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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Mumsnet Poll: how wonderful/ useless is your dh/dp on a scale of 1-10

132 replies

TearingMyHairOut · 17/09/2006 09:50

Just want to hear from other mums how useless/ wonderful their other halves are and why. 10 being fabulour and 1 being totally crap. Also would be nice to know age of children and wheteher he has changed in any way as they grow up?

OP posts:
TearingMyHairOut · 17/09/2006 20:43

wow! This is such a nice and uplifting thread to read...there are so many lucky women here!

OP posts:
Bozza · 17/09/2006 20:45

Honestly DH would be about 7 out of 10 I reckon. Although maybe I am harsh because he does change nappies unlike other 7/10s below. Oh sorry, he doesn't because we don't have them any more. And he takes DD to the toilet less than I do. He gets up in the night but not as often as I do. He baths the children but not as often as I do. He plays football with DS a lot more often than I do - thankfully. He plays babies with DD (which is good I think - positive male role model and all that).

He is quite good around the house regarding cleaning/laundry. But he is shite with regards to feeding anybody - planning/shopping/cooking all my domain entirely. And social planning, present buying etc is all mine - but I think the control freak in me likes that bit.

flannelettepyjamas · 17/09/2006 23:39

10/10 for being a dedicated hard working chap which allows me to be a SAHM.
9/10 for being a all round great Dad who rushes home from work to bath DD and put her to bed.
Lost 1 mark yesterday for asking me what she usually has for lunch.
But he works 60-80 hours a week so he can't know everything.
10/10 for being loving, romantic and for putting up with my sour moods.

lisalisa · 17/09/2006 23:44

Message withdrawn

flannelettepyjamas · 17/09/2006 23:49

sorry, DD 16 months

CountessDracula · 18/09/2006 00:36

mine gets at least a 12

He is wonderful
he makes me and dd laugh all the time
he is fab with dd she adores him too
he is my best mate
he is a fantastic shag
he makes great bacon sarnies
he is fab at housework
he brings me flowers often even after 17 years

what more could I ask?

WriggleJiggle · 18/09/2006 01:49

100/10 When I was pregnant and he realised he would never have enough hours in the day to be a dad he quit work (whilst remaining on full pay for 6 months). The house was always clean and dinner was always ready for me coming home.

After the wriggler was born I went back to work and he was a SAHM for 6 weeks.

Now he has returned to work so I can be a SAHM
My Hero.

TenaLady · 18/09/2006 08:52

ooooh didnt realise we could give ourselves points too im defo a 10 + and thats what gets on his nerves my big head and mother earth tendencies.

FrannyandZooey · 18/09/2006 08:59

9 / 10 for being a fab dad (always room for improvement though)

I shall gloss over the rest and leave his score nice and high

lisalisa · 18/09/2006 22:15

Message withdrawn

TenaLady · 19/09/2006 10:05

lisalisa, I can see you need therapy dear, its not US, its THEM that are wrong

meowmix · 19/09/2006 10:07

10/10 for being a Dad, 2 as DH TODAY but thats because he forgot to insure all our worldly goods before putting them on a cargo ship and sending them across the world and now they've gone missing. Twat.

foxinsocks · 19/09/2006 10:13

aww lisa

I would say dh has improved with time (like a ripe old cheese )!

My two are 6 and 4 but I think dh would even admit himself that when they were babies, he found it v hard and I would say that both of us would have rated around a 5 then. We were both working (pretty much full time) and hardly saw each other or the kids but I still had to do EVERYTHING childcare or household related and I resented that.

As they've got older, he's realised how much hard work it is and he is generally fabulous now and is a massive support for me when I need him to be and we still love each other v much.

CheesyFeet · 19/09/2006 11:00

As a dad - 8, he loved dd to bits and they have a fab relationship, he plays with her, reads her stories, makes her laugh but he leaves it to me to remember all the practical stuff eg making sure we have enough nappies if we go for a day out.

As a partner (as in practical stuff) - 8 again, he cooks, cleans, tidies etc but I wouldn't say that the housework is split entirely down the middle. He looks after the cars though, he can do some repairs that save on garage bills and he is fab at DIY too.

As a husband - 9, he is loving and supportive and puts up with a lot from me at times (as I do him). I wish he were more sociable though as I like to see friends and go out occasionally but he's happy to stay at home in our little bubble.

Although we have our moments, we have a great partnership.

lisalisa · 19/09/2006 19:51

Message withdrawn

sorkycake · 19/09/2006 20:25

Mine isn't too bad tbh, but I did start off with someone who couldn't open a tin due to mollycoddling mother and through sheer grit n determination have managed to reshape him into a half decent man.

He is excellent with kids, loves them very much and spends all of his time with us, no playing footie, out drinking with mates etc.

Works from home 1 day a week to negate childcare and spend more time with them, needless to say he doesn't get much work done. I tell him when to take his a/l for when I'm wobbling or need a bit more help ( 4, 2.8, & 20weeks pg).

He could be better at being clean and tidy, but I accept I have high standards, and he does rely on me a bit too much for packing bags and organising stuff in general, but he rarely forgets the jobs he does have to do.

He more than makes up for any shortcomings in the way he loves me , my man would do anything to make me happy.

Uwila · 19/09/2006 20:55

Oh Lisa, how the heck are you???? Last I heard you were being called in for a meeting to talk about your redundancy, and then you vanished. I even strted a thread looking for you -- but it brought no news. How are you?????

And, uh, there's been a post or two on here in years gone by that made me want to slap your DH myself.

CarolinaMoon · 19/09/2006 20:57

9/10

only not 10 because he's sometimes a bit grumpy about it.

but he does work hard OTH and then come back and do his fair share, so not surprising really.

Alibaldi · 19/09/2006 20:58

As a father probably now 7 / 10 as he gives them more time now as a husband -10/10 but that's another story and one which will have an ending for mumsnet one of these days.

PanicPants · 19/09/2006 21:01

9/10 as a father (when he's here and not at work)ds aged 1

7/10 as a dp

Think he's a much better dad than partner, but work will always come first sadly

Verso · 19/09/2006 21:04

6/10 as a father (DD is 17 months)
2/10 around the house etc - has been useless ever since we got married and got worse once DD was born

Verso · 19/09/2006 21:06

P.S. Can't believe I just posted that. Used to be an ardent feminist in my 'yoof' and didn't understand why women put up with cr** from their husbands/partners. Thought it would never happen to me!

Ah well!

koshka1984 · 19/09/2006 21:12

oh i posted right at the start, but i want to lower the one to a minus figure if thats ok!
hes stayiong in my mums house with us while he finds a home, and DS was screaming all eve (out of character my my babe but he is only 11 weeks)
and he just went 'whats up with him then?'

didnt even notice hed been crying for hours and so had i

ssd · 19/09/2006 21:20

sometimes great, sometimes shite, probably like me.

Alibaldi · 19/09/2006 22:00

koshka1984 so sorry you've having such a hard time, didn't want your post to go unnoticed