Hi Guys I know I am a pain but I am really upset.

[Karenthetoadslayer]

Toad must have broken into the house when we were away and took a large and valuable cutlery set that my parents gave me. Previously I had the set in storage, but I took everything out of storage at the beginning of the year and when we went on holiday, I put valuables in a "secret place" in the house.

I just wanted to put everything back and realised the set is missing. He was after that and tried to take it, when he got evicted (I had covered the empty boxes and saw that these had been messed with).

I have no evidence that he took it, of course.

I wondered why he had taken the silver polish - now I know!

Hurrah! Another smallish victory in the fight against Toad!

ACAS should be interesting. Shame you're not a Director but I'm sure you have plenty of evidence to show how much input you had in the company. And I do like the idea that you should get redundancy pay out for every time he's sent you the letter! He's only doing it to stick pins in you, you know.

This and another incident this week clearly show that things can be dealt with without fuss, nobody needs to shout, nobody needs to be shouted at and things are getting done.

Ahh, yes it took me a while to get it when I first read it but it does make sense eventually!

ACAS were fantastic when H was made redundant. The company that he worked for when into administration (and the same directors opened the same company up with a slightly different name, thus writing off millions in debt, the next day Rileys American Pool and Snooker if anyone is interested!), and we had to claim his severence, back pay and holiday pay from the Insolvency Service who were also fantastic.

I dont know how you can prove you were a partner though if you didnt sign anything and I would bet that he has "lost" any paperwork.

Oh sorry, Bogey I was comparing 'before' and 'after' Toad. Whatever happened, it always involved drama, shouting, blaming, I was frightened out of my mind and blamed myself for everything. So this would have been my fault.

He did try and blame me by writing that this was the branch the swing used to be on . It wasn't. Plus the swing got taken down at least 4 years ago. I still checked my photos of the garden to be sure.

I made a start and logged my claim with ACAS as I consider the redundancy purely an action of spite. So I am going to take things from there. Feeling better now.

Toad is challenging his luck - he wants to pop over to look at the garage doors that need replacing. 'Oh yes, any time, dear, the springs in both doors are broken and if you open the garage doors, the doors will fall straight on your head. Do enter from the outside only. As before.'

For God's sake! He's found his angle now. So what's next -

The toilet handle is going to drop off.

The kitchen tap is going to develop a drip.
The garden needs pruning.

Well, he might as well move back in, thinking about it. It'll be easier all round!

I think not.

www.rightsofwomen.org.uk/

Just reply "No".

end of.

And if necessary, sell as it is, providing builders estimates for the repairs.

WWK yes to all of the above, actually.

He has also advised me not to use the 'dangerous' pressure washer and he would come round and do that for me.

I politely decline 'thank you, but no thank you'.

And in your head, you ask"Am I being unreasonable?" I bet.

YANBU!

Do tell him to come in and use the pressure washer on him?

I am completely hysterical at the moment about the situation, but surprisingly detached. 'Yes Toad, we've heard it all before, some more promises, some more apologies whatever it takes'.

He has got to be joking.

Lweji He has to survive the garage doors collapsing on him first, then he will step on the mouldy decking with the tree looming over him, slip over and the pressure washer will already be switched on. I have watched far too much Tom and Jerry with the DCs

I just accidentally did a Toad impression in front of the decorator without even realising. I am going crazy. The chap just stared at me and said 'no wonder that you are splitting up with him if he sounded like that'.

Ooo!
Do you mean you accidentally spoke like he would without thinking, and then had to explain; or you said "this is what my H would have said..." so he knew up front that it was Toad, not you?

Is there any reason why communication is not going entirely through solicitors at this point? Particularly as he's got a non-molestation order...

Thumb the latter, phew. I have not yet reached the degree of madness where I would speak like him without realising. I started with, if ... My H would ask ... And then automatically started the impression. Still, omg.

Yes, Twinkle it's too expensive to exchange practical details about the sale of the house via the solicitors.

I can imagine, particularly with the level of pointless communication from him...

Exactly - and having to respond to all of that and having to pay for it.

But it is very exhausting having to write to him, being polite, staying neutral, taking it all seriously.

Once I'm done with this, I can do anything.

He is just trying to beat me down, wear me out.

The good thing is that DD is definitely becoming a less fussy eater. She used to hate leek and potato soup and now she loves it. Skintober in full swing here too, WWK.

I got a whole load of vouchers through the post today from Uncle Tesco's and was excited 'bout that. It's not even Skintyuletime either.

Never mind. Does entitle me £2 off a bottle of gin...so it's not all bad!

DD was super excited when we got our 'posh' Sainsbury's delivery with £20 off and loads of offers.

Heating not working, unfortunately. I knew it. We'll get some more halogen heaters, they work amazingly well and will hopefully cost a fraction of the central heating.

We have also swapped clothes around with DD profiteering once again. She is currently wearing my Hush pjs and has already acquired my fleece jumper in lieu of a dressing gown.

We are coping. That's the main thing. And we are having fun.

"We are coping. That's the main thing. And we are having fun."

And that's not only fantastic, it just shows that this is absolutely the right thing for all of you - and congratulations on managing to keep having fun in amongst the tribulations that Toad is trying to cause you. x

It is amazing the pleasure that can be gained from small things, isn't it KB? There are people, and circumstances which will suck all the joy and fun out of anything, but when those people are not there, or the circumstances change (or both), then the joy in small things resurfaces. Then, then you know that big things are nice but not necessary, and that the small things which matter are enough for a lifetime and that no lifetime will be enough without them.