Text message meant for someone else?

[springchickennolonger]

Looked at my phone this morning. Found a text message from Dp which was obviously not meant for me. It's incriminating -to another woman- but I don't want to draw any conclusions until I'm sure it's from his phone.

Is there any way it could be from somewhere else?

I'm a bit shocked tbh and not sure what to do.

My gut feeling is to gather more evidence before confronting him. Any advice?

Thanks.

Thanks all. Yes, he's dd's father and they dote on each other. Not sure how to handle things. I feel very calm-not sure if it's shock, though. Not in denial really, just feel one bit of evidence isn't damning enough.

He has a lock on his phone.

The circumstances indicate that he was sending you and her texts at the same time and got confused. Hers probably scrolled at the top and he sent a reply forgetting your text thread was already open. I have done this.
It kind of makes things worse actually that he can compartmentalise his life in that way. Read your texts while sending to her.is so complicated that it would be a dangerous thing to do. Does he wan't toobe caught?

Forget about his phone for a minute.

Do you have a smartphone ?

If so, go on a findmyphone website. Samsung do one. Mangobird is a good one as well and is really accurate. Set your phone up to their site. They will ask for your email and mobile number. They're fairly easy to set up. I'm a techno phobe and I managed.
Or maybe you have an iphone?

Accidentally leave it in his car (in back pocket) or passenger side drawer is a good one (somewhere that doesn't look as if you have hidden it on purpose - more a Oh no, I put it there for the time being and forgot to pick it up if he asks scenario.

Oh yes. And make sure EVERYTHING on the phone is set to silent first, ringtones, system, notifications, vibration (battery alert if you can) - Everything.

Next time you suspect he's going to meet her, you can go on your computer, log in to the findmyphone app and send a message to your phone and it will send you back the exact location.

There's no need for fancy expensive trackers anymore.

Anyway, You're only trying to find your phone, which you accidentally left in his car and you wanted to check it wasn't 'lost'. Nobody can argue with that.

Good luck.

Yes OW probably got a text saying "don't forget to iron my blue shirt."

So sorry this has happened to you OP. So many of us have been there and the shock is awful.

Take care and please do take my advice and confide in someone trustworthy in RL.

I forgot to say, this was how I found out where my cheating ex H's OW lived.
I wasn't expecting it to work, but it did
It showed him being there when he should have been at work.

It just goes to show, they don't always cheat AFTER work, when they're working late.

What a shitty thing to be dealing with OP.
I would have to confront him to just get it out of my system instead of being knotted up.
So sorry OP.

I wonder if him inputting (or mucking up the input) of the miSsing name was somehow how the message went awry.

please don't draw any notion that he's reduced you to anything, that may be the reason you are let into this secret.

i'm sorry, this is damning and there"s no way this is innocent, no way at all. the tone, the time, the intimacy. :(

as hard as it is to see, finding this stuff out today means it's less time that you're being lied to. allows you to move on faster.

we're all here for you. (((hug)))

If you have an iphone, check this link, which I found on another MN thread
www.buzzfeed.com/jimwaterson/your-iphone-knows-exactly-where-youve-been-and-this-is-how-t#wsaazs

There are settings that show where you go and when. So again you would need to lose your phone in his car. The link is self explanatory

Gee, thanks all. Brilliant idea to lose my phone!

The link I gave differs from the find my phone thing. It just retains all the info. So, for example, I now know what time I arrived and left work, and the shops etc etc

Check the landline for calls made and received. If the number is in phone book you can get a firm to give you the name and address for that number. Doesn't cost much

Bidingmytime07, that is AMAZING! I didn't know it could do that. Really, really scary, actually.

Also what Bidingmytime says.

It's even better if you have an iphone.
(but it's easy to track other smartphones work as well)

You will suss it out.
Time to play Sherlock Holmes.

It certainly is. And to think I thought MN was all about nappies and Farrow & Ball:)

These phones are brilliant.
Yes it's easyto cheat, but now it's SO easy to CATCH A CHEAT.

The cheats are having their comeuppance about bloody time

O is he there with you tonight? Have you spoken to each other

Quite ironic that the mobile phone that sooo enabled affairs is now the biggest trap too haha

I'm intrigued by the 'watching tv with ." I thought you'd just left your own name out but he had printed it there....

Unless your name is Dot Op.

What a great idea to use findmyphone. Do you have an external battery? If so you should use it so there is less chance of the battery running out too soon.

But I don't get the point. Why is being parked in someone else's driveway (or whatever) when he should be somewhere else more incriminating than that text.
And if his affair is with a colleague...

Op you've had separate beds for years , he doesn't bother with you and it seems you've taken a range of steps to improve things and he hasn't been interested . It's obvious he emotionally checked out of this marriage some time ago .

I'm not sure I'd bother confronting him. I think I'd just make plans to leave. Him having a ow may work to your advantage in that he may not make it difficult for you . Considering his awful treatment of you , I don't think I'd give him the satisfaction of questioning him about a ow .

Do you really want a confrontation and then half hearted attempts at salvaging your marriage ? This could go on for years.

Fuck him off. Trade him in. You deserve better.

What a great idea to use findmyphone. Do you have an external battery? If so you should use it so there is less chance of the battery running out too soon.

When I used it to find out where my ex H was, I found that the phone would last approximately 24 hours (that's with the phone being on standby, with GPS, AND Internet functions switched on.
I was never sure what had to be turned on, so used to switch the whole lot on, and then have it on standby, but not turned-off completely.

(I made sure all the sound functions were turned off - that's important)

But, it surprised me how long the battery used to last. I had a good day AND night out of it before it went dead.

I agree, Stealth. In terms of evidence, the text is a gift. I think the OP is still, naturally, really shocked and can't see she doesn't need any more evidence than this.

Your cat.... that IMO doesnt sound overly familiar, if i text friends about their pets or what not i would use their actual names.
Unless as a pp said it is a vulgar euphomism (sp)?

Maybe OP thinks that if she confronts him with one piece of evidence, he will worm his way out of it, but, if she can gather further evidence, ie proof that he is parked somewhere he shouldn't be - then he will have to admit that something's going on.

One piece of evidence (no matter how cut and dried) might not be enough. Especially if he's an expert liar.