Dating Thread 82

[steelchic]

Psssst Daters over here !!
Come share your stories good and bad

But Rioux if you met someone for the first time not though OLD surely you would not expect to be exlusive after one date?

Rioux I am not keen on double dating and keeping options open. I did go on a date while a month in dating Mr Young and it felt at odds with the way my brain works or was use to working.

I was insecure that man I have been dating was keeping his old profile to keep options open and I made it clear I didn't like the idea of sleeping together if we are still looking around and dating others, I felt a bit old fashioned saying so.
I think it is a belief that with old that there's so many options that its hard for old to not think they might do better or why settle if no instant fireworks.
I suppose I rl dates don't come along so frequent and in rl you get to see the person in flesh and get a proper feel for chemistry.
Are there morals or rules to old, men might be doing it with a different mindset?

jesy I know what a shame..

It does amaze me what some of these guys will say behind safety of screen or text messaging. Why would someone tell you the size of their knob, or that they enjoy oral sex before even meeting, seems very weird to me. I am not shocked just disappointed

riuox when I was actively looking I would happily chat to more than one person. I would have potential dates lined up with more than one person pre first date stage.
If I went to a second date I would generally put any other first date on hold.
If I bother to go on a 3rd date I give that my full attention until I see which way it is going to go and generally stop any other chat other than the just banter ones.

I think this would be the same even if I had has more time to dedicate to going dating. I just don't have the energy!

I don't think you can generalise over a particular gender as lots of people on OLD are married and some like one of my exes meet and sleep with up to 6 people in one week, whereas others will only chat to one person at a time.

a lot of people are probably in the middle ground which is a bit more like what used to be traditionally the American style of dating.

Blossom

It same with Mr v , he tall sexy cheeky lives in right area ie close seems fun but does have an issue with me not working ,but that I can understand x

jesy What issue about you not working, I thought you were anyway?

Blossom

Not working I can do 16hours but it's so hit n miss
Was offered 2 hours today and well as not qualified I'm putting my careere at risk

He just seems funny about it x

rioux I always keep options open as so many weird things have happened. I know when I meet the one my profile will be off those sites like a rocket. OLD is tiresome but many people where have little opportunity to meet someone any other way.

Hi all
I have been lurking for a while and wonder if anyone can help with my question. I've been online dating for a while and been on a few dates but not fancied anyone I've met so far. I got talking to a guy last week who unfortunately lives miles away (2 1/2 hour train journey) but he is very witty, kind, chatty etc. I know the rule about not investing before you meet, etc and totally get that....he could be very different in real life (and he might find me very different in real life!). We have been texting each other loads over the last week and last night he asked me to talk on the phone (he had asked me before but I was too tired so I said no.

Anyway, we were on the 'phone for 3 and a quarter hours and he was just so interesting and witty. We then texted each other for 30 minutes after that. However, I can tell he is a very chatty, friendly guy (he told me about a couple of women he'd met for dates and that he's kept in touch even though there was no 'spark'). Today he said he was going to post something to me and then very quickly sent me another message telling me not to read anything into it and that he just does 'random' things. I guess this is his way of telling me he is not interested in me in 'that' way. What do you think? He has messaged a few lovely things, very complimentary, and also said it's a shame I live so far away as he finds me so 'interesting' (he's also alluded to fact that he thinks I'm attractive)...but that doesn't mean he actually wants to pursue things and meet up does it? I know it's a hell of a journey but I felt so connected with him, especially after our call, that I did feel we should meet up and see how we get on. Neither of us mentioned that but then he does seem to be very cautious about saying anything like that.

Should I take it that he is just being friendly with no romantic intentions? I have to add that I think if we lived close we would def have arranged to meet up already as we have loads in common etc.

carrot I don't really understand your post sorry.

Oh sorry, not clear - I meant he was going to post a parcel to me about something we discussed on the phone but then sent another message saying that he does this kind of thing randomly and for me not to read anything into it. Which I took to mean that he doesn't fancy me. I'm not really asking about the parcel as such - more the fact that he's spent so much time in contact with me but seems to be telling me he's just after friendship. I'm just confused and want to know if people think he's interested in me or just friendly!

Hard to say carrot Why not ask him. Often had the lots of messaging, nice chat on phone and then disappearing act. OLD is a mine field. I would reluctant to start anything with anyone at such a distance antway, just just logistics but that is me.

RiouxMenu and get what they want, that's depressing. Must be women who feel the same and just want sex too.
I started old with a positive outlook but the past 6 months on old have given me another view of men, not all I have had dates with have been just after sex, or maybe they were.
But how can you tell, soul love a manual on men because I have no idea what they are after.

Would love a menu on men.

carrot CHILL! nothing has happened as yet... ;-)

Oh and watch those phone calls, mind you don't go over your minutes (like double) and land yourself a £200 mobile phone bill.

Just Saying. that was Mr BMW's legacy for me btw. only myself to blame, but OWCH....

Manual, ignore me I'm trying to cook dinner.

gotta I know what you mean, I feel bloody jaded by the whole thing. Poor man just messaged me and I bit his head of for being negative in his profile, somehow got us chatting, I really must take a chill pill.

I know - I want to chill, Hissy, I just seem to have found a lovely, funny, kind and attentive man with whom I have loads in common and want to meet him! He phoned me so, yes, I will have to be careful with a return call! I just wonder if he'd bother with essentially spending six evenings entirely texting with me and one eve on the 'phone if he wasn't interested in more than a friend (he sounds like he has a full life). But there again - who knows - OLD is a funny old game.

Blossom Can I have one of those pills too. I find myself questioning myself and my ability to see the genuine in men.

You have not met him! You have not met him! You have not met him! You have not met him! You have not met him! You have not met him! You have not met him! You have not met him! You have not met him! You have not met him! You have not met him! You have not met him!

it could all be BS, he could stink like a polecat or have breath to stop a truck....

He's interested, but he doesn't know you either, so either he's looking to acquire a GF anyone, or he's potentially interested, but until you meet him you don't know.

I have a proper skype date tonight with MrFrancais apparently.

Have been reading up on Frenchmen in relationships, it's another world entirely! A bit previous, but they are a whole other kettle of fish apparently...

anyway, he may not fancy me. nor I him.

Ok, had OLD on the back burner for a bit, but now ready to do more with it. I just don't understand Match and how it works. They send me these men they think are matches and I just look at them and think, "Are they out of their minds?" So, I went back to my profile and narrowed the type of man I am interested in. (To be fair I had put forth no parameters not wanting to be unnecessarily exclusive. I think that was a mistake.)

A cute guy Winked at me and I went to look at his profile - the 1st profile of a man I ever looked at during my 1 month of OLD. So next day I decided I would Wink at him and I go back and his profile is gone. What does that mean? LOL! - they come and go, huh?

I never really thought about it before but I am not attracted to men with facial hair. Amazing to me how many men have facial hair.

I know I am slow at this. I enjoy reading about you all and how proactive you are. It's motivating for me.

Advice please, just asked Mr Young if he'd like to meet after work tomorrow, he says yes. I ask of he wants to meet in pub. He says he's skint....what do I do. Offer to buy him a drink or just say ok lets leave it.
Maybe he's not bothered about meeting. He might genuinely be skint till pay day.
What do I do?

Gotta - doesn't sound promising does it? I would text back and say leave it for now but let me know when you can go for a drink.

This is the first meet up - minimum should be 50:50 I think - but then I'm old!