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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

ex just hit me

109 replies

4littleducks · 25/08/2014 21:49

I don't really know what to do.

Ex is the father to my two eldest DDs (19 and 16) We got together when. I was 14 had DD1 at 15 and married at 16. Ex would do nothing with the DCs and became emotionally towards the end. I left him 15 years ago.He refused any contact and maintenance payments were all over the place. He got back in touch when my DDs were young teens I have remarried and I have two other DCs. The eldest two call my DH dad. The DDs arrange to meet ex through Facebook and they refer to him as father. They see him about 4 times a year.

So the DDs had been out with him today. They said they would be back by 6 at 6 DD1 text me to say they were held up and they were going for food. I said fine DH went to work and I put the other DCs to bed.

Ex and the DDs turned up at 8:30 and DD1 looked nervous and DD2 had been crying. Ex was watching us from the top of the garden path. I asked DD2 what was wrong and the DDs told me that ex had asked about DH and DD1 had said that "dad would be in work" ex had shouted at her saying he was their only dad and DD1 had looked upset so DD2 said it wasn't their fault that DH was the only dad they knew for years. Ex had shouted at her saying she was a stupid girl and just for that he wouldn't pay for her to go through college. (Even though he isn't) I told her not to worry as me and DH were paying for college.

Ex started to walk towards us shouting saying that it didn't happen like that and it was my fault for letting the DDs call another man dad. I sent the DDs inside and told him to calm down as he was scaring the DCs. He kept saying that he fucking wasn't. Then my neighbour came out and asked if we were okay. Ex told him to fuck off and neighbour said he would call the police if ex carried on.

Ex punched me in the face and my head hit the corner of the door. Neighbour shouted and ran over to help and ex pushed him away and ran. Neighbour brought me inside and said he would call the police if I wanted I said no,And he left but said he would keep an eye out and when I was ready to go to A&E with DH he would come and watch the DCs. I calmed the DDs enough so that they have fallen asleep.

Now I am just waiting for DH to come home he won't be back for another 20 minutes at best and I am suddenly really worried about being alone and my head hurts and my DDs are scared and it feels like such a mess and I am hoping that typing all this will help calm me down.

OP posts:

LatteLoverLovesLattes · 26/08/2014 23:41

castle - you see, the girls have chosen for themselves not to see him, without any pressure. It does no good to force them to stop contact with a parent, in the long run it would only make them hostile to the OP and her DH. Loss of contact has to be their choice at their age. Yes you can guide them and explain to them why you think it would be better not to - but no, not forcing them. They have to know it's their decision.

LatteLoverLovesLattes · 26/08/2014 23:45

ducks I am glad you are pressing charges and I hope they throw the book at him - and it hits him square in the nose! Spineless wanker deserves the best they can throw at him.

Abilly72 · 26/08/2014 23:51

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 27/08/2014 00:22

RTFT abilly, op has been to the police and A&E and is pressing charges against the ex.

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 27/08/2014 00:23

And OP was in shock -not 'weak'

fortyplus · 27/08/2014 00:32

Abilly72 I've reported your post as it's so offensive given that the op was the victim of such a serious assault. And you'd do well to read threads properly so that you know the full facts before posting.

BlackeyedSusan · 27/08/2014 02:29

hmm yeah, one tends to be a bit slow off the uptake when one has had their brain rattled about inside their skull by some idiot who has punched them in the face hard enough to break a nose and cut open the back of a head. having one's brain bounced of the inside of one's skull does make thinking a bit fuzzy... brains are not designed the be shaken up like that.

Ducks you have done brilliantly. hope the concussion/shock/upset wears off soon. Ignore the poster a few above!

CogitoErgoSometimes · 27/08/2014 07:28

I hope you're OK today OP and feeling a little better. I think your DDs sound like very loyal, caring, sensible young women and I'm sorry you've all had such a horrible experience. I hope they don't feel they were responsible for triggering his aggression and I'm glad they've decided to give him a wide berth. You've clearly done a terrific job raising them all this time and you must be very proud of them.

captainmummy · 27/08/2014 08:04

Op, well done for pressing charges; who does he think he is, assaulting you like that

BTW, when I split from ex, my youngest was 11. My solicitor told me that he was old enough to 'vote with his feet' as to whether he wanted to see ex. Your dds are well old enough to tell him to ftfo.

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