It was never 'work stress', it's emotional abuse and you're going to get divorced because of it H! (part3)

[thenamehaschanged]

New thread!

As always I'm hopeless and can't link properly to my old thread Work stress? Err I don't think so mate'

Thank you everyone for finishing off the last thread- glad to be starting afresh actually! I did have a little chuckle about Greg the plumber (Phwoar!!) thanks H for the suggestion - us at Mumsnet ran with it and he sounds like my dream man haha!

Anyway - I'm upstairs as usual avoiding going down and seeing old King of the Castle in his throne. He came up half an hour ago in the hope of 'some action' but was told to bugger off - he's manageable at the moment because all of a sudden it's him who's 'scared to rock the boat' and keeps telling me how grateful if he is to have been allowed back - yack! (You didn't give me a lot of choice H though did you? You played every emotional card in your pack and then literally forced your way in!)

Anyway - I'm feeling strong, seeing the police tomorrow - and action plan will be in place!

Love to you all

Yes lists are my friends this week, I'm going to be very busy and focused!

On your back? Is Greg the plumber there too?

Urgh...if there was an emoticon for slapping your face with both hands and pulling your cheeks down so you resemble Droopy then I would use it here.

H has arranged babysitting for Wednesday night and has booked a romantic birthday meal for me at a secret location.

I've said I'm not really up for it because I've never used babysitting before - I can get out of it, I'll just keep up with the 'no, don't really fancy it' routine although it's not going to go down well.

I was doing the happy normal routine tonight as per usual and then he just came out with it and literally stopped me in my tracks. I could tell he was scanning me suspiciously because I wasn't immediately enthusiastic.

One day in my future, I really hope a lovely man says that to me and my heart skips and I feel all excited - not some psycho that I'm about to have arrested please? That wasn't nice to hear

Glad to hear that you have had a lovely weekend Name. Any time away from TwattyChops is bliss, I'd imagine .

I don't think TwattyChops has discovered Name's threads either. If he had, he would be the sort to twist it and use it against her. Abusive types like this also like to think that no one else knows about their abuse, that they are so cunning, so smart, that no one sees what they are doing (pure bollocks of course). If he thought there were 3 threads going which discussed their marriage and divorce in depth, he would have chucked an absolute fit by now.

Of course its always good to be vigilant and schtum about what you are doing Name, and the support and advice you are getting here is one that should be kept well hidden from him. I am sure you have that covered though .

I would get out of that one, Name.

I would, too. Remember you can bring things forward anytime if it hots up at home.

I'm going to trackr

Thank you Zazzles

Yes thanks Outflew - weekends are always the hardest to get through - even if I go away with a friend for a while, I still have to come back and see him as he currently is at the moment - desperate for a reconciliation. I knew seeing his mum would remind him of my birthday and what a perfect excuse to do some worming. It's tough.

But yes I can speed things up I guess - or wait for the lovely PO next week - I bet by next week he's being shitty again, not that that matters really

I know it's shit after such a fun weekend. You're on the way to a lifetime of lovely weekends, though, just keep thinking about that.

Oh Outflew honestly, it was so depressing getting back - lovely having hugs with the girls obviously but him sat there with the football on, quietly dominating - I just wanted it me and the girls - it was a taste of what divorced life will be like, a weekend with friends and then Sunday evening with my kids and absolutely no minding what I say and having to watch football.

It's ok, I'll get out of this meal and keep forging ahead but I knew he might try something and I was right!

Urgh, yuck at the latest development of "arranged babysitting for Wednesday night and has booked a romantic birthday meal at a secret location". No advice for palatable excuses, but absolutely second getting out of it. He's really putting on the charm offensive, isn't he? Pity that train left the station ages ago.

an emoticon for slapping your face with both hands and pulling your cheeks down so you resemble Droopy

I did have a little chuckle at this turn of phrase, Name. Smart, capable, and funny. Who knew, huh? Certainly not TwattyChops.

Haha thanks Zazzles! I know, to be honest I had no idea things would drag on this long - sometimes divorce papers can come back from court in a week depending how busy they are - mine took nearly five - also I should have done this soo much sooner - it now has happened that here I am at crunch time and it's mine and dd's birthdays - perfect opportunity for Twatchops to slather on the charm a good 2 inches thick - but it's ok, I'll still get through this!!!

I'm not liking the sound of a secret location AT ALL.

don't go - if all fails pull the migraine trick in the afternoon and lay it on really thick xxx

I dont like the sound of it either. I bet the plan is to try and push you to have a glass of wine or two so he can pull the old "well i think you still have a drink problem" trick again.

He is really ramping up the husband of the year act isn't he? I hope you got the canesten and yoghurt to leave lying around, sounds as you might need to use that excuse.

Also, you don't think he might book the day off for your birthday so you can do something? Do you have any local friends that you could use as an excuse by saying you have something planned with them if he tries to spring something on you? Or even your parents?

Yeah, I don't think I'd go to any 'secret location' with him. I think on Wednesday I'd go into the bathroom, make 'vomitty' noises, put a heating pad on my face so I'm flushed and warm, and crawl into bed moaning.

Used to work on exams days when I was in school (sometimes).

I will Nina thank you - I don't think there's anything 'dark' about it to start with - it will be a nice restaurant and it's his brother who's offered to babysit BUT we all know that the night would turn nasty after the main course and we'd probably arrive home separately - OR - he'd be so keen to keep things nice it would be saccharine sweet but he would be grilling me about 'us' and the future and putting me in a horrible position - play along and then get him arrested soon after or hesitate in playing along due to my conscience and fully risk some awful, public scene - it's a no win and so I know better than to place myself there!

Good professional tip there Pond! Thanks!

Fluffy there is no way he would take a day off, ever, so I'm ok there!

Good point Darkest - it's almost like all that's been forgotten now - because obviously I'm not an alcoholic, not much more has been said on it - I don't think even he could buy a bottle of wine for the table and then accuse me of being an alkie for drinking it - although you never know!

We'll just have to organise you a MNetters birthday party, no men allowed, he won't want to argue with all if us when we arrive enmasse to pick you up, great night out, loads if new friends, simples!

Wouldn't that be great Adara!!

Oooohhh, Pond's fake DV bug sounds like a goer. And pretty easy to do as well. You're going to have to be inventive and creative Name to get around TwattyChops' advances. That's where the collective mind of MN is at its best .

Isn't there a one off show of pin cushions at the local library on Wed only that you've been dying to see?

Or maybe earache/blocked sinuses leading to bad headache, no one else can see the symptoms of that?

Migraines? Just have to go to bed with the curtains closed and lights off. It's a dull way to spend your birthday but at least you'd get out of dinner!

Would a straight forward no I don't want to go out work? Birthdays should be spent with the family so get a takeaway and sit with the girls and watch a film, especially as it's a school night and they won't settle for uncle .... As they aren't used to a baby sitter. Failing that throw up on him!