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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

am i being mugged off?????

656 replies

jude3184 · 17/09/2014 16:52

ok so im gonna start right at the beginning.....i was in a relationship for 7 years with a man who made me feel like crap. He said he liked me the way I was (absolutely massive) he had me totally emotionally dependent on him then he upped and left me and my two girls.

I soon wised up and dropped 4 stone and met someone who I thought was amazing...until 6 months down the line he smashed my house into pieces then started on me...so thats the end of that story too. I finished it instantly and spent the next 3 years focused on me myself and my beautiful daughters.

This is where im either going to sound like a completely ungrateful little brat or im gonna get told that im right to be concerned....

I have met a wonderful man and he has a 2 year old daughter. We have been together little over a year now. he has recently moved from wales to be with me and as it stood when he moved up, he saw his daughter every other weekend when she stayed with us plus he saw her every other day after work at his mothers for 3 hours. last week I had a phone call to TELL me that she would now be staying every other night at our over night PLUS the weekends that she usually stays. This wouldnt be a problem but since im in a tiny two bed flat and i already have my daughters who live with me, his daughter is now in with us every other night all night and she still doesnt sleep through the night and to top that off his dog who he insists is more like his daughter than his pet insists on sleeping int he bedroom also. I feel ive been kind of lulled into a false sense of what will happen only for him to slowly move his daughter in too!! He pays me £50 a week because he says he cant afford any more.....not only that, recently he had a week off work through being ill that he got behind on his child maintainance payments and tried to insist I look out a loan because his credit wasnt good enough so that he could pay it to his ex for his daughter and so that he could buy his daughter birthday presents. I point blank refused and he got very annoyed but I said it wasnt happening so he dropped it.

Now I feel I have lost respect for him a little. Is it too much to ask for a man that looks after ME for a change instead of me footing the bill for everything?? Perfect example of this : we went to drayton manor recently, I PAID FOR THE TICKETS.....he gave me a small amount of fuel money that would have covered getting half way there and I had to sort the rest...we then got in to the park and I said I fancied an icecream, he said he couldnt afford one so i felt bad, paid for one for him AND his dinner...he then stopped at the shop before we went home so that he could buy his daughter a souvenir. to say i was raging is an understatement...

ANNNNNNNYWAYYYYYYYY.....I called him on his lunch today and told him that he needs to come home so that we can discuss everything. Do I need to man up and stop being a mug?? Or an I over reacting a little, because we are great together and he makes me laugh most days lol xxx

OP posts:
DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 19/09/2014 15:44

That's disgusting, leaving a soiled nappy on your kitchen worktop. What a pity you didn't accidentally drop it into his precious fishtank.

As for him whining about losing weight when you're no longer feeding him, (diddums), he should be lose a bit more when he actually gets around to walking his own dog every day.

Your DD1 sounds great. You and both girls deserve a lovely trip away after all this.

LoisPuddingLane · 19/09/2014 15:47

Wankbadger! Cockwomble!

BitterAndOnlySlightlyTwisted · 19/09/2014 15:47

"The only worry you should have about booting him out is that you might have scuffed the toe of your boot."

This bears repetition. Just because . Nice one, nauticant

oldgrandmama · 19/09/2014 16:02

...or (still channelling the fish theme) once the dog has departed, you could get a cat. And save on cat food for a few weeks Grin Grin Grin

OK, OK, don't flame me, I'm joking!

SweetErmengarde · 19/09/2014 16:10

Well done, OP! Not long to go now. Can someone come over this evening so that he can't up the ante with his poor-me bollocks?

You could hand him a roll of binbags as soon as you get home and suggest he gets a head start on his packing....

FuckYouChrisAndThatHorse · 19/09/2014 16:29

Jux :o

Very
Irritating
Man-child
Terribly
Ostracised

(I'm not very good at this)

jude3184 · 19/09/2014 16:30

I could but to be honest I'm not that brave haha I'm gonna just keep enforcing the Sunday is d day xxx

OP posts:
FuckYouChrisAndThatHorse · 19/09/2014 16:31

Vile
Ingrate
Mumsnetted
Totally
Oestrogenically

sproutsmum · 19/09/2014 16:33

( i'm joking ) tell him every time you here him whine and every time he stops packing or stalls you will "release " one of his beloved fishies into the ocean via the big swirly waterslide in the bathroom ( see him make record time packing his shit then!

sproutsmum · 19/09/2014 16:33

*hear

jude3184 · 19/09/2014 16:37

Hahahahaha pmsl that's very amusing!! I wouldn't do that to the fish, I'd be crying as I threatened to flush it. Just the knowing it's alive ya know? I'd feel like a a murderer!! Hahha xx

OP posts:
FuckYouChrisAndThatHorse · 19/09/2014 16:40

Just start musing aloud about random scenarios... "Hmm, I wonder who would win in a fight between a husky and a load of fish if you threw them all in a pond..."

Fairenuff · 19/09/2014 16:40

Sunday? So he got the 'one more night' after all. Why are you giving him an extra day jude, what difference will it make to either of you. If he can't move out on Saturday, what makes you/him think he can do on Sunday?

Tell him to leave tomorrow, no point dragging it out any longer. Then you can get on enjoying your freedom.

sykadelic · 19/09/2014 16:40

To be honest, that bit about fish having a 7 second memory is bollocks. Fish are great pets and I was absolutely distraught (and yes i cried) when my Comets got sick and passed away.

Depending on the type of fish, they can live for a VERY long time when properly cared for. If your fish have died you're a bad pet-parent and I definitely felt that way.

That's not to say the OP's guy isn't a total knob, he is, but fish are animals too.

jude3184 · 19/09/2014 16:42

I have no words

OP posts:
jude3184 · 19/09/2014 16:45

Sure!! I'd just prefer them to go about their fishy business somewhere that isn't here. Please don't panic.....no animals were harmed in the creation of this thread...

OP posts:
jude3184 · 19/09/2014 16:46

sykadelic want some fish???

OP posts:
FuckYouChrisAndThatHorse · 19/09/2014 16:47

Should I add that I love and respect my dog and my fish :o

jude3184 · 19/09/2014 16:48

Awww I fucking loved my springer when I had him. He amazing was my Jerry Springer

OP posts:
FuckYouChrisAndThatHorse · 19/09/2014 16:53

Springers are great fun :) I swear they never stop.

Maybe you should get a dog :o

sykadelic · 19/09/2014 16:58

Haha no thanks! I'd take the tank if I lived nearby though! A 5ft tank is EXPENSIVE!

jude3184 · 19/09/2014 17:04

That's probably one of the funnier posts considering it's about a skinflint hahahaha xx

OP posts:
WheelbarrowWoman · 19/09/2014 17:34

Keep strong, OP, you're nearly there!
You're going to feel so great when he's finally out.
WineCakeThanks for you, and
Wine

jude3184 · 19/09/2014 17:40

Hahaha well thank you very much!! My heads thumping already he home in 10 mins! I'm off to take girls to their dads which is equally as fucking annoying because he's just as big a douche!! God I pick them!! X

OP posts:
PedantMarina · 19/09/2014 17:43

Personally, I find the best burial for fish is to lovingly coat them with beer-batter, prior to the ritualistic cleanse of hot oil for 6-8 minutes.

Annoint with holy tartare sauce.

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