The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Getting Ready For The Golden Sights Of Autumn In Search Of Sobriety.

[Mouseface]

Hello everyone, I'm Mouse :) and this is the Bus I've been on a while now!

It's filled with a variety of drinkers. Those that do, those that don't, and those who are desperate to STOP but hide it, or embrace it and get the help they NEED.

'Help' in whatever form works for them, your friend or you. Be it AA, a Local Community Alcohol Counselling Group, your GP, your family/friends, this thread or even a combination of all of the above!

You have to want to stop drinking more than wanting to breathe.

I know that right now, that may sound like a ridiculous goal.

They got sober, One Day At A Time then came here during the process to chat about it, discuss their feelings, but more than anything else, their experiences HELPED OTHERS TO BELIEVE that they too could get dry.

They might not get dry and stay dry, sometimes they'll be lying about their consumption, fooling themselves as well as others

BUT when the posters do get dry for good, come back and post to help others with their tricks of the trade or just to say 'I did it!!' my heart jumps for joy because that person, poster, Brave Babe has gone through hell and back, lived to tell the tale and now wants to share that with the rest of the Bus to see if one simple trick or technique will put them on the track to recovery, sobriety, to the life that they want to lead :)

There's two saying that have appeared to stick with us -

1. • The Vulnerable Need Our Support, Not Our Judgement
2. • Alcohol Fosters Inertia

We all have our own reasons for starting to drink 'too much', we all have an excuse don't we.... we all have a "but....."

Well, as I say to Nemo (who you will get to hear about ) - goats butt!

And for those of you who want to know a bit more -

HERE IS THE MOST RECENT THREAD

AND THIS IS WHERE IT ALL BEGAN, OVER FOUR YEARS AGO!!!

See you soon x

Thank you. I can't believe I was daft enough to post in AIBU - I usually steer well clear of there (with good reason as it turns out)

No idea why I got so angry and upset.

Joey I don't know whether you post under different names..... so not going looking....

But, we are so, so, so lucky here. We are kind and supportive and helpful. We're maybe a bit cliquey (or 'quichey' as mn quiches would say ), yet we try still to be open to anyone who posts and to welcome them (although some might easily feel overwhelmed by the madness). Very. very rarely there are posters who get told to piss-off - usually for posting anti-AA links - but on here were not searching everyone's back story or fighting or bickering.

That is really great for us, but it does give the illusion of mn being a safe and supportive place. Well..... venture into chat, AIBU and many other topics and the abuse people get for their spelling or grammar, never mind their political views, is utterly appalling - rude, horrid, Bullying , hectoring... the worst demonstration of sisterhood

I lurk often on other threads, and I post infrequently. As you can imagine I am a voice of reason and peace, but as a consequence I have been horribly criticised on some threads, have been accused of trying to be a 'cool wife' (when secretly I must be being abused ). I have read responses to thing I have posted and I can literally feel my face flaming with anger and shame and god knows what other emotions.....

...sometimes I've deleted myself from mn as a consequence

However. This thread always entices me back. It supports me gently, encourages me strongly, rebukes kindly, and accepts wholeheartedly. It provides laughter, heartache, weird Scottish language, and above all a welcoming and accepting community.

joey whatever you were posting about and whatever response you got, please come back to the warmth and comfort of our fold. 'courie doon' (as wry might say. And don't let any other mean itches drive you to drink xxx

god I want to cry again

they deleted my thread (which was the right thing to do) but it means I couldn't even defend myself)

Joey, I'm sorry you got savaged. I'm fairly prolific under my 'everday' MN name, but AIBU is one place I won't start a thread. I read what you had to say: I understand completely why you felt the way you did, and the bad reaction you got seemed to centre around technicalities rather than your point. You don't need AIBU's validation, and to be frank, I don't know that it would ever validate anybody, not even if you posted that the sky was blue.

I spent a lot of this morning in full Fight or Flight mode because of a scrap with another poster in Chat. Ridiculous really.

Tomorrow this won't matter nearly as much, I promise. Look after yourself. Nice cup of something soothing perhaps

I half wrote a post for that thread, Joey, then a friend arrived. Came back to finish it and in the hiatus, they've deleted the thread. I think that was a classic example of AIBU - people piling in to give you a kicking, even after you'd explained why you feel strongly about it and disclosed such personal information. Some people are just arses.

Just try to keep in mind that on every thread that 'goes a certain way', there are lots of posters who are reading and thinking the opposite, but are worried that if they post, they'll get a kicking too. There were people on there defending your corner, and lots of lurkers will have agreed with them!

I'm Mia, btw, for anyone who might remember me from a few years back.

And Venus, whenever I see your name on a thread, my ears prick up (so to speak) because I know I'll see your customary wisdom, kindness and good sense. I'm sure I'm not the only on.

mia

and joey go back and look at what I posted above.... I could only say the same again and again and again. There is only one change I would make....

..... when I posted "And don't let any other mean itches drive you to drink"

I intended to say bitches rather than itches

And to reiterate....

This thread supports me gently, encourages me strongly, rebukes kindly, and accepts wholeheartedly. It provides laughter, heartache, weird Scottish language, and above all a welcoming and accepting community.

We are fab

Oh I don't know so much venus... quite often it's the mean itches which drive me to drink.

This thread supports me gently, encourages me strongly, rebukes kindly, and accepts wholeheartedly. It provides laughter, heartache, weird Scottish language, and above all a welcoming and accepting community.

this.

joey are you ok sweets?

Oh thank you all, you lovely, lovely people. You make me continue to have faith in mumsnet. I'm okay now, at home with a cup of tea and a bar of chocolate.

It was kinda scary the way my emotions took over. I think alcohol /seroxat numbs the feelings, and usually I don't get too emotional about stuff. But sometimes it breaks through - and every stress that has been building up for years comes piling out! I still feel a bit sick and tearful, but I'm okay.

mia I knew that was you! Did you have 'crab' in a previous username, because I definitely recognised you? Welcome back lovely, are you back on board or just catching a lift somewhere?

joey I sent you a pm and the last paragraph got completely randomised - must be an mn glitch - with half words, half sentences, everything jumbled up. Weird!

venus I didn't want to be rude and say "what the hell are you talking about? This makes NO sense" ! And even though I didn't understand the meaning, I got the gist which was "love and peace and compassion and chocolate" - am I right?

Joey yes I've been variations on a crabby theme for a long time now.

I come and lurk here from time to time to see what you're all up to. I'm lurking more at the mo because I'm doing a Start Anew September which involves me not drinking at all for 2 weeks, then red wine in moderation at weekends only. So that'll be 19 alcohol-free days (not that I'm counting or anything ). I happened to be reading and your cry of distress brought me out of my lurking place.

Glad you're feeling better now x

Hi Joey,

i was about to wade in on your behalf (had to go out for a meeting) but the thread was deleted when I got back. Very unnecessary I thought. I understood what you were saying, it was a really unsavoury and horrible way to describe someone. You didn't deserve the reaction you got in any way, shape or form. Recover on our lovely bus ((hugs)) from me. (Has bought out my inner tigress ''Hey bches!! Not one of our babes - now BACK OFF!)

Hi all other babes has reverted back to self now xxx

lurking and dashing out eh - how appropriately crabby of you

oh bloody hell, the sodding Duchess of Cambridge is expecting another one.

Just what I needed: a national media pregnancy frenzy to go with my FB feed of effortless instant pregnancies, scan pics and belly selfies. Because I don't already feel like enough of a defective pariah.

Some days it feels like the world's just taking the piss.

joey didn't read all of the thread,but you was quite right. There are some very unpleasant posters on mn,which I loathe,they just leave me feeling very cold.I'm one of those posters who don't respond on aibu because it so often ends in a bun fight,vile.

As was said upthread,there will be many people who agree with you but just don't want to engage with the 'itches' .

joey I'm going to crochet you one of my hats and blankets to snuggle under on the bus. They are wonky and full of holes but come with love. Now which blend of clashing colours would you prefer?

baby can you check in please?

ma life sounds tough- Would you like a hug or a wonky hat?

mia I remember you! You took incredible photos of nature and stuff! Awesome.

Dragonflies.

See, I've been paying attention.

I didn't see your thread joey but I'm glad you came straight here for support. That's what this bus is all about. Rest, recovery, recuperation, restoration, rebalance, rebuild, relax, ravish opal fruits, ruffle Spirits fur, run around swinging Barrie and, er, yeah well, generally a safe place.

Sort of like a non-alcoholic Cheers

I'm very touched that some of you remember me. You've brightened up my day!

phrase just following on from yesterday's conversation about moderating at home; what I do is only have in the house my maximum limit of what I can drink in one evening (and at the moment my target is once a week)

So I usually only have two of those mini-bottles (18.5cl) which works out at half a bottle of wine. If for whatever reason, I have the wine but don't want to drink it, I've been known to leave it in the car to avoid temptation

If I have the opportunity, I will buy two of the slightly bigger bottles (25cl) this works out at 2/3 of a bottle - my limit. In an emergency I get a whole bottle and allow DH one glass out of it, but that's not a great solution. It's about being in control, that's why being anywhere else I have to stay AF. But everyone has their own demons and ways of fighting them.

I'll have a wonky hat please.