Text message meant for someone else?

[springchickennolonger]

Looked at my phone this morning. Found a text message from Dp which was obviously not meant for me. It's incriminating -to another woman- but I don't want to draw any conclusions until I'm sure it's from his phone.

Is there any way it could be from somewhere else?

I'm a bit shocked tbh and not sure what to do.

My gut feeling is to gather more evidence before confronting him. Any advice?

Thanks.

Good luck tonight OP

The 'my phone is missing tac?'

He's had all day to come up with excuses..... pls be prepared to not believe a word of it......best of luck.

He's back from work unexpectedly! Conversation goes something like this:

Him: do you want to talk about the text?
Me: er...Yes please.
Him: it was to a friend at work.
Me: so you DID send it, then?
Him: yes, it was to a friend at work.
Me: you sent THAT to a friend at work?
Him: yes, I was flirting.
Me: you were flirting with a friend at 11.30, and you expect me to believe it?
Him: er........
Me: you call a friend "honey"? You've never spoken to me like that in 30 years!
Him: no...(mumbling..cue tears)
Me: I thought you'd at least try to deny it...and there's no need for tears of self pity, you big baby..
Him: so what do you want to do then?
Me: (a bit nonplussed)...well it's over, naturally..

Cue dd coming in from school at this point...

So he didn't even bother to deny it

Christ on a bike...

Oh gosh, I'm so sorry for you!! Didn't even say sorry..

That does seem a bit like tears at being found out. So sorry this is happening to you. What an idiot. At least he didn't try to deny it - small mercy.

I wouldn't expect him to say sorry, tbh. He's gone back to work now. It was all a bit matter-of-fact, but that's what he's like. It was me effing and blinding but at least I kept my temper, just about. I'd have gone on a bit more given the opportunity. I need to think about an exit strategy now.

This is what I think I'll do. I'll text him later (I'm working til 8) asking him to not to speak but to contact me by text/email whilst I have a think. I can't look at him at the moment. I don't want to be distracted by any bleatings of self-pity/excuses.

Thanks all for reading and your support-really means a lot.

What a prick

oh love. :( how are you feeling?

stay strong.

telling him it's over is the biggest chance you have of saving this. if you want to.

make him see what he's going to lose.

this is not the end. not yet.

What a dick. Tears of self pity.....so sorry it's turned out to be as you feared though.

Are you ok? Or relieved?

Blimey! I expected him to at least try to flannel about a bit. He's an idiot.

Do you know what I would do? And I never say this. I would ask to call this 'colleague' and ask what's going on.

So sorry. I know it was kind of a foregone conclusion, but it still hurts to have it confirmed. And yes, I suspect the tears were because he was caught out. They'll soon dry up once he's over the shock of being found out.

Hope you're coping okay at this point..

100% wouldn't call the colleague. If it's over it's over the details don't matter.

If you want to try and sort it out I would let him stew for a few days and when you know he has nothing on in other words no excuse to leave the house mid conversation I would want to see his bill, his phone and if something wasn't adding up I would text her from his phone pretending to be him. I did the latter when my boyfriend who I lived with was cheating on me and found out that he was even more full of shit than I first though!

Thanks all. I'm kind of relieved, I think. Glad I wasn't imagining it. At least it's in the open. And at least I have PROOF that he's a dick. I've spent years wondering if it's just me and speaking up for him to others (my parents thought he was an entitled dick too, but I didn't listen..) . I'm still frankly surprised at this, though, especially the teenagery way he came across in the text.

Oh and for good measure I'd check his emails too

What's to check? He's bang to rights!
Well done chicken.

OP. What a twatbag.

Aww, you poor thing. I hope your DD is ok. She is at a tricky age . (Although there is never a good age). My only completely uneducated advice is to try and think long term and as logically as possible. That's not to say its a bad thing to scream and shout but just to take your time and think about what you are doing. IYKWIM.

Perhaps you could ask him to move out so you can decide how to approach things. Perhaps a quick inventory on your savings etc might be a good idea. Screen shot or photograph everything possible just in case things turn nasty.
good luck for the future. Hopefully it won't be too long before you can enjoy your freedom from him.

badabing atm I'm not interested in Catwoman. That may change, though. He has several office locations as he's a consultant, so it could be any body, anywhere. My bet is Birmingham, though, as it fits with the Tuesday night bit of the text.

I don't want to save the relationship as things stand. My priority is dd, whose well-being is far more important than anything else atm.

Wow - it sounds like kind of a disappointment that it didn't go how you expected it to.
A few words and then DONE!
Weird!

And why are parents always bloody well right?

Give it some time to sink in before you take any action.
For now he just needs to move out to give you some thinking space.
Like you say, you can't stand the sight of him right now.
If he has any respect for you he will do this for you.
Then have a good think and then get all your ducks in a row and then decide what you want to do.

And while all of that is going on, you need to look after yourself. Keep yourself hydrated. Sugary drinks, tea, ice lollies, soup and someone mentioned that milkshakes were seeing them through all of this.

for you, this is a shit time!