Do I confront him??

[IKnowHisSecret]

I have done something very stupid and now it's eating away at me.
I looked at my DH work emails... And saw something that made me feel sick.
He has a contact that he flirts with regularly by the looks of things. They talk at work on the phone occasionally too. She lives down South somewhere I think so they have never met up but I know he has looked her up on Facebook. She has a partner and a child.
Anyway, the thing that made me feel sick is an email I saw from a few months back that he has kept. She stated "if only we were single and lived nearer" and my DH response was "I know :-("
She replied with "what's the :-( for?" He said "just :-("
I have recently seen an email and now know he has her number, she joked and asked if she was going to get loads of dodgy calls or pizza delivered to the office? He replied with "it's not pizza I want it's the COOKIE"
WTF???? How old is he? 14????? He's knocking on 40!
If our sex life was boring I could understand him looking but it isn't, and from her pictures on Facebook she's not that attractive - I feel insulted that he's looking at her!

So... I wanted to confront him as soon as I saw it but there is something big going on at work and I know if it pays off it would benefit us greatly so decided to keep my mouth shut until things are finalised.
Another part of me wants to keep having a sneaky look to see how far it will go, just to see what a complete arsehole he really is?

That should have read amazed.

Personally, I'd keep my mouth shut until the business deal was done but I am all about the long game.

Then I'd do as someone else suggested and order pizza or cookie and just watch.

I think flirtations at work can go to far and maybe you've caught it in time but you do need to talk about it. After all you only snooped because you sensed something was going on.

And really, approaching 40 and you're ugly - gosh jennifer aniston - I hope you heard that

Not all relationships need to end at the first sign of trouble. Some things need to be worked through. I would keep tabs on things and when you feel it appropriate then sit and tell him.

If we all listened to some spiteful, bitter mumsnet members, we would all be divorced. In some cases it is looking at the bigger picture and trying to work through things.

If things cannot be worked at then splitting is the only option. It's too easy to just walk away these days.

I agreed with a lot of what you said Bluebell but not sure about this bit,

It's too easy to just walk away these days

Why is that a bad thing?

What to do? Well there is not too much in my opinion. Any guy will try his luck unless he is ugly or lacking confidence/charm etc.

It is nothing to do with the looks of the other woman, just that it is another woman! I genuinely think most guys will do this and so there is probably not a lot you can do. Men love tasting a variety of cookies after all!!!

I think you need to confront him but going through his emails is a bit too forthright. Making him feel guilty and confessing is the better option in my humble opinion...

she's done sod all and is back at uni trying to launch a career at pushing 40.

Lol I wonder do people think that about me? My opinion is it's never to late to better yourself but I'm pushing 40 and launching a career so what do I know.

OP I don't know how you are able to wait, the suspense would kill me.

Morning all! Thank you for your posts... Would love to know what bluebells post said... It's been removed?
Changeling - good for you for going back to uni! I would love to but circumstances at the moment make it another headache I can do without.
I really want to wait till this work deal is done but I can't, it's making me feel ill. I can't eat as I constantly feel sick and my stomach is in bits (sorry if TMI!) I'm living on tea and the odd biscuit. I have to do it over the weekend, I'm sure someone will have my children for a while so we can talk.

Secret, stop tormenting yourself with his deceit, have it out with him now, you've waited long enough, no more.

For goodness sake have it out with him already!