Hi Guys I know I am a pain but I am really upset.

[Karenthetoadslayer]

Toad must have broken into the house when we were away and took a large and valuable cutlery set that my parents gave me. Previously I had the set in storage, but I took everything out of storage at the beginning of the year and when we went on holiday, I put valuables in a "secret place" in the house.

I just wanted to put everything back and realised the set is missing. He was after that and tried to take it, when he got evicted (I had covered the empty boxes and saw that these had been messed with).

I have no evidence that he took it, of course.

I wondered why he had taken the silver polish - now I know!

God, he is the limit. You have so much patience. i would be finding it hard to stop myself firing off replies. But I have read enough threads here to know that the thing which really really drives these sorts bonkers is to not reply, remain level headed and keep your dignity and integrity. Which you are doing splendidly

Yes Jux, voice of reason, quite right. Just a one liner to his solicitor to please remind his client of his undertakings and absolutely keeping away from this email account all weekend. There was a reason I set up a different account for work as I knew Toad would not be able to control himself and I don't need the upset of finding his emails in my regular inbox.

WWK exactly! I asked my solicitor to not send anymore correspondence through on a Friday afternoon, because any questions and concerns will not be dealt with until Monday at the earliest and I am left worrying about it all weekend.

I am better at dealing with things on a Monday, especially as the children will be at school and will not see me going pale and flustered over his latest threats and rants. Last night for example, DS stayed up until past midnight, because he was so worried. I said something like, "oh dear there is another email from your father" and of course he knows what his father is like. DS was worried he may try and get I to the house again, as we suspected he was already pissed at 8 o'clock in the evening when he wrote the email. There is no other explanation for such a blatant breach again.

We are now coming to the end of the year and the end of the orders so Toad is definitely trying to get back. I have to consider to either make an urgent application to leave the jurisdiction with the children or face another round of family law proceedings.

Oh FFS!

Have you got a pros and cons list for each option? If we stay or if we go, etc.
Do you have an immediate preference?
What does ds favour?
DD?

I suppose there is no guarantee that the application to leave would be granted, but is it likely to be?

Can you do both, or are they mutually exclusive? With his latest antics, would there be a problem with getting an extension, while you turn your attention to the application to leave?

It's times like this that I really wish there was an easy way to get in touch with a hitman...

Thumb my barrister's words exactly!

Jux Plan A is hanging in there, achieve a settlement, get him to agree to extend the orders and live happily ever after.

Plan B: He will agree to nuffink, we go back to Court to apply again for non mols etc, make an application to get the court to sort out finances,if it can't be agreed and await the result.

Depending on the above, we will then decide whether to leave or stay. My chances of success for making an application to leave are good. The DCs would not want to stay if things continue to be difficult and they are quite excited to go to Germany.

Toad is totally deluded. He never had any sort of relationship with the children. They feared him. They are so much happier now, relaxed and confident. People come up to me all the time, some with tears in their eyes to comment on how brilliantly the DCs are now doing, compared to when Toad was here and they had become "mere shadows of themselves".
I hate him, I hate him, I hate him.

If the only only only post of yours I had ever read was that last one, KB, I would hate him with every fibre of my being too.

I have decided to open that bottle of champagne that he left me.

It is corked.

Christ Karen could that be a better metaphor for the Toad?! Looks good on the outside but inside is rotten to the core.

I hope you have something else to take the edge off, if you were near me you would be welcome to come and share mine!

That first sentence makes no grammatical sense at all, but I hope you get what I mean!

No, unfortunately not, he took the wine collection and according to his Form E he drank it all.

There is some leftover Aldi eggnog from Christmas, some Pineau des Charentes and some cognac somewhere.

Bogey not so good on the outside either, unfortunately. Not in the last ten years with 25 stone.

Eclectic collection of drinks, isn't it?

It would be a great pity if the eggnog gets spilled on some of them chattels - what you being a clumsy boozer an' all.

Weeellll - actually, some of those chattels that he's demanding (and why, pray, do you not get to demand the return of a proportion of what he took?) could accidentally suffer from a roof leakage exactly above where you were storing them...

Corked champagne is Not Good. :( Not sure I'd trust the egg nog either - I know the cream liqueurs can go off in a really unpleasant fashion, I expect the egg nog could go the same way. Brandy though - never an issue with brandy.

My conclusion exactly, Thumb although the eggnog was kept in the fridge and I took my chances on the eggnog to concoct one of my favourite alpine hot drinks (hot milk with a splash of eggnog or two). Toad finds it disgusting, and it may be is, but most regional things usually have an acquired taste that is only palatable to those who grew up with them. These days this would be completely unthinkable, but we were actually given that as children on skiing trips when we had lunch in Schihütten. Oh FFS, now I am homesick too!

I haven't been skiing in ages now, well exactly for almost 16 years, due to Toad of course being a non skier. I said a few years ago, that I would quite like to teach the DCs, given that I am a fully qualified instructor, but guess what the answer was? Or rather the tirade.

If only I could land a great job then I could just kick him up the arse and all this pandemonium would hopefully stop. The main reason for his anger is that we think we should have a fair share of the family assets.

I still love the image of the money Toad!

- although it gets a bit gory!

Lovely Thumb halloween is approaching!

Mediation cancelled by the mediator. Toad lied about his intentions regarding the child mediation. In his rage, he got carried away and admitted in writing he would take me to court, should the children not say what he wanted to hear.

This was not agreed. Child consultation was based on the assumption that no court action would follow, so the children would not be interviewed twice.

In the end, after he saw through Toad's actions, the mediator did not support Toad anymore. It took him a while though.

Phew! He is really digging himself into a deeper and deeper hole, isn't he. Thank god for some clear headedness on the part of the mediator, finally.

Well done Karen - a tough thing to experience, but again you've managed to cope with it. I salute you!

As expected, a prompt letter from Toad's solicitor blaming me for the collapse in mediation. Dear Solicitor, I have it all in writing. I bet you have not seen the emails that I am going to send you shortly. Not so shortly, after the weekend. Toad can stew for a while.

He does not understand why there is a breakdown in trust.

His client had been evicted from the family home and his solicitor does not understand why there is a breakdown in trust.

I am grateful to the mediator that he copied Toad's correspondence to me.

Oh thank God the mediator "came good" in the end! I suppose it would be too much to hope that he apologised for his own behaviour though, eh?

Dear Lord. Well the pompous windbag is going to burst his own bubble the way he's going, just let him stew more until he makes another cock up, eh?

Oops, getting too Aussie there! Two sentences ending in 'eh?' - sorry!

I could have just sat there and waited it out, with the knowledge of hindsight.

Marvellous thing, hindsight, but you need a time machine to really take advantage of it.

Bet the mediator is cringing in his boots whenever he remembers how badly he was taken in. Good, he'll be better for it.

It's quite lovely to see how everything is stacking up against the old Toad, though! He is really rather stupid, isn't he? Just hangs himself.