Hand holding required. Oh lost it just now. I was really scared

[Funnyfishface]

Football season started today so he went off this morning at 11 for pre drinks - came home at 10 drunk

I had been out this afternoon to meet a girl friend for coffee.
I hadn't told him
He said have u been out and I said yes to meet friend.
He went absolutely mad
He through his plate and food across the room.
Told me he fucking hates me
I'm a fucking liar

Omg I am shaking. He went to the toilet so I put shoes on and got in the car.

I have nowhere to go
I phoned him and said I'm terrified and he's drunk. He said I was being silly and he was in bed anyway.

I am crying
And shaking
I actually thought he was going to throw his mug of tea at me

He's asleep now. We have separate rooms.
Yes I have money.
I'm ok.

He won't wake. Youngest son is out but will be home later. He lives here.
Eldest son has been working shifts. I don't want them to worry.

My friend I met earlier lives 30 miles away. We met half way

My 2 good friends here are both out. I have driven around to them.

I'm ok for tonight.
I'm on meds for anxiety and I can't afford to let that get out of control again.

Thank you. I have had half diazepam. I'm calmer

I suspect your anxiety might improve somewhat if you weren't living with this jackass.

Is there anyway to get to a travelodge tonight?

Call your son and ask him to come home. If you were my mum I would be straight home I'm sure he will feel similar.

Do you have a lock on your door?

Do your sons know this is going on?

Mrsjoedolan is right. Bet your anxiety would disappear if you were away from him.

Has he been violent before?

Thank you. I can't stop crying.

He was so nasty.
Saying. Just fuck off
Called me a cxxt
He fucking hates me. I'm a fucking liar.
He was throwing things around the kitchen and slamming doors

Omg omg I was just saying You are being silly. There isn't anything I have lied about

Very occasionally - but I've not been this scared

Sons know yes.

He's deflecting Funny. He can't be in the wrong so you must be. His behaviour can't be in the wrong so yours must be. It's very typical behaviour for an abuser.

Horrible man. Not normal behaviour.
How fucking dare he speak to you like that.

He was screaming I fucking hate you.

Oh funny that's not right, you just don't deserve it
What do your sons think about it? Are they protective over you?

no wonder your anxiety is all over the place. It's fight/flight kicking in. It will take a while for your nerves to settle.

Yes they are fiercely protective over me. They are fantastic. I try not to involve them but they see what he is like.

Why are relate seeing you if he has previously been violent?

You don't deserve to be treated this way. You deserve to be loved and cared for.

You know you could call the police now to report the destruction he caused at home?
And they'd probably take him into custody.
And you could request an emergency injunction with the help of NCDV. You could call them now for advice.
And you could ring or email WA right now too.

May I ask why do you stay with him? Could you and your ds's get a place together?

Thank you all for reminding me to breathe.

It helps to calm. It's exhausting. Thank you so much. It means so much

what do you want to happen?

Lweji has great advice. An emergency injunction may mean you are entitled to legal aid too. Have you photographed the mess he has made?

He sounds like a nasty piece of work.

Honestly, if I / my DP asked the other what they'd done during a day we were away it'd be because we were wondering whether the other had a nice / interesting day. That's it.

A face might occur if DP swanned off and didn't do a job he'd previously agreed to do, but not shouting and swearing. That's abuse, but you know that.

Am going to bed now but will check in tomorrow morning.

Is your youngest back yet? I think it's time to plan how you will leave him. Make sure you keep that solicitors appointment next week.

You do NOT deserve to feel frightened in your own house. He is a nasty man and currently oblivious to all the carnage he has left behind him tonight.

I stay because I hope he will change. I realise of course that I can't fix him.
I have invested 23 years
And he isn't like this all the time.
I know he can't or won't change.
So I made a solicitors appointment which is next week. So I could start planning a future without him.
Then this happened. He was ok one minute then saw that I had changed out of my jogging bottoms and had nice jeans and top on. Asked if I had been out and when I told him he just lost it.
I hadn't told him I had plans. He said that he asked me yesterday and I lied.
Which isn't true.

No youngest won't be home until 3 -4. Him and friends have gone to a London club.
I'm ok though
Thank you so much
Really - thank you