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Relationships

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Original poster

Do you speak to your DH during the day when he's at work?

111 replies

confusedmum2one · 21/09/2006 18:11

Sorry for the bizarre question.

DH leaves for work at 7am and usually gets home about 7.30pm. I don't have any contact with him during the day and when he gets in he usually says "I know you want to talk becuase you've just had baby chat all day but I want to relax and not talk because I've been talking all day".
He talks to me, but normally snippets pointing out things on the TV/football etc

He has an office job and mobile and email and I was wondering if you converse with your OH's whilst they're at work?

I'm starting to get a bit jealous/resent when he says "a girl at work did this at the weekend" or similar, makes me want to say "oh so you've got time to talk to her at work but not me". I know that's silly and of course you'll talk to the colleagues, I just think it'd be nice to get the odd phone call when he's at lunch or driving to a meeting?

Thanks

OP posts:

Finbar · 21/09/2006 18:12

don't worry - I never speak to DH at work - unless there's a problem!

Mum2FunkyDude · 21/09/2006 18:13

Yes, we phone each other...not everyday but most days...usually to share something FunkyDude did or just because. Not long conversations, 5min.

mazzystar · 21/09/2006 18:14

some days we do, some days we don't. usually only if we have jobs for each other to do!

but sometimes we even meet for lunch or a coffee!

BarefootJasnem · 21/09/2006 18:15

Oddly, I probably talk to dp more when he's at work than at home. We talk at least once a day while he is working

I guess it depends on their job, though. DP is self employed so he can stop and chat if he wants to

iota · 21/09/2006 18:15

I don't often speak to my dh when he's working, as a lot of it is client based. If I want to let him know something I will text him.

However, from ym working days, I do know that a lot of people do contact their other half a lot ( can't help overhearing a lot of stuff at work) One mum regularly used to ring her dh to get him to tell the kids off over the phone

beckybrastraps · 21/09/2006 18:15

No. Only speak to dh during the day if necessary, never just for a chat. But if he didn't want to talk to me when he got home I would be seriously annoyed. Is it just for a short while to unwind or all evening?

Gobbledigook · 21/09/2006 18:15

Yes I speak to dh - probably once or twice a day. Usually email as well. Boring stuff half the time such as 'on the way home can you pick up milk and bread' or 'can you get me a new bottle of foundation at lunchtime' (yes my dh is a 'saint' - sort of)

Must admit if I try to speak to him on the phone it never lasts long and I know he's distracted as people are in teh office telling him he has a client holding.

When he comes in at night we usually talk a lot while chilling out watching tv.

Alibaldi · 21/09/2006 18:17

The odd email or text, but only ring unless absolutely necessary. It's always been like this, even pre-kids.

nailpolish · 21/09/2006 18:17

dh is an it dude/geek/genius and has his own office

we chat on msn all day

hulababy · 21/09/2006 18:18

Most days I talk to DH at work, once or twice during the day. He leaves at just befor 8am and gets in at 6:30pm. We normally chat around mid morning - normally checking all was fine dropping DD off (he does it on way to work) or to check things don't need doing on way homes. Then he often phones before leaving work or when he thinks me and Dd will be in from school, to see how her day went or something like that.

iota · 21/09/2006 18:18

confusedmum - are you feeling isolated at home?
do you have much contact with other mums - does your dh know that you would appreciate a quick chat with him at lunchtime?

Blandmum · 21/09/2006 18:19

sometimes.

If he is flying or in a meeting he turns off his moble.

When he can answer it , he always says,

'Terribly important Squadron Leader, here.....what do you want'

Lizzylou · 21/09/2006 18:19

We speak on the phone a couple of times a day, for no more than a few minutes and I do sometimes get annoyed when he gets home and has no time to talk to me as he's tired.

Have you spoken to him about this?

Tutter · 21/09/2006 18:24

never. well, maybe he would if i had to take ds to the doctors or something similar.

once he's out of the door (often before then) he's switched into work mode. doesn't bother me in the slightest.

Greensleeves · 21/09/2006 18:30

Yes, we MSN all day , and send each other photos on our mobiles, and speak on the phone some lunchtimes.

Blu · 21/09/2006 18:34

Only to exchange e mails about who can be in on what evening - because we both work lots of evenings. Or if there is something specific - like now, house-buying shenanigans and DS's nits. OR urgent top gossip.
But not just for sweet chats. he did used to call me in the day when i was on maternity leave.

ScummyMummy · 21/09/2006 18:37

Yes- we seem to talk at least one or twice per day on the phone. And text a lot sometimes too.

DumbledoresGirl · 21/09/2006 18:40

My husband works similar hours to yours confusedmum, plus lots of nights away. I don't ring him to chat but I don't hesitate to ring him to ask something particular or to tell him something important. very very occasionally, he sends me an email - usually something daft circulating the office and we get into a short email conversation, but nothing significant - I might reply to the email and then get a reply form him the next day, usually one line!

Today I had fun. There was a cock up at the garage I took my car to and I needed to speak to dh urgently. He was out of the country and his mobile was broken. It took me an hour to get hold of his office and for them to give me his boss' mobile number so I could contact him and get him to get my dh to ring back. Somewhere along the line, I did think, shouldn't I just sort this out for myself, but I am so used to phoning with problems that I persisted.

CantSleepWontSleep · 21/09/2006 18:41

We 'speak' sometimes on msn or Skype during the day, then have a phone call for 10 mins or so each evening (he works abroad).

Scoobydooooo · 21/09/2006 18:43

Yes i do sometimes it's a couple of times today it's been about 7 times, it's only about 5 mins or less though so not long conversations but i like to talk to him

DumbledoresGirl · 21/09/2006 18:43

Personally, I wouldn't like my husband ringing me up every day for a lovey dovey chat. I used to work with a man who rang his wife every lunchtime and they sounded like they couldn't live without each other. I subsequently found out she was abusive towards him and he was terrified of her!

Original poster

confusedmum2one · 21/09/2006 18:45

thanks for your replies

Yes I do feel isolated, and he knows this, we live up North where he's from which is 500 miles from my family and friends (lived here for 2 yrs but I was working full time up until having our baby 8 months ago).

We're having other problems in our relationship (that's on a separate thread "please help, problems with DH").

I think he has lost patience for idle chit chat, such as what I did today, what the baby did - he finds it "mind numbingly boring" to talk about what I bought at the shops or what a hassle I had getting x, y or z etc.

His father is retired and says I should go and visit him if I need company. He thinks the world is my oyster as I'm home all day, although he looked after the baby for 4 hours on saturday and think he woke up to the fact that an 8 month old isn't like a newborn that sleeps all day.

I'll talk to him about this tonight and see if we can compromise somehow.

Thanks

OP posts:

JessaJam · 21/09/2006 18:48

Often BUT it is only to talk "business" such as "am I supposed to pick ds up from nursery this evening?" or "I will be home late" etc etc nothing in the way of "how are you?".

I get the same from DH sometimes, that he just wants to relax and not talk to me...so is talking to me not relaxing then?

kama · 21/09/2006 18:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

iota · 21/09/2006 18:49

good luck with your chat - being at home with a small baby is hard-going, especially if you are a long way from family and friends.

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