twatty things I don't miss about my ex...

[confusedNC]

Some of us need reminding what we're not missing and also need cheering up. So I'll start...

1. Making his feckin packed lunch every day, even when I'd been up all night with ds because it was 'the least I could do' apparently. Oh and having to think of inventive healthy options cos you were overweight but then you did have a car full of choc wrappers and crisp packets.

Insert your own here.....

"Only believing something I said if I had corroborating evidence, preferably a witness that he respected."

This! Oh, so much this! But not an ExP for me, it's my DM who does this.

Ooh! Thank you FYC! You just reminded me of one.

Constantly referring to his equipment as "teeny tiny penis", so I'd have to deny it and reassure him.

It was slightly less than the average [of what I've seen], not huge but not tiny, and NOT something about which I want to keep having to reassure somebody.

His stupid jokes,

Annoying laugh,

Total ineptness at sex,

Incessant whining,

Bed hogging,

skiddy pants,

Him hating the fact whenever he got beaten by a woman,

His bitching about his adoptive parents.

at the singing off the menu.

Mine are similar to that - it's the little things that really get to one.

• The way he'd just shut down/stonewall when he was tired. He once said on holiday "I can't be bothered to talk at all." Just wanted to be treated like a little boy.

• The way he'd do little things to call attention to himself in public? Like if there was a very attractive waitress/barmaid I've had (this is from different men, I hope my taste has improved)...

Squealing to make them jump.

Talking a bit "too long" or giving them TMI about themselves.

Making elaborate conversation.

Being overly servile (to the server ).

OR flying into a rage if they ignored him.

Like he didn't know how to just be polite, talk to their companion, ask for what they want, leave a tip?

• Clearing throat oddly

• Just everything feeling a bit staged? Like he'd do something and go "that's the kind of guy I am, we've got a WEEKEND IN PARIS ". It didn't feel natural, like although he was playing to a script of how A Successful Romantic Man should look? I was just part of the scene, not a person in my own right.

YY to the "not accepting stuff without corroborating evidence"

To this, can I add not treating me as well as random people he'd just met, or an (often female) acquaintance? Making new "friends" who were basically all youngish women.

He lacked self-respect and was full of self loathing, so his own partner, who had chosen HIM was someone whose opinion and feelings should be be dismissed. Being nice and polite and sociable was for outsiders. In the home was for drinking heavily and stonewalling.

...him going for a shower at the time we were due to leave to go out to a party / friends house so we were always 15-30 minutes late wherever we were expected. Rude.

His obsession with football and watching every match he could!

The way he treated my DS!

His rigid way of putting the friggin duvet cover on, down to how the buttons were fastened.

His whistling nose!

His snoring when he was drunk!

Him answering the phone with 'War office; want a fight?' when pissed.

Farting.

The TV being on all the time, even when the house was totally empty.

the endless excuses for his son who was a lazy wanker and never showed up to do the jobs he promised (18 months we had wood lying on the garden for a deck!)

going to the pub first when he came home from offshore

spending more on one meal than i did on the weekly shopping.

always putting salt on whatever i had made without tasting it

phoning about the time he knew i would be cooking to ask what was for tea and then declaring that he didn't want that and returning home hours later, pissed and with a takeaway.

the blatant favouritism towards DD1 that he fondly imagined was well hidden.

shouting loudly at someone who couldn't speak English and speaking in much broader Scots than usual to make himself harder to understand

Sounds like a lot of you were married to the same man ha ha
I've got to admit i'm guilty of a couple of the traits listed,
I am a willy waver and i do slap my partners bum if she bends over near me but she does do the same to me.
Is there any hope for me !!!!!

Trust me mike. Don't wave the willy. Each waggle eats away at the libido... it really does.
Where in the world have you ever read that waving your willy gets her in the mood?
It doesn't. It reduces your sex life to a comedic experience and a waved willy is not fucking funny... blueurgghh

Even my DS knows he's too old to wave his willy. He's 7

His micro penis
The way he didn't clean his teeth in the morning (no wonder 2 fell out).
His shuffly walk
Him standing In the garden with his shirt off when having a fag so he "didn't smell of smoke"
Him smoking
His snoring
Him saying "sowwy" all the time (howvabout you don't be a twat in the first place)
His complete and utter lack of balls when it came to his ex.
The compulsive lying.
Always being an afterthought.

God I detest him.

Frog
It was never intended to get her in the mood, she gets very embarrassed when I'm naked so i do it to make her blush

Be careful you don't get a seagull passing by then mike!! You might get more than you bargained for

Redhead, Pratchett's would call that an 'auto-condimentor'... HTH

Oh god frog only in the house

Just made my own list even though I haven't got rid of him yet...

Top of the list tonight is not being forced out with the kids to places we don't want to go to just because 'd' h can't bear to sit in the house.

He's currently ranting and raving because we haven't got anything planned for tomorrow and why haven't I thought of anything and WHY CAN'T I MAKE THE SUN SHINE.

Yes, totally my fault that the weather is shit.

They are very hungry at this time of year mike! Lock your doors.
Anyway. .
I wasn't allowed to clean the house. . Because I didn't do it properly. But then I got told off for not cleaning
became furious if I received a phone call or a text message whilst I was in his company and became angry with the sender/caller for 'interrupting' our time together.
I could go on. .

It was never intended to get her in the mood, she gets very embarrassed when I'm naked so i do it to make her blush

Still, probably not the best move. Ask her about it.

I'm laughing at the poster who said 'his micro penis', BRILLIANT!

It has only dawned on me what a twat my ex was since I met my FWB. He's only my FWB (although I know he wants it to be more, but that's another story..) but he has never once asked to ejaculate on me (TMI) whereas ExDH did every time we had sex apart from when TTC. My ExDH is 33 and my FWB is 26, yet it is ExDH who behaved like a porn obsessed teenager! Also, stopping once he had cum. He'd just go to sleep. FWB keeps going with his fingers or tongue (serious TMI, maybe I should leave the thread and put down the )

My ex of about a week is currently sitting in the living room whatsapping all the women he's been chatting up on pof, zoosk, tinder and rudester.com. He was out on a date the second day we split. This time last week I was devastated and I suppose I probably still am but I know I can do do much better. (So everyone keeps telling me). He doesn't know I know all about his antics and to be honest they're welcome to him. If I'd known 5 years ago What an absolute cunt he was I'd have run for the hills. I can't wait until the end of September when I can move out

His emotionally and finamcially abusive behaviour.

His family.

His invented mental health issues.

His ridiculously high standards of cleanliness despite never lifting a finger towards the chores.

His disgusting wastefulness.

His body hair everywhere.

Him using the hairdryer to DRY his body hair. YUK.

His disgusting body odour.

Endless takeaways.

Never cooking for me in 5 years or making me a cup of tea.

His boasting about it endlessly if he contributed to anything one jot. Eg he got up once when dd was a baby, never hear the end of it.

His out of control spending on designer clothes despite getting my own from charity shops and car boot sales.

His terrible spending in general.

His debt.

Him being glued to his phone.

Everything. Just everything.

wtaf is the last post? reported.

Probably. He/she is a regular scammer! However the laugh is on them this time as they clearly haven't read this thread. Err we don't want them back. ..