Hi Guys I know I am a pain but I am really upset.

[Karenthetoadslayer]

Toad must have broken into the house when we were away and took a large and valuable cutlery set that my parents gave me. Previously I had the set in storage, but I took everything out of storage at the beginning of the year and when we went on holiday, I put valuables in a "secret place" in the house.

I just wanted to put everything back and realised the set is missing. He was after that and tried to take it, when he got evicted (I had covered the empty boxes and saw that these had been messed with).

I have no evidence that he took it, of course.

I wondered why he had taken the silver polish - now I know!

As an idea, could you work for the competition for a year, and then switch to your new plans? I realise this is not much of a solution because it's still his behaviour dictating yours, but I'd be sorely tempted by this...

I am considering it now; I was previously on the board of the company that he is now buying from.

Go back to that one instead then? And put his prices up?

Thinking about it. I shall speak to the CEO as soon as I have recovered from his bad deed of the day, as in today. I am still too stressed out to write about it. What an utter bastard.

Oh Karen.

Get it off your chest, sweetheart, and get some virtual hugs from your MN buddies. He is a toady twat.

Maybe later, for now I have to pull myself together and not appear upset in front of the children.

He just has to do something every single day.

Thank you all.

Maybe tell your solicitor (or his) that you will only read emails once a week?
At least you get some rest.

And have a hug.

Lweji Can you read my mind? This is what I have been thinking this morning, before things happened.

This afternoon I got an email from the builders who are undertaking warranty work that Toad approved last year when he was still in residence. Finally, this summer he instructed the builders and the work is almost finished. This afternoon I got an email from the builder that the work is now cancelled as per Toad's instructions. The pretext is that Toad needs to inspect it and would require access. He is not a building inspector. He does not need access. The work is guaranteed, and if anything, if he interferes with the work, he may invalidate the warranty. He is trying every angle to cause stress. There is a reason that he has no access. I am now having to establish whether or not he has to be allowed access. More costs and grief. He does everything to stop the house from getting sold.

After that, DS and I went to collect DD. DS suddenly came out with things, as he is in the habit of at the moment and asked, if I knew about his dad's 'list'. I said, which list? Toad's list of girlfriends that he told DS all about when he was just ten! Current and past. In detail. I said, I didn't mind DS talking about this, it doesn't upset me (true), but what an utter bastard to tell a young boy about such things. Toad forced one of his past girlfriends into an abortion.

So this evening I have two reasons to be furious with him.

Oh, that's quite some picture, isn't it.

This is just the sequel aftereight.

This is quite some photo, but I am a tad squeamish. Not quite the same as photos of toy toads or statues. I really appreciate the thought, I really do, and please don't be offended, but could you take it down, it's just very graphic. I am not really comfortable with Toads, not even dead ones.

Oh KB, what a bastard he is. He really doesn't give a shit about anyone except himself. Keep your knowledge of his list tucked up your sleeve; you never know when it might be helpful.

Jux CAFCASS may have a view on such disclosures to a young child.

Can you re-instruct the builders, Karen? Explain that he has no need to inspect etc. and they need to finish the job? Or did that not work?

karen so angry on your DSs behalf re the 'list', did he tell him about exgf's abortion? Now how would that make a child feel, I'm not sure but I bet it's not secure, loved and protected. Agreed that child protection would take a dim view. Stay strong, you've come so far. Sounds like he isn't doing himself any favours with all the smoking, and I seem to remember he is v overweight, maybe he will self-destruct?

How annoying about the building work but he's just doing it to annoy you by playing games. Is it the sort of thing that would stop the house being sold? Could you put an amount against the work as it will be covered by the warranty, then talk to estate agents anyway? If you're getting a lump sum rather than a percentage (I guess you don't know yet) it's not really your problem if he gets less for the house. But he knows it riles you!

Yikes to the photo. I actually think it may be a frog not a toad?

Sorry the photo offended you, have tried to remove it, but not sure how, please can someone advise?

aftereight have reported it for you - hopefully mnhq will delete.

Thanks Attention, I've reported it too but wondered if therr was a way to remove it quickly, manually

Thank you, aftereight and attention this has just spooked me a little last night but I am sure it will be removed at some point when MN get round to it. Don't stress yourself out over it, aftereight

It's the run up to Halloween after all.

Oh I see they have hidden it for now.

Dear Karen, I've followed your break away from the Toad ever since you posted 'DP told DS that I am going to die'. I hope that's on your very long list of cruel, damaging and inappropriate things he's said or done to the DC. Best wishes for your journey to freedom. Youre nearly there.

Karen keep going, you are so strong and better times are ahead.

A bad deed for every day, that about sums Toad up. Telling a 10 year old about his conquests, that's sick.

The German solicitor you spoke to at the end of last month sounded a great help.

I know you are clued up about where to access advice (not least from the MNers here) but another place might be www.childrenslegalcentre.com

KOKO!

Thank you fusspot. I am so glad I posted at the time, but it took all my courage.

Donkeys

How are you, Thatsnotmyname your DD must be at Uni now and how are your own plans progressing?

The trouble is that the DCs are still coming out with things and I am pleased that they do.

DD carefully picked up some Scalextrix cars the other day that I had firmly out into 'our' pile and she asked if she was allowed to touch them now, because her father would not ever let her play with them.

I don't know if Toad told DS about the abortion that he put a previous girlfriend through, I am not asking him. With DS, he will tell me things when he is ready, no point in asking. I am pleased that he has now got a space in the 'young survivors' programme.

Toad sent me ten emails today. At one point he sent one email four minutes after the previous email. He is just sick.

That's still breaching the non-contact order, isn't it, Karen? So I hope you're just forwarding them straight to your solicitor :) You don't even need to read them, tbh.