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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Should I leave partner?

79 replies

Lollypops20181 · 14/09/2014 18:43

Partner and I have been together for over 10 years and have one child. We had him very young (age18 and 20). I attended university and we lived together near where I studied. I completed my degree and we all moved to a new city so I could start my career. In the interim years that followed my partner decided he wanted to also go to uni which I fully supported. The only issue was it was a 5 hour drive from our current city. We decided it would be unfair for child to move again and that he would move to the uni and commute home at the weekends.
All was fine to begin with then the mistrust began to seep in, in ways I was jealous - after all he was having the uni experience I had dreamed of and worked so hard for. He was living in halls of residence, was able to go out when he wanted, photos started appearing on facebook which he tried to hide (they were put up invariably by the same girl all the time).
On occasions he would then ignore me and not answe calls from me cos he was busy with friends. He started to pick arguments with me for no reason.

I then discovered he was a member of tinder; had discussed all our problems at length including very personal issues About me with this girl he had met at uni, I read some of the messages and they all ended with xxx from both of them.

He denied having physically cheated.

I have financially, emotionally and academically supported him with his endeavour to gain a degree.

Yesterday I used his laptop and discovered search terms such as "I can't stop thinking about another woman" etc.

Now when we go out he will sometimes leave me in a bar and flirt with other women around him.

I have confronted him, he says he loves me. He didn't cheat etc etc. I told him his behaviour really bothers and upsets me and he has apologised.

I'm not sure I have the energy to continue with this mental turmoil any longer. I feel I deserve more, I should have more self respect . I don't know what to do.

Advice most welcome.

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 15/09/2014 17:24

Boris, that is genius dude Smile

AnyFucker · 15/09/2014 17:25

sunshine, some of us old birds have seen it allllll before

got the t shirt and the legwarmers

rainbowinmyroom · 15/09/2014 17:33

He doesn't love you, he loves your purse.

HansieLove · 15/09/2014 19:42

So, you told him to go? How did that go?

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