The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Getting Ready For The Golden Sights Of Autumn In Search Of Sobriety.

[Mouseface]

Hello everyone, I'm Mouse :) and this is the Bus I've been on a while now!

It's filled with a variety of drinkers. Those that do, those that don't, and those who are desperate to STOP but hide it, or embrace it and get the help they NEED.

'Help' in whatever form works for them, your friend or you. Be it AA, a Local Community Alcohol Counselling Group, your GP, your family/friends, this thread or even a combination of all of the above!

You have to want to stop drinking more than wanting to breathe.

I know that right now, that may sound like a ridiculous goal.

They got sober, One Day At A Time then came here during the process to chat about it, discuss their feelings, but more than anything else, their experiences HELPED OTHERS TO BELIEVE that they too could get dry.

They might not get dry and stay dry, sometimes they'll be lying about their consumption, fooling themselves as well as others

BUT when the posters do get dry for good, come back and post to help others with their tricks of the trade or just to say 'I did it!!' my heart jumps for joy because that person, poster, Brave Babe has gone through hell and back, lived to tell the tale and now wants to share that with the rest of the Bus to see if one simple trick or technique will put them on the track to recovery, sobriety, to the life that they want to lead :)

There's two saying that have appeared to stick with us -

1. • The Vulnerable Need Our Support, Not Our Judgement
2. • Alcohol Fosters Inertia

We all have our own reasons for starting to drink 'too much', we all have an excuse don't we.... we all have a "but....."

Well, as I say to Nemo (who you will get to hear about ) - goats butt!

And for those of you who want to know a bit more -

HERE IS THE MOST RECENT THREAD

AND THIS IS WHERE IT ALL BEGAN, OVER FOUR YEARS AGO!!!

See you soon x

Big waves to everyone on the Bus!

Formal handshake to wry [no emoticon for this yet, sadly]. 'As soon as they are on the tv I'm compelled to watch them from start to finish': ah yes, I'm exactly the same with certain 80s films. God knows how many times I've seen Indiana Jones, Back to the Future, Ghostbusters, Wayne's World; I can't get enough of 'em

sigma, as I'm new here I'm afraid I don't know if you're a regular poster or new to the thread, but hello to you . My dad's been an alcoholic for about as long as I can remember. He was never violent and never failed to adequately care for me and my brother, but he'd drink every night, often heavily. I suspect I've inherited a genetic predisposition for alcoholism from him, and also that I must have imprinted that behaviour as a child. It's one of my fears that I'm heading down the same route. But I just keep reminding myself that I admitted before I even hit 30 that I had a problem with booze, which is half the battle won. My dad's making a change now, but until recently he'd deny he had any problem with alcohol or his health.

You're not turning into your dad, you're your own person with your own choices, and the strength to make the change you need

ma, I hope you don't mind me asking, but I don't know anything about what's going on for you. Is your dad ill? I'm very sorry. Whatever's happening, it sounds so difficult.

spanna, soc, hands off those green opal fruits. I can't believe there's competition for them. There's never competition for them. (And thanks for the encouragement span )

step, I see what you mean

So, I had a drink last night (a couple actually: 1 beer, 2 glasses wine). And I'm happy to announce that it was . . . rubbish.

I didn't get the usual feeling of release from it. I just felt dull and like my head was full of cotton wool. That was when the voice inside said 'Move on to something stronger, to get the buzz'. But I didn't, and I'm glad I didn't because there wouldn't have been any buzz, I'd just have hacked off a bit more of my self-esteem.

When I think about this I realise I've done this quite a few times: got more and more drunk on stronger and stronger drinks in search of that something.

I've loved the last week, and I'm going to do it again this week. If you will bear with me, I'd like to write a list of things that have made me happy these last few days

Phrase's List Of Great Things About The Last Week Of AF

1. I've slept really well
2. The pouches and shadows under my eyes have gone
3. I can look myself in the eye in the bathroom mirror in the morning
4. I'm cheerful. Cheerful! I have not been cheerful for quite some time.
5. I'm not being ratty with poor DH
6. I'm not too drunk to make love in the evenings
7. I could have a conversation with DH about his concerns over his parents' drinking without feeling like an enormous hypocrite
8. I can remember the plots of things we watch on TV in the evenings
9. I don't get stressed about having to drive after 6, because there is no drinking to be delayed by it

10. I haven't had to check the neighbours' garden is vacant before dumping Empty Bottles of Shame into the recycling (wincing at every clink) 11. I am not going to have to hide behind the curtains when the recycling men some to collect our bin in a week's time 12. More than anything else: I don't feel ashamed. When I wake up there's a lovely gap where the shame and fear used to be. Every day is a reprieve.

It's not been easy and there will be times when I'll fail. But here's to next week

phrase dad has dementia and lives alone. None of my siblings live nearby so it mostly falls to me. I also have major job worries at the moment which isn't helping. Just feeling a tad over stretched

ma

Purple Heron for you xx You will fly soon - when your wings are ready.

Love your list Phase (love lists in general to be honest) and it was just what I need. I particularly relate to 1,3,4,6 and 10.

I am on day 26 I think but these last few days I have been losing the focus and old vinegar tits has been in my ear making bargains. A birthday in a few weeks, look how well I have done, I have earned some drinking time so I completely relate to where you are at Spanna lovely I suspect know that one night will lead to every night pretty quickly which is the small voice way back in my head, currently getting lost.

So, thank you for the list. I would like to add that I love not being a slave to the wine each day, from the guilt and regret in the morning to the countdown on the afternoon.

Oh and Soc don't go!

Righto soc.

You are noo lovingly lashed to the driver's seat with 52.78m of industrial strength zinc oxide tape. Tha's going naewhere ma pal. It's round your eyebrows attaching your heid to the heidrest so if you attempt to escape you will be brow baldy. And naebody will lend you a pencil to draw them back on. So there.

Will be back in a bit to NC, off for a ride again, by this time next my arse may just be smaller than the horse's...

(Love ma's purple heron *venus!) xx

It's nice isn't it beaches and it just gets better and easier (mostly). I'm in bed sober on a Sunday night. It's bliss. I used to always be very wasted on a Sunday night. Sometimes I miss being very wasted, but don't miss anything else about it. xx

Lol wry
good night. Not that I can move right now.

Next year... Perhaps even next decade... Possibly even in my next life...

I am nae giving up my rowies I am nae giving up my rowies I am nae giving up my rowies

Night night soc, sweet dreams!

Let me know if you need the loo in the night! It could all get a bit untidy...

xx

Thanks Venus

Hello Babes Day 7 for me (although I have got a couple of small bottles for tonight, so tomorrow I'll be back to Day 1...)

Am actually feeling rather smug because last night at in-laws I didn't drink. I haven't had a drink with them for nearly 2 years (bar a couple of weddings and Christmas) and last night fancied some wine & wondered if after so long I would now be able to drink moderately and sensibly. I decided not to risk it and am SO glad - the evening would almost certainly have descended into me wishing there was more wine/getting irritated with MIL/feeling twitchy in case someone else was drinking more than their 'fair share'

So yeah, rather chuffed. And it confirms what I suspected - even if I can drink moderately at home, I can't do it when with other people. It's not a big loss though, is it? I wasn't enjoying it, it was always quite stressful, the whole keeping an eye on what everyone else was drinking (not to mention that I get so argumentative)

Sorry, that was long.

AND (I've thought of something else!) if I'd drunk last night, the next-day-cravings would have convinced me that the 2 mini-bottles in store for tonight wouldn't have been 'enough' and I'd have bought more. Bad situation totally averted, and it was all my decision!!

Okay I should get off my horse, pride comes before a fall etc and anyway wry and babyj would just laugh as I don't know the head end from the tail end.

But yeah, Smock of Smug to me, please (does it come in size large?)

Well done joey the smock of smug is yours while I wear the frock of failure.
Dh was in car crash today. 2 hours in A and E before we gave up and came home without seeing a doctor.
Dad has phone me half a dozen times to tell me his phone doesn't work...erm...his TV doesn't work, his radio is broken and the paralysis in his arms is getting worse! None of these things are true. I have phones sis in London who has power of attorney and told her to get up here. I can't do this anymore. I have at the most two months in employment in a job I love unless we win the contract we have tendered for. I need to focus 100% on work. As well as dad, mum has phoned asking me to arrange pick up for the cat and can I get her from the station on Monday and maybe take her to hospital on Wednesday for her MRI scan, and dd2 says can I drop off her trainers and her modem hasn't been delivered and she has no internet and sky are supposed to be doing it on Tuesday but the modem isn't there and Ds needs his PE kit and wants to know if dh is going to die because he's been in a car crash, and dd1 wonders if dn's flatmate can come for Christmas as she can't get home so is that OK and...and..and....
I am spread so very thin....

ma it's not the Frock of Failure, it's the Trousers of Trial and Tribulation. Honestly, with the kind of day you've had, anyone would turn to drink!

I wish you'd delegate some of this to other people and just look after YOU. Your dd is old enough to sort herself out (I mean usually you'd help out, but in times of stress, they should be helping you!) come on hen, you deserve it.

Flamin hell ma, you're a bit wafer thin. Your sister sore needs to take a turn and needs to do it now. Is she coming up? You are going to fall to bits and your family need to know you are not Stretch Armstrong, you don't automatically ping back to normal after a stressful day.

Would your Dd listen if you asked her to help you a bit? I hope you get a break soon ma, you sore need it. Xx

((hugs)) for ma deep breath and repeat after me.... NO I AM NOT ABLE TO DO THAT JUST NOW, and breathe. well dunno if I am happy or gutted today as I had a wee drink last night. gutted as it was day 16 but happy as I enjoyed a couple but did not go silly about it and drink the place dry. woke up ok this morning. Hoping that I can moderate myself enough to do this once in a while when the ww is really getting insistant but not start it every weekend or weekday like before. onward and upward.
Day 1

The WW well and truly got me last night. Man, weekends are so difficult. I'm glad you liked the list, beaches: looks like it's time to read back my own advice

I'm determined today, though. It WILL be day 1. It's a weekday, DH will not be drinking, I've got lemonade and lots to do.

Christ ma, I'm amazed you haven't imploded. To live with all of that and not climb inside a bottle every night . . . well, that's real strength of character.

step, yeah, that's what I'm hoping for.

I've really noticed, though, the last few times I've drunk, that the instant I say 'yes' in my head, whatever amount of alcohol I had in mind isn't enough.

Joey, I'm kind of the opposite way round to you: I can drink in moderation with others, and enjoy it, but when I drink at home it becomes unhealthy almost instantly. It awakes this monster in me that just wants more, more, more.

This is what I have to watch. The kitchen is where the WW hides, and weekends are when she puts the most effort it. Perhaps I need to start getting DH to cook on weekends, so I can just keep myself out of that room. Long boring afternoons + complicated dinners requiring hours of prep + DH drinking = WW.

ma how are you doing this morning? You remind me of my mum saying "I would have a nervous breakdown, but I don't have time"

I like wrys image of you as Stretch Armstrong! I hope your sister is able to support you more this week.

Day 2, I'm at work today so it was easy not to drink last night. I'm quite frustrated with myself that I give my best to work and waste my days off feeling below par (due to wine the night before).

Ma I really hope you get some help and support soon, you have far too much on your plate. Never mind drinking, I would have cracked by now

oh thank you all, you do make me laugh. Am wearing the trousers of trial and the Bra of Bravery and look very fetching.
I'm ok. Dh has muscular and soft tissue damage and will be off work this week so he can sort out dd2 and take mum to the hospital.
Ds has just texted to say he got 23 out of 25 for his science test.
And I got an entirely unexpected and verynaughty nice email from distracted chap.
I live to fight another day.....

Oh God give me hugs somebody please please please

I hate Mumsnet I love The Bus but oh god

What's the matter Joey?? I can give you a hug (you knew me under a different name on here, ages ago).
{{{{Joey}}}}

oh god just got in a row on AIBU (my own fault) and got so upset I burst into tears at work!! What an idiot I am!

I'll have to go and look it up now, and dive in to defend you.
AIBU is full of people who want to pick a fight - I think it's just a mechanism for venting frustrations for a lot of people. Don't let the bastards grind you down/wind you up!