Good afternoon all, I am on day 21. This is round about where I got a bit overconfident last time.
I have been riding again today, I needed some thinking time in the fresh air. WB told me he loves me again. I'm pretty certain it's because he feels me sliding away from him.
Little things I've noticed, which I was blind to before, is that he is incredibly mean. With money, affection, time. He called the other day to ask me out for tea, then asked if I was going to stand my hand. Odd thing for him to say, I just wonder if it was for the benefit of an audience. It's one thing he can't accuse me of, I always pay my way.
He repeated it so many times it set me on edge, just how is he portraying me to his colleagues? When he has called me from work before, it always feels like he is putting on a show, I am going to pull him up on it tonight. I have nothing to lose. The last time I went on one of his work's night outs, folk were a bit off with me. 
I am almost positive I am being painted as someone who makes his life a misery.
There is a plus in all of this, being AF has given me a clarity, I can't blame the alcohol for giving me a skewed perspective on things. But, and here is the biggie, it temporarily blotted out how shit everything was making me feel. I go off food when I am unhappy, and turn to alcohol.
ma I'm so pleased your DD is off flying on her own, you must be so, so proud of her! But I tell you something, my thistle heided lass, one day it will be you. And I tell you something, we will all be here, cheering you on and sticking sparkles on your wings. One day we will ma, you know it, I know it, we know it. xx
soc ach 
you know I forget myself when I start typing, I will try to rein in the Scottishness a wee bit, I keep referring to your list, it's been my 'go-to' of late, a reminder , a motivation and an arse kick. xx
spanna You okay? Thinking of you, hopefully you're taking it easy somewhere beautiful, and fluffing your wings up a bit. xx
phrase and pizza, I am also a closet lover of shite tv. Celeb Big Brother is my current chewing gum for the eys. Sorry I haven't formally said hello before now, my laptop is still playing up. I should be in town today buying another one, but I couldn't be chuffed with crowds today. I love First Wives Club, Steel Magnolias, etc, all films I have on DVD, but as soon as they are on the tv I'm compelled to watch them from start to finish. And pizza? You can do this. It's not about getting there on the first day, you need to find your feet, get a feel for your new surroundings, find your bearings. xx
Now then guggs, how are you today lass? One night is not a big deal, and you know that. Paint your wobbly bottom lip red and stand firm, next week is a milestone, but isn't it a great testament to you? Not being a mum, it never fails to impress me how people raise children, starting them off on their journey into being the person they will be. I don't know how you all do it! Have you anything nice planned for tomorrow? xx
little how are you today? Glad you and your DD had a nice day, how lovely, just to sit out in the garden and enjoy her birthday with you, xx
inde How did your impromptu coffee morning go? Did anyone have to drink out of a vase? 
Hope nobody wiped their noses on your curtains, xx
venus hope you are managing a bit of me time in between being Very Busy. Have you Monday afternoon off for a bit of R and R? xx
Righto. I am going to post this before it disappears into the ether. I'm still sitting in hairy jodhpurs, and I've got to say, my arse actually looks a little smaller. I lost 2kgs on holidays from all the walking about. I was pretty certain the massive breakfasts and frequent visits to the vans for chips and cheese were going to be my undoing, but no. Life is sweet. Thank god for Little and horseflesh. They and you lovely lot, will save me from sucking up to Saggy.
Just one thing to sort. I'm working on it. Hopefully I'll be able to check in later when he falls asleep.
To infinity and beyond..... xx