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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

DH left me via an email

746 replies

INeedToEat · 09/08/2014 14:36

I was on holiday with the kids (alone), the day before we were meant to leave (yesterday) I get an email from DH of 13 years saying he has packed up and left. That he has got a flat somewhere but is first going away for over a week and his phone will be turned off. WTF. Oh and I can tell his son or he will tell him when he gets back. Now this isn't some wanker of a bloke, oh no - this one is one of the good ones usually. Hard working, rarely goes out, sober, kind and of course a good father yes really.

Our relationship to be fair could be better, we rarely properly talked and lead pretty individual lives - we have never discussed splitting up and never argue. No obvious signs of an affair but wouldn't be surprised.

I haven't eaten since I got the email. I have been in a haze , walking from one thing to another. I have told my son, he is beside himself particularly because of the no contact. It is killing me watching him in so much pain.

Any practical or emotional support welcomed. I can not think straight.

OP posts:
INeedToEat · 16/08/2014 21:33

Front, you are right. I enjoy and appreciate others opinions.. particularly when they give me food for thought and expand my mindand outlook.

Currently feeling like shit but watching 'the materix' with son while he tries to fall asleep.

OP posts:
WellWhoKnew · 16/08/2014 21:45

Exactly. I mean Ineed, you called me 'boss', implying I'm bossy so I have flounced off in 'discust'.

On the other hand, I have a mere opinion and I say it. I sincerely hope that the intention of help is understood, if not acted on: and if you blithely ignore my utter correctness, then more fool you (tongue in cheek emoticon).

Sincerely, you know you best and I wish you the easiest of rides through this difficult time but we can't do the hard yards for you, and you know that.

I think you asking for advice and considering it is very helpful for others who may not have the courage to post their own threads. Sometimes you cannot appreciate the good of your situation.

KOKO. You're doing well.

INeedToEat · 16/08/2014 23:54

KOKO. Feeling sick. Feeling like this will never end. Feeling fuck you coward.

OP posts:
springydaffs · 17/08/2014 00:05

Of course you feel sick, what has happened is sickening. Bless you lovely.

Sometimes, when emotional pain is too much, it finds a way to be expressed in the body. Not woo: in the past i've been relieved when emotional pain shows up in a cold/virus/whatever. Sometimes it's infinitely preferable.

GEt some sleep though, if you can -things can get magnified/distorted at night, and you don't need that! Xx

Mini05 · 17/08/2014 00:35

I need

Just to say well done you in your determination for you and your son
I have been through similar with ex h where he just came home next morning(after being out all night) and told me he had been with a girl!!!
Shock, sickness, heaving,despair was what I felt.

I completely am with you 100% you go and have a lovely bonding time with your son. You will get thoughts of when you were all on holiday previously and happy moments but then will get thoughts of what he's done so so head fucking!!!!!

Try to enjoy(I admire you for your strength just going) give loads of cuddles to your son(mine was only 4 at the time but will never let a man come between us now) and get closer get strength from each other.

Hope you have happy jollys(holidays) xx

WellWhoKnew · 17/08/2014 01:43

Ineed this situation: It ends. We just can't give you a date.

We can remind you that you're doing okay even when the voice in your head says you're not.

I suspect you're crashing right now.

So there you go: you're human.

We're here. You matter. We understand.

We're all had that horrific moment. That's why we can spare some time. You're not a freak, you've done nothing wrong. It's shit and it's hard. We can't wave the wand to stop this.

You are going to be the woman who ends up a little bit more compassionate and supportive, and amazing because of this.

You'll come here and sort the next woman out.

That's why we are all here.

KOKO, love. We know how hard the low is - we've been there. We are not going to kick you for having it.

WhereTheWildlingsAre · 17/08/2014 08:06

It will end, it does get better... Just very very slowly. I guess you are also in a sort of limbo until the next stage of contact with coward, in whatever form that takes. The powerlessness he has left you with is one of the things I would find unbearable because my personal coping mechanism in times of stress is to find ways of trying to 'fix' things and gain control. He has made that extremely difficult.

INeedToEat · 17/08/2014 10:36

Slept well until about 7am then dozed on and off til 9.30am (with cat sitting on my head).

Still feeling very sick this morning. Maybe it is nerves as 'Tuesday' approaches. Keep running several takes of 'what might happen' in my head. Over and over.

Need to hold it together. Swinging from total anger and hatred to numbness and feeling sick.

Your words, as ever are amazing.

OP posts:
Ledkr · 17/08/2014 11:15

It does get better. I was amazed at the physical effects on my body.
It's a bit of a chain reaction, I couldn't eat at all but then fejt weak and couldn't sleep so forcing some high calorie food down my throat helped me to function better.
Each day is slightly easier but if imagine you are in limbo until you get some answers.
What a cowardly man he is, you will be well rid if him which you will see when you feel better.
My life has gone rom strength to strength since my x left.

Joysmum · 17/08/2014 12:03

Of course I'm going to sound vial to some people by posting an opposing view.

I've declared my bias on this thread as coming prompted by being the feelings of a child who's parents divorced. I'm not trying to blame or make the OP feel dreadful, just to consider things from the perspective I had as a child in the same situation when my mum wrote my dad a Dear John letter.

I'm sorry if it comes across as rude by writing in the third person, but despite this being 25+ years ago, when I was older than the child in this situation, it's still very raw when I go back to those times. I write in the third person to try to gain some strength and perspective to express myself. Of course I can't know, only surmise what this little boy is feeling so I can't presume to speak for him. All I can do is tell my story in the hope it helps him somehow.

I know there are those on mumsnet that troll, simply looking for a fight or attention. I'm not one of those. I've kept my name and declared my bias. It actually took at lot of guts to stand up as disagree with the majority and say I don't believe the advice offered so far is in the best interests of the child. I can only go on my personal perception of what's been written, I know from my own recent thread that people put their own twist on things due to their own experiences (just as I've done here) and that's to be expected. There are also always going to be those that believe nobody has the right to disagree with anyone going through a tough time and that it should all be blanket sympathy.

I also won't post again because every doubt I want to raise to ensure it's being considered from the perspective I have from having gone through this as a child myself will have been raised. Some things might apply, some might be way off the mark. It doesn't matter to me if I'm right or wrong. I just hope that something positive can come from me sharing the hurt I experienced as a child to make what that little boy is going through a touch easier while everyone else comforts the OP.

To those ridiculing waiting to tell the child, I recently lost one of my best friends recent to cancer. She knew it was terminal but she chose to wait until McMillan had a nurse available to be there too so the children were best supported and told in the best way for them. It was hard for her to wait. I was ready to tell my child immediately but needed to wait because the children are best friends too, it was hard but I feel I did the right thing in waiting, as did she. It's a matter of opinion whether it's right to wait or to tell. Tell or not, what happens next is the most important bit.

An 11 year old child won't possess the maturity to process quickly the myriad of feelings raised by the break up of their parents. They will react to what they see happening now which is an understandably hurt mum and a dad to blame. That's going to affect everything that child expresses to the mum.

The dad knew this was coming but decided to go away and go no contact.

The OP is as affected by that as by the split and yet has been advised to do exactly the same thing by going away!

The child has been asked his opinion on this, but realises it's being presented as what mum thinks is best so not only agrees but suggests longer. I did the same as a child to protect my dad (in my case), it was nothing to do with my needs, just me trying to make things better for him.

If I'm right in thinking there's just been the original email from the father and then the second one where he realised he was a dick to do it by email, there's every chance he's not checked email again and seen the OP's one about her initiating contact when her son decides to. Or he might have seen and then will see that email from her and be respect her wishes and waiting for her to make the next move (as per her analysis he's a good guy who avoids confrontation). By waiting, he'll be merely confirming his sons opinion that he's been abandoned. By the OP prolonging the time before father and son can see each other it's also going to have the same affect. Neither of which are what's best for the child.

She doesn't know the fathers intensions but has herself said he's one of the good guys who avoids confrontation. He made a bad decision but is is one of those who seeks to hurt both mother and child intentionally? If not, they both need to at least communicate to present a united front (but not necessarily together) to the child to reassure him he's loved by both, it's not his fault and that he doesn't have to pick sides. That it is hard and everyone is hurting and that's normal.

There was an earlier post stating how the OP's own mother, a professional, disagrees with the OP about the situation, I wonder how?

OP I know you said you doubted I'd reply. I have because this is what I needed somebody to tell my parents to best help me, I'm very openly massively projecting, just as others who look at this from the perspective of having been left by a partner have also done throughout this thread.

In case you are reading this OP, it's clear you're a wonderful parent doing your best. I sincerely wish you all the strength in the world to get you and your son through this.

I'll leave the thread to ensure this remains a thread of strength for you. Take care.

Vivacia · 17/08/2014 12:41

I don't think people took exception to you writing an opposing view Joy.

INeedToEat · 17/08/2014 13:19

joysmum of course I read your post. Viv is correct that it was not your opposing view that I, or anyone else took exception too. 'it's the way you tell 'em'. I appreciate your open and honest second post.

However, lots of projection to get through, people's experiences are not the same. Son is not seeing me hate his father, not seeing me a mess, he is seeing and hearing me being loving about his dad and is seeing me cope by actively working through things.

Again, I have discussed him seeing his dad on several occasions, discussed how hard this will seem but it is something he needs to do, that he does not have to take sides and we both love him blah blah blah. He has still chosen to go away. Should I force it with him?

I have not sent coward any email saying he should wait until his son wants contact - they were my venting emails. Posted only for here.

My last email to coward was on Sunday - I told him son wanted to talk to him - no email, no phone call, no him coming back to see son. Son has since changed his mind... and is still refusing to email him.

My mum, the professional (as am I) thinks if coward and I talk we would get back together. She is deluided. If he had hit me she would still think there was a way back.

Your post has made me think. Reflect and challenge some of my thoughts. As I have said on many of my posts I do not want to fall into 'tit for tat' situations where my poor son is in the middle getting more and more hurt. I am more than aware of the importance of communication between coward and I for our son's benefit alone. For the moment son needs more time.

You are more than welcome to post again. oh and btw he has not apologised for being a dick. He said I'm sorry I done it this way BUT it was the right thing to do. Well...no it wasnt.

Thank you led for your words.

OP posts:
EllaFitzgerald · 17/08/2014 13:22

Good grief Joysmum She's not stopping her DS from contacting his father. Much more importantly, she's not stopping his father from contacting him. He's chosen not to.

INeed not that you require parenting advice from me, but I think you're doing perfectly with your DS. My mum did similarly with us when I was around the same age as your DS and it was absolutely the right way to go about it.

This is just a repeat of what other posters have said, but you're doing absolutely the right thing by not contacting him. He might prefer no contact, but I very much doubt that he'd be expecting it and I'd imagine that he's feeling distinctly unsettled at the moment.

I wish you continued strength in the months to come.

Joysmum · 17/08/2014 14:04

Again, best of wishes to you INeedToEat, fab name by the way as it's how I cope.

I won't post again because I can only say it took me ages thanks to lots of drafts and editing to try take out the emotion, get some degree of objectiveness to get to the posts I did, which still weren't written well enough. I'm truly sorry for that and the last thiing either you or your son need is for you to be broken so I don't want to risk it. I truly admire you for holding you and him together as best you can. Take care.

INeedToEat · 17/08/2014 14:19

You can not 'break' me. I hope you found your posts therapeutic.

OP posts:
FrontForward · 17/08/2014 17:06

Ineed. I think you sound like a saint doing just the right thing for your son.

Joysmum you obviously have issues with your parents divorce. That I can only sympathise with. One thing as a parent I realised was it's always easy to get it wrong because often there is no 'right way' just a few choices all of which have negative outcomes. As a parent I have always considered long and hard to try and choose the least damaging option. I've made many sacrifices that have gone unnoticed. Children can be harsh judges and tbh I know I've judged my parents. As an adult going through difficult times it's given me the experience to be a bit more understanding of the pressures on them which has helped me accept some tough parts of my childhood.

Ledkr · 17/08/2014 18:13

Op. My kids are fine and they were varying ages when we split. (They were the ones who found out about ow)
I keit the older ones Informed 18 and 16 the other boy was 12 so I told him we'd split but with little detail.
He eventually got to know the truth.
Dd was a baby so not relevant.
They saw me upset and traumatised they watched me get stronger again and rebuild my life.
They have occasionally heard me moan about their fathers lack of interest or financial input, so what, it's the truth!
I mostly get on with him and have fought hard to maintain contact for them (he has little interest)
Mostly I just got on with feeding them and clothing them and giving them the best life I am capable of, I think that them seeing my sadness helped them to cope with their own.
I'm sure if I'd been stoic they'd have wondered what was wrong and felt they needed to hide their own emotions.
You are doing just fine in keeping going for your ds, he will be just fine.

INeedToEat · 17/08/2014 20:32

Dear coward.

Your stuff is packed (in shed), and so is mine (in suitcase).

I am taking son on his promised holiday tomorrow. This is something he requested. My phone will be off but I might be able to pick up emails...or I might not. I will email you on our return.

You are a cunt.

(Did not actually send this emotion)

OP posts:
FrontForward · 17/08/2014 20:38
Grin

I like it.

You forgot the we are damn well going to have fun

sailorsgal · 17/08/2014 20:44

I hope you have some happy moments over the next few days.

WhereTheWildlingsAre · 17/08/2014 21:31

Spoil yourselves xx

WellWhoKnew · 17/08/2014 22:55

Have an utterly fabulous time - you two need and deserve it.

Adarajames · 18/08/2014 01:43

Delurking to say you're doing great! Well done on the locks changed and I'm sure if you can do that then the new furniture will be easy as pie once you get the right bits!
Have a fantastic time away with your son who sounds very sane and lovely, as do you. X

TheysayIamparanoid · 18/08/2014 16:10

Have a fab time! Grin

INeedToEat · 18/08/2014 21:04

Took 6 hours door too door. We are knackered. Place is wonderful. Internet is rubbish. Great food... it is put in front of me so I eat it ! Been swimming, sauna, jacuzzi, bowling and played air hockey .. Place is totally in the middle of no where with wonderful views. Have not thought of coward since we arrived. Son is doing well having lots of fun. Lots of activities planmed for tomorrow. Cheers all x x x

OP posts:
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