Rape -Judy Finnegan

[HiawathaDidntBotherTooMuch]

DH and I were talking about this earlier. I hadn't heard anything about it, but he said 'Judy Finnegan got into trouble earlier for what she said about that footballer, going on to recount what she had said. Then he said 'you can understand what she meant though, there are different types of rape ...'. I flew off the handle, and said that I was offended and disgusted by what he had said.

He then went on and in about how sentences can vary to reflect the degrees of violence in rapes. I again flew off the handle and said that all rapes are violent.

He tried to explain what he meant. Which was that all rapes are disgusting, and every rapist should go to prison for their actions. But that some rapes involved more violence than others, just like some murders are more violent than others. He wanted to discuss it with me, but I couldn't speak to him, I was so disgusted. He has stormed off saying that I am pathetic and weird for not discussing what he had tried to explain.

I cannot get my head around what he is saying.

It doesn't seem sensible to me to fall out over it until you discuss it properly.

I understand why you baulked at the 'different types of rape' line OP, it's one of the key rape myths that implies some types of rape are worse than others. Some people believe that violent rape is 'real rape' and necessarily worse than any other kind. That's the logical conclusion to that line of thinking.

It's true that some rapes are more violent than others, but that doesn't tell you anything about the degree of trauma suffered in the event. And violence is charged separately anyway.

That's a good point but OP hasn't been back to the thread for 48 hours so we can only guess and make assumptions now about whether or not they have disccused it properly. And what the outcome was.

^^ was in response to Curiou

Totally agree with your point yonic. They both should have been charged imo

I thought he was charged but found not guilty?

www.crimeline.info/case/r-v-ched-evans-chedwyn-evans

Here - he had a co defendant.

I've not made any assumptions as to whether the OP's discussed it... or the outcome... This isn't the kind of topic that's settled in one conversation anyway.

That was to Herdy ^^

They were both charged, but I agree with Yonic that they should both have been convicted.

Sorry I meant convicted.

Clearly I was responding to the original post.

Rape is violent in and of itself. There may be GBH or ABH as well, but rape itself is physical violence perpetrated upon a person. Any rape, every rape is violent.

Rape also involves psychological violence.

Rape is rape is rape.

GBH or ABH are additional crimes, you dont get less for "non violent rape" but may get more if you cause physical damage along with the rape.

Yanbu (i know its not aibu) to not be able to discuss it with him though. I cant discuss it with anyone.

I havent read the thread

Oh and to anyone moaning at her for not being able to debate semantics with her DH, you have no idea why it is that she cant.

I didn't say that you had, Twinklestein..
I was replying to CuriouSir, who was pointing out to the (absent) OP, that it wasn't a good idea to fall out over this without a discussion.
I did add a note underneath, but apologies for any confusion.

No worries Herdy your post followed mine so I assumed it was a response.

This is really just about semantics. I know what the husband is trying to get at.

I agree JuniorMumber. Statutory rape is an ideal example.

While I'm at it, I will just annoy a few other people by saying that I find it deplorable that anonymity isn't both ways in any sexually related trial until convicted.

And i will annoy you back by saying you are wrong :)

Why? I'm not saying out the accuser, but hide the perpetrator until convicted.

Because it doesnt work that way with any other crime? You can be named once charged, and men arent charged with rape willy nilly.

Maybe if you didn't immediately fly off the handle at each other, you might get your point across better.

Nobody ever persuaded anybody else by raging.

I cannot get my head around the fact that the girlfriends father seems happy for his daughter to be with a man who treats women like this. What appalling parenting. Even if Evans was 'merely' guilty of treating women like shit (assuming she consented and I KNOW SHE DID NOT), what kind of father financially and emotionally supports a man when they have done this to two women?

Both Evans and his girlfriends father are pieces of shit.

Would you date someone accused and found innocent of burglary?

Would you date someone accused and found innocent of rape?