Dating thread 79

[louby44]

Wow! 79 already...

Welcome to all daters, new, experienced or tearing your hair out at the frustration!

I think second date is too early to discuss it really. Unless he brings it up.

Blondegeeky viewed my profile again today. He views it every day. There clearly is a degree of interest from him. He may be going on there just to look at my pictures, who knows? He also clearly doesn't realise that I know he's doing it.

Or past date 2. I'd mention it if you were looking at a relationship.

I'd like a kid. If I was with someone I loved anyway. If they didn't want kids, I have 3, so I'd be ok.

Which site do you use Don't? It's sweet that he views your profile so often!

Ursula thanks.. I don't seem to be having much luck with names! - ok, we'll call him Skier - as one of his pics is of him skiing (and very nice one it is too!)

Completely agree with you about all the factors too.. there is one major factor that Skier doesn't tick the box with - I know this already. Most other people wouldn't tick that box either.. and it is a really big factor. I don't know why I'm even talking to him because of this.. but like you said, it's just impossible! I don't want to be celibate for the rest of my life so I just pushed that to one side.. but the truth is that it will be very hard to find the right person.

It would be so easy if I could just meet someone at work, but no chance of that - they're practically all married (although that doesn't seem to stop them trying it on anyway .

Gotta the first thing you said is hard.. no way of getting around it though.. as they say, it is what it is..

The second thing, I was thinking about this too. I don't want any more children.. I would bring it up .. probably after about the second date. Again, there's no point getting all involved with someone if your major life choices are going to be in conflict with each other..

Match. I think it's sweet too. I need to keep playing this cool - it will work. He asked me to text him more, but I haven't. I give myself a time to text him - say 7 pm, but he always texts first.

but, to caveat what I just said about the no more children conversation, dontcallmehon is right too.. depends what you're looking for in the relationship - if it's just dating for now, I wouldn't mention it. If it is clear to both of you that you are looking for something more serious, I would.

arggh Skier has messaged me again :)

he's in the exact area that I work in ... didn't know this before..

Then suggest meeting sometime!

sorry for the multiple postings.. but I don't know how to respond to his latest message. It turns out that professionally we do very similar things, although he is clearly more senior etc than me. Even down to the same rather niche area.

I feel even smaller now.. like I'll really be a disappointment..

Anyway, he has ended off all of his previous messages with questions back to me, but this one has no questions. Should I read this just as it is (a response to mine) or should I take this as a sign that he doesn't want to continue the conversation further?

Also, seriously, I don;t know at what point to arrange meeting? And I assume I should wait for him to suggest that if he wants to?

I don't want to have endless emails if it's not going anywhere..

x-post Ursula

I feel like this thing is doomed now :(

I'd be like 'oh my gosh! No way! Blah blah about jobs' but then don't listen to me, I never know when to leave it and end up being the last message all the time!

Hi everyone,
I hope you don't mind me wading in, I want to post a lot of times but this thread seems to move so fast!

Anyway, I've got a little quandary so I thought to hell will it, i'll just try and join in....

I had a four month thing which ended about 3 weeks ago. He was backing off, I acted needy, my friends persuaded me to get back on POF, which I did for about three days but in that time I got chatting to a nice lad and gave him my number. We went on a date and got on well, set another one up for next week, but...

He texts everyday, a lot!!! I would have welcomed this frequency with the previous guy but I'm not sure if new guy is needy (i'm such a hypocrite). The morning after our first date i got a "good morning" which feels a bit relations hippy to my. Last night he text at 9.30pm and I genuinely didn't have phone on me. At 11pm he text again saying "you not want to chat tonight?". When i picked up both messages and replied, he said he'd had an awful night at home alone! He hates being at home alone!

I just suddenly feel less interested. Or am I being really harsh?

ducked that would put me off too. Especially the needy follow up texts.

Hi Ducked, nah I'd be the same. There's such a thing as too much contact & the home alone thing just makes me think he's wandered into the realm of desperate for 'a relationship' no matter who with.

I just feel really horrible right now. I think maybe I shouldn't be doing this if it's making me feel stressed and anxious.

There are quite a few 'I hate being alone types' with OD and if you dig you often find they have just had a very recent heartbreak and just aren't ready for a new anything with anyone OR they are codependent. I learned a lot about the chap I just met up with recently. I could read him really well.

Grrrrrrr...I was hoping I was being harsh as up until now I've liked him. He seems so decent and I fancied him as well. Except a questionable choice in footwear.

I was hoping he wasn't desperate. He says he's been on a lot of first dates and rarely followed up due to a lack of spark, so I was hoping he is quite choosey. Clearly not!

Would you call date 2 off? It's not for another week or wait and see what happens. He's already text today too and I was just annoyed when I saw it flash up.

I don't want to deliberately cool off to test him or anything, thats the kind of behaviour that sent me batshit in the last thing I was in

Bad shoes and too much texting. Personally I'd bin him, ducked

Quite a consensus then. I thought you'd all tell me to wind my neck in and be nice!

I think I was one of the hate being alone types in the early days! Led some really unsuitable guys on, and feel awful for that now

Ducked I would agree with the others here..

Ducked,

I had a guy the same, updated me all day and was very keen. I didn't like it so cancelled second date, in hindsight I wish I had given him a chance and gone on second date even if it was to be sure he was not for me.

Maybe we are just not use to a man being so keen, but being needy is a bit much so early on.

bin him !! too many texts , especially ones about you not talking are a pain! quite refreshing that Mr b is not much of a texter, I'm quite liking the odd text and not wondering what I'm up to every second.

Yeah it's the follow up text when you didn't respond that puts me off! And if it's annoying you already...