Ok. So this week has been a bit up and down. Mostly down though, if I'm honest.
He finally told me this morning that he is still in contact with his most recent ex girlfriend - a beautiful, slim woman of the sort I am nothing like. I don't know when they split up.
She has a horrible terminal illness, which is obviously terrible. But he told me that he still sees her and thinks about her and that when he does it makes him sad. And that it's worse when he's at home. Which is where he is now.
He said that he doesn't love her anymore and he does love me. But I don't know.
He said it was important for me to understand... But I don't really know what it is I'm supposed to be understanding of.
I certainly can't compete with her though - a beautiful, dying woman. FFS.
So I asked him about her, just to try and gauge exactly what it is it's important for me to be understanding of, and when he last saw her and he hasn't replied.
Maybe there's something wrong wit me, but I don't get this staying in contact with every ex. My exH and I are amicable because of the children and we're trying to make it as easy for everyone as we can, but as far as I'm concerned, when someone's an ex, they're an ex for a reason and if you stay in touch it's due to unfinished business/unresolved feelings or whatever. And coupled with this... well I just can't match that.