I think you DO have to find the person attractive if not from the 1st date at least by date 3. and that goes for looks, personality etc.
I really disagree with this and think it is very different for men (who are generally much more visual) than women.
I would say the above statement is probably true for men. But more realistically at least by date 2, if not date 1.
For women, I think the only thing to be said is that if you find someone actively unattractive (as opposed to blah/neutral) then there is little point in persevering.
One of the reasons I've decided to give up OLD is that in real life all of my relationships have been with men I've become friends with first. None of them were men I found physically wow attractive from the start - they were all situations where chemistry grew massively after I got to know them. In once case I'd known the guy for 3 years and worked with him really closely.
OLD is pointless for me - for the reason you've given - which is that people (men) expect something to be bubbling by date 3 and a women to sleep with them pretty sharpish. I'd prefer to keep getting to know someone slowly over time - which OLD doesn't cater for.
I'd also add that if I was screening as you do in OLD by "things you want" (looks/height/smoker/non-smoker/etc), probably none of them would have made it through my screening process - which I find really interesting and exposes the flaws in OLD.
For example, the man I had the most amazing chemistry with I would have found his photo unattractive; in fact ultimately, I loved him totally because his personality and sparkling eyes made him super attractive to me and he looked better in person because he didn't photograph well at all.