feelings on porn

[lollypop77]

Just wanted other peoples opinions on if they are ok with there partners/husbands watching porn regular ..do you get worried or wonder why they have the need to ??

I sometimes find porn debates completely mind boggling.

No offence placid and I am in no way taking the piss, but to me your dh sums up all that is wrong about porn and rights etc.

My interpretation of the situation -

' I'm married to a lovely woman and happy with our sex life etc, but I have a fetish for long toes and my wife doesn't have them. I need / have the right to get off on women with long toes and therefore I will be looking them up to wank over......as is my right

I wouldn't like anyone to have any real problems............

I have made my peace with my toes.
I get off on muscle bound chests rather than the hairy man boobs I have had to put up with for 17 years!!

But we still love each other.

Bit of a poor copy here Seb.

Oops, hcdocu.blogspot.co.uk/

Am I missing possible other options?
PROHIBITION (ban it, destroy it, stop its production and distribution) which is what seems to work in Islamic countries)

ABSTINENCE (We can't ban open toed sandals but don't you DARE let me catch you looking at them)

SATISFACTORY PROOF OF CONSENT (All parties involved can be proved to have given their irrevocable consent willingly and well being of sound mind as mature adults with the option of declining consent without any kind of emotional or physical or financial penalty)

Any other possible solutions to the thorny porny problem?

Placid

Various things become more or less socially unacceptable (ie they are abstained from and disdained) before they become illegal or indeed without them becoming illegal. Fox hunting and eating horse are a couple of examples I can think of.

Btw, there's no such thing as irrevocable consent - that's an oxymoron.

ABlandAndDeadlyCourtesy
You should read Edward VIII's Instrument of Abdication.

There's no such thing as irrevocable consent to a sexual act.

I thought that was clear from the context.

Sorry Edward VIII's Instrument of Abdication refers to "irrevocable determination" (rather than consent).This does stand up to legal challenge. Which is good news for Charles, William and George. Although he (Edward) didn't have any children anyway

I am also surprised that some people claim to need legislation to make them stop watching porn.

I do understand that it COULD be abuse/rape.

If you know that the women you are watching might not have consented, why watch?

I find it really hard to believe that people who claim to care actually do, when they continue to choose to watch it knowing for a fact that they have no way to verify her consent. How is that caring?

But I DO care and would do all in my power to ensure that it was not.

What do you do then to check? What do you have in your power to ensure that it's not abuse/rape? Nothing. That's the answer I suspect. You do nothing. Sweet FA.

And then you try to justify it instead of admitting, yeah, you do know that they might be being abused/raped but because their is no proof either way, no legislation against it and lots of other people do it, you're going to carry on. And if you get your jollies watching a woman being raped, well hey, what can you do about it?

Meerka it is heartwarming to see you are now thinking about this with a more open mind and encouraging your dh to think about it too. Once you realise what you/he are really watching or risking watching, it is harder to just ignore it. You/he are more likely to start being disgusted at the abuse of women rather than turned on (hopefully).

If one in five/ten/fifty horror movie actually involved someone dying or being maimed, would you require legislation to stop you going to the cinema?

So if not irrevocable can we determine, prove and record consent given freely? In a way that would satisfy Fairnuff that every foot model wasn't being raped?

Rape is penetration with a penis; of course a foot model is not being raped.

For someone who is demanding people seriously answer their question, you aren't acting very serious.

But we already have very clearly worded legislation against wilful murder, negligence and even health and safety at work. I have friends in the film industry and all he'll broke lose when Harrison Ford hurt himself on the set of the new Star Wars film.

Thank you ABADC!
So we're clear (finally) that not ALL viewing of porn is viewing or condoning rape. Could you explain that to Fairnuff?

Fairnuff I have NEVER watched a women being raped and never would. In fact the porn my DH and I enjoyed was two women giving oral to each other.

I would GENUINELY love to ensure that ANYTHING I and DH look at involves consenting, mature adults. Please make a PROPOSAL or suggestion to help ensure that this is the case?

If you watch PIV porn you might be watching rape.

You know this though.

You are pretending to not understand but I don't believe you, sorry. I think you do understand, in fact you have already clarified that you do. I know you're not going to change your mind. I know exactly where you stand on watching sex which might or might not be rape. You want to watch it and you want to justify it. Your personal choice is clear.

What is PIV?

I want to make ABSOLUTELY sure that anything anyone watches only involves mature adults doing things they enjoy harming no one else and be 100% certain that they HAVE given their consent.

I WANT TO CHECK AND MAKE SURE.

What would satisfy you that it was NOT rape?

PIV is penis in vagina.

Rape involves penetration by a penis.

A woman can sexually assault another man or woman but cannot rape them, under UK law (though US law etc may be different) unless she is conspiring to rape them i.e. arranging for their rape by a penis.

placid Have you every read anything to do with the sex industry?

This isn't an industry where people from every walk of life goes into.

It is dominated by -uneducated, young, poor backgrounds, sexually assaulted as children - women.

Who, if they weren't drug and alcoholic addicts to start with, they are by the end.

Just getting their consent will not make it morally and ethically OK IMO.

I WANT TO CHECK AND MAKE SURE

But, short of knowing the participants and knowing what was in their minds at the time of filming, you cannot make sure.

You might be comfortable with some level of doubt; why are you trying to insist that Fairenuff must also define a level of doubt for herself?

You might be comfortable with some level of doubt; why are you trying to insist that Fairenuff must also define a level of acceptable doubt for herself?

• was what I meant to say