Anyone here? DP just broke my heart and I can't cope.

[CrimsonDay]

Pleasesomeonen jus talk to me. DP I my world and he has just told m he's done.
I cant breathe or sleep

Just to say someone else is here for you when you wake up - I'm so sorry this user took advantage of you. I hope things are brighter in the morning.

Hi crimson I know how you feel. My stbxh said was over 3 weeks ago. I am in pain all the time. It's torture and now I want it to stop so much that I am wobbling and 'wanting' him back just to make this pain stop. I must not though! Just like you, we all deserve better than who these men deem us worthy of. I think it's a massive cop out imho. This man shouldn't have made any moves on you; it's way too early days for you.
Staying strong is easier said than done. I haven't got the strength right now either. But I know I have to get through one miserable say after the other and maybe it won't be quite so miserable in the morning? (or maybe like today I woke up at 4am crying)
I wish I had more to help, but maybe just knowing you are not alone might help. I hope it gets better for all of us.

Thanks everyone. I should be going to work but I can't face it today. I'm going to take DC to nursery and go to my mums.

I know he's a cheating lying bastard, although he hasn't actually done anything apart from chat to this woman. She's his oldest friend, I thought their love was as friends but it turns out he's realised it's not.

I woke up crying again.. When will this stop? I feel weak and useless. I'm dreading the weekend knowing they'll be together while I'm here crying. How can I cope with that?

Alchemist I'm glad you had support, I think I remember you from when I was trying to leave exP and i read every thread about relationships.

Sorry to hear that starting, I hope you can stay strong and be happy without him. It's really hard wheb you love someone

Why don't you go to work? No point wasting a day's leave over him. It's nearly the weekend & earning money will help you have a better weekend.

I can't face it East, it's a close knot group and I won't be able to do it

Give yourself a safe place to cry it out. As much as I try, I can't hold it in right now (I do try really hard around the kids and have only managed a few times as it wouldn't be good for them) Go to your mums and let her make you a cuppa, give lots of hugs and a full box of tissues. Let it out. Because it needs to come out and everyone says better to let it all out now in the early days and that makes it easier in the long run. I'm not sure myself, but certainly am doing my part to let it out!
Give yourself the time to feel the pain and in time, hopefully we can commit a time and place to the crying and get on with things in the meantime, but it's all so raw yet.

I think he has totally used you. He has been a cocklodger in the truest sense. To move in in less than 7 weeks because he needed somewhere to go and then almost immediately move out again because he's met someone else? WTAF?

I'm only 21, I feel young and silly

Very young yes, maybe not silly but certainly misguided and naive. You cannot move a man in after a few weeks when you have children my love, you really can't. I know it's tough being lonely and coping on your own but clutching at straws and referring to a guy as your 'DP' after only a few weeks is madness, and damaging for all of you.

Please don't do this to yourself and your children. Certain types of men can sniff out a needy, vulnerable woman a mile off, and will take advantage relentlessly if you let them. At leaf he's being honest with you, which is better than the alternative of sticking around out of convenience while shagging someone else.

You've rid yourself of one abusive man and survived to tell the tale, so you can TOTALLY do this. hold your head up, let him go without a fuss, stay strong now and get keep your little family strong, just the three of you for a while. Don't beg this man or wish for him to change his mind - if he does it will only be temporary. You really don't need him, you have everything you need right there already, in your children and in yourself.

leaf? Least

And I really hope you've been using contraception.

My nan is here now, she knows and I've cried on her. Over never cried on anyone before but I can't hold it in.

I know it was stupid, I trusted him because he's an old friend I've known him years. The DC have always known him too so I thought it was perfect

Luckily I love being on my own, so that's not a problem. We have a great time just the 3 of us so I know we will be ok if I can just pull myself together.

The girl he met is an old friend of his, they were always in contact but he thought he was over her apparently. Why would he come here if he wasn't sure? I hate him for it.

I am on contraception yes, I don't want more babies for a long time.

If he is an old friend, does he know you've just got out of an abusive relationship? I'm afraid I don't think this man was a true friend, at all.

A decent man, one worth crying over, would never have moved in so quickly. It's not fair on any of you. I think you will find, with distance, that it wasn't him you loved but the idea of making your family 'right,' but your children only need you, they don't need a temporary dad looking to save on his rent. Get some counselling and establish boundaries. You are only 21, there are so many more decent people out there that you've yet to meet. Cry on your nan or your mum if you need to, don't be ashamed of having felt something for someone. Be kind to yourself.

I'm not prying about what type of protection you used but may it be wise to be tested for STI? Sorry, I know that's not what you want to think about.

He did know yes he helped me talk about it all. ExP wasn't awful just severely depressed, right now I'm even thinking about him. I don't Even like him but I want him here, to comfort me.
I've got the implant, how would I even get an sti test? I know he was tested before we were together after his last partner. Or so he said anyway.. I can't trust him can I?

I feel so useless. I keep askin him what's goin on in the hope that he's change his mind, how pathetic is that? I've never been this low, even as a victim of abuse I was stronger than this.

It's a deep down fear of being without a man that is driving this. It could almost be any man, so long as you have one.

You need to realise just how young you are, and just how unimportant being in a relationship is at the moment, in the context of everything else.

Don't place such a high value of being in a relationship. It doesn't define you or validate you. Learning not to crave one is the best way to finding the right one, eventually.

on, not of.

in sorry honey.
Its better you found out now than him do this to you even later down the line, which he would. Hes a swine and he got under your defences. Cry, and be gentle for yourself for a few days if you can but stop asking him to stay. Hes not someone you need. hes treated you like shit very early in

Please ask him to leave. Painful as that is it will help you cope better as you will not be looking at him, talking to him and hoping he changes his mind.

He is a selfish shit to be doing this to you and not have left.

Sound like he needed a place to crash for a couple of months and you are still letting.

No matter how much the next bloke needs a place to crash please don't rescue them and move then straight in with you.

I know what you mean. I'm good on my own though, really. After ExP left I was so glad to be on my own and have a happy life that I didn't want another relationship. Until he contacted me again and I couldn't stay away. He wasn't just a guy I met, he's the DC godfather, an old friend and someone I trusted.

I feel used and strung along. He was writing little love notes 2 days ago, as now this. I can't even get my head around it

Can you use the knowledge that he has switched positions so quickly to help you move on? He isn't worthy of you, someone so fickle doesn't deserve to live in the loving family home you've created for your children.

It does help a bit, yes. I really hate him, he's hurt me so much. I never cried this much over ExP, we were together 5 years.

I'm going to talk to him now, wish me luck.

We talked. He's still leaving, but he said it's because of our issues and not his friend. I cried a lot and we said goodbye.

This hurts too much, I can't do it.

Of course you can. He's only been there a few weeks. Come on now.

I've never been in this much pain. I can't eat or sleep and I can't gave ringing work.

face*
thanks for your support, it helps so much.