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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

ex just hit me

109 replies

4littleducks · 25/08/2014 21:49

I don't really know what to do.

Ex is the father to my two eldest DDs (19 and 16) We got together when. I was 14 had DD1 at 15 and married at 16. Ex would do nothing with the DCs and became emotionally towards the end. I left him 15 years ago.He refused any contact and maintenance payments were all over the place. He got back in touch when my DDs were young teens I have remarried and I have two other DCs. The eldest two call my DH dad. The DDs arrange to meet ex through Facebook and they refer to him as father. They see him about 4 times a year.

So the DDs had been out with him today. They said they would be back by 6 at 6 DD1 text me to say they were held up and they were going for food. I said fine DH went to work and I put the other DCs to bed.

Ex and the DDs turned up at 8:30 and DD1 looked nervous and DD2 had been crying. Ex was watching us from the top of the garden path. I asked DD2 what was wrong and the DDs told me that ex had asked about DH and DD1 had said that "dad would be in work" ex had shouted at her saying he was their only dad and DD1 had looked upset so DD2 said it wasn't their fault that DH was the only dad they knew for years. Ex had shouted at her saying she was a stupid girl and just for that he wouldn't pay for her to go through college. (Even though he isn't) I told her not to worry as me and DH were paying for college.

Ex started to walk towards us shouting saying that it didn't happen like that and it was my fault for letting the DDs call another man dad. I sent the DDs inside and told him to calm down as he was scaring the DCs. He kept saying that he fucking wasn't. Then my neighbour came out and asked if we were okay. Ex told him to fuck off and neighbour said he would call the police if ex carried on.

Ex punched me in the face and my head hit the corner of the door. Neighbour shouted and ran over to help and ex pushed him away and ran. Neighbour brought me inside and said he would call the police if I wanted I said no,And he left but said he would keep an eye out and when I was ready to go to A&E with DH he would come and watch the DCs. I calmed the DDs enough so that they have fallen asleep.

Now I am just waiting for DH to come home he won't be back for another 20 minutes at best and I am suddenly really worried about being alone and my head hurts and my DDs are scared and it feels like such a mess and I am hoping that typing all this will help calm me down.

OP posts:
Patrickstarisabadbellend · 25/08/2014 21:51

Have you called the police?

MushroomSoup · 25/08/2014 21:52

I'm here. I'm glad you are going to the hospital but I think you need to report this to the police. Keep strong xx

SweetErmengarde · 25/08/2014 21:53

I'm so sorry this has happened.

Please call the police. You and your family need to be protected from your ex. Can your DH leave work early to support you?

Littlefish · 25/08/2014 21:53

Please call the police and report this abusive man.

MilliCariad · 25/08/2014 21:53

You need to call the police and get this noted down. Im sure your lovely neighbour will bear witness to what happened But more importantly you need to go to hospital.

SuffolkNWhat · 25/08/2014 21:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SweetErmengarde · 25/08/2014 21:55

Sorry, just seen DH is due back in 20 minutes. Can your neighbout wait with you until he is here?

Corabell · 25/08/2014 21:55

Please call the police. You protected your daughters and now you need to make sure your ex is dealt with swiftly and surely.

You must get checked over in a an e too.

Sorry this has happened to you.

Guiltypleasures001 · 25/08/2014 21:55

I'm so sorry op but you really must call the police it could have been one of the girls instead of you. This is not a lesson they need to learn you must protect yourself and consequently them.

They need to know this is not acceptable also you will be putting your partner in a situation of wanting to stick up for you and you not allowing him. If he feels you won't deal with it he might then he is in the wrong.

So sorry op he's a bastard and does not deserve your protection I hope your head feels better soon Thanks

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 25/08/2014 21:55

Call the police and protect your DD's from ever having to endure that vile piece of work ever again. It is not ok to punch someone.

tribpot · 25/08/2014 21:55

Hospital and police. I'm surprised your neighbour hasn't already phoned since he was also assaulted, albeit less severely. Does your DH know what has happened? Is he hurrying home or are you just waiting for him to finish work at normal time?

You're safe for now, keep posting.

StoneTheFlamingCrows · 25/08/2014 21:55

Call the police and never let this man be alone with your children again.

sonjadog · 25/08/2014 21:55

Call the police. They exist for situations like this one.

NewEraNewMindset · 25/08/2014 21:56

Why didn't you call the police straight away? He sounds dangerous.

LineRunner · 25/08/2014 21:56

Please call the police. Please.

cabbagedinner · 25/08/2014 21:56

Report it to the police,At least it will be on file then
Flowers for you

YvyB · 25/08/2014 21:56

Sweetheart, phone the police. He assaulted you.

I think you need to do the sensible thing for having a bang on the head, too: tell someone, maybe your neighbour could be with you. Let your dh know so he can come and take you to be checked out.

Your ex has no more rights than a stranger on the street has to even dare to lay a finger on you. And you need to take your safety seriously. Please tell your neighbour you need help and phone your dh.

DameEdnasBridesmaid · 25/08/2014 21:56

You post on here instead of calling police?

BitterAndOnlySlightlyTwisted · 25/08/2014 21:56

Please report it to the police. You have a reliable and dispassionate witness. This man needs a chat with some police officers really, really badly.

FunkyBoldRibena · 25/08/2014 21:56

You need to call the police. I'm so sorry but you really do have to.

magoria · 25/08/2014 21:57

Agree with the others call the police. Show your DD that no man gets to treat women like this.

Borderterrierpuppy · 25/08/2014 21:58

Phone the police, you are in shock right now but you must call them.
So sorry this happened to you all, there is no excuse for what he did.

Original poster
4littleducks · 25/08/2014 21:58

DH is coming home he will be here in about 15 minutes.
I know I need to call the police but the DDs will be upset and if the police come they will all be woken up.

OP posts:
pictish · 25/08/2014 21:58

This man just assaulted you, and he needs to be reported to the police.
Outrageous behaviour...what a thug! Have him charged.

I know he is your dds father, but you ought to show them that it is never acceptable to be attacked like that.

I am so sorry, you must be very shocked.

SpringItOn · 25/08/2014 21:58

You poor thing, you do need to involve the police, for your DDs sake if not your own, he doesn't deserve your protection.

I hope you're ok and not in too much pain. Call 101, get it logged and tell them you're going to A&E shortly.

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