Thank you so so much everybody, you are all wonderful 
Solicitor, yes - she's nice but very prim and proper and so I'm not sure she has a full understanding of abuse. But I've already paid her stuff now and she's involved so I'm going to have to stay with her for now I think.
I'm just back from the Freedom Programme. Was good, I see what they mean about social services and avoiding if you can, but obviously only if you can.
H is well aware something's up. He was all mournful and sorrowful last night and asked if I was going to leave him to which I said no 
you're going to be the one leaving mate! we sat and watched the oscar pistorious doc last night actually! and h looked uncomfortable when Reevas mother talked about him talking to him on the phone because Reeva had called her, panicking because Oscar was driving like a maniac. I sat there with a stern face the whole way through.
I am so glad that was on. And it also works in my favour that I am out with his mates ex on Saturday.
I was up early with him this morning and dropped him to the station because he injured his knee at football last night - he used this as an opportunity to become controlling about the time I get up in the morning and that I should be up with him early every morning, making plans, writing lists blah blah blah.
I can do this everyone. I'm feeling strong.
I have decided I am going to start 'paving the way' to him receiving the papers - I know how to handle it - Sunday I'm going to tell him I'm very unhappy and there's nothing he can do to fix the past.
Then wham, papers on Monday morning.
Then once I know he has received them I will speak to him on the phone, tell him there's no future, tell him there's no point trying to persuade me otherwise, tell him not to come here for a few days and tell him I will have the front door locked and that if he turns up I will call the police because I do not trust him to be civilised.
I think I will tell the school too that only I am to collect them. I doubt he would turn up at their school because he is all about looking good but he might.
I will tell him that I only want to communicate by email in regards to the kids and that he should get himself a party room again and let me know when he will be collecting his stuff so that I know not to be in.
I will tell him don't even think about trying some oscar pistorious bullshit on me, we're better than that and you really don't want a domestic abuse charge against your name.
I can do this. I can do this - deep breaths 
!!