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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Mumsnet Poll: how wonderful/ useless is your dh/dp on a scale of 1-10

132 replies

TearingMyHairOut · 17/09/2006 09:50

Just want to hear from other mums how useless/ wonderful their other halves are and why. 10 being fabulour and 1 being totally crap. Also would be nice to know age of children and wheteher he has changed in any way as they grow up?

OP posts:
TenaLady · 17/09/2006 11:06

I think you may of read my allocation of points as kids.

Megglevache · 17/09/2006 11:06

Message withdrawn

intergalacticwalrus · 17/09/2006 11:07

I was critical.

DS1s entrance into the world was traumatic to say the least, and we both found it very difficult to adjust. DP and I have a very strong relationship, but at that point, I didn;t think it would survive, but we are still here almost 2 years down the line, and those awful early days after DS1's birth are now distant memories.

It took me having a major blow up one day to make DP realise that things couldn't continue like they were and that he either pulled his weight with DS or we would move out. I think that bucked his ideas up alot. This time with DS2, things are totally different. DP is so much calmer, and more confident, and will happily muck in more (he didn't cahnge one of DS1's nappies until he was almost a month old) As a result, I feel happier, I don;t feel like I am falling into the pit that is PND, like I did last time, and DS2 is a lovely calm baby, which I think boils down to the fact that my relationship with DP isn;t so fractious.

TearingMyHairOut · 17/09/2006 11:08

Tena Lady - I doubt you would have coped with five if he's like you say!

OP posts:
TenaLady · 17/09/2006 11:09

I love that Megglevache. I like the other comments you get when the house is uproar.

'Cant stop now I must get to work, or Ive GOT to go to work'

Upon arriving home, 'Ive just got in from work, any chance of some space and changing my clothes'

I'm thinking, FFS I would of liked a chance of a poo today but didnt get the chance!!!

intergalacticwalrus · 17/09/2006 11:09

I aso agree that leaving DP with DS alone for a day did mark a turning point! Our house was like the local refuse site, and that was only after about 5 or 6 hours. He has never been critical of anything I have done/havent done since

TearingMyHairOut · 17/09/2006 11:10

So what you're all saying is you've got to be cruel to be kind, either leave him in the thick of it on his own (BUT he WOULD go to his mother's and she NEVER goes away) or tell it like it is

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 17/09/2006 11:10

TearingMyHairOut, because having children hasn't changed his life at all and he's cr*p at DIY. He only scores a 1 because he has a well-paid job

TenaLady · 17/09/2006 11:11

Tearing my hair out, you're right there, I would of chucked him out and got him back just to do DIY jobs. Not a bad deal eh!

intergalacticwalrus · 17/09/2006 11:12

DP cvan't do DIY either. I am the one in our house who is handy with the rawl plugs.

lovemybaba · 17/09/2006 11:12

DS is 11 months.

My DH is a minus 10!

TearingMyHairOut · 17/09/2006 11:13

I usually get "It's been a hard day can I just sit down and have a cup of tea for half an hour" and I'm like it's half past f**king five and I haven't had lunch yet" but I've got this awful thing that makes me feel really guilty if hubby's needs aren't looked after because his mother mollycoddled him all his life and he'll think he's getting a bad deal. so I think 'poor baby he's had a hard day he needs a cup of tea'

OP posts:
TearingMyHairOut · 17/09/2006 11:13

I usually get "It's been a hard day can I just sit down and have a cup of tea for half an hour" and I'm like it's half past f**king five and I haven't had lunch yet" but I've got this awful thing that makes me feel really guilty if hubby's needs aren't looked after because his mother mollycoddled him all his life and he'll think he's getting a bad deal. so I think 'poor baby he's had a hard day he needs a cup of tea'

OP posts:
TearingMyHairOut · 17/09/2006 11:14

Soup Dragon - oh so it could be worse!!! Poor you

Love my baba why? minus 10 that's bad

OP posts:
TenaLady · 17/09/2006 11:15

intergalactic, I hope you use raw plugs and not rawl plugs else nowt will stay on your walls

donnie · 17/09/2006 11:15

mine is 11. He is fab in every way!!!!

TenaLady · 17/09/2006 11:16

ahhh bog off Donnie, must be first year or marriage, yeah!

lovemybaba · 17/09/2006 11:19

I suppose it's partly my fault for picking up after DH for all these years. B4 ds was born I told him he'd have to do his bit around the house because I can't do it all.

Anyway since ds was born he's even worse. He's the worlds most lazy MF! Typical Mummies boy! I mean FFS he's 30 years old and 11month ds is more mature than he is!

TenaLady · 17/09/2006 11:19

Intergalactic, I take it all back, all my life Ive known them as raw plugs but I understand some manufacturer (not many) call them rawl plugs. So may all your shelves remain.

TearingMyHairOut · 17/09/2006 11:19

Then appreciate him very much! You're very lucky! I suppose difficult hubby=difficult baby so get the whole package!

OP posts:
TenaLady · 17/09/2006 11:21

lovemababa, Dont know how your finances are fixed but how about leaving him with little one for a long weekend and booking into a nice hotel with a sauna gym swimming pool.

Might change his tune.

TearingMyHairOut · 17/09/2006 11:22

Love My Baba - exactly the same, I followed on where his mother left off. Just this week I've started purposefully 'leaving things' undone. Eg, putting away all washing apart from his and leaving it on the bed for him, leaving the bin overflowing.
The washing is still waiting to be put away and he keeps telling me the bin smells!!! Why doesn't he just empty it I don't know

OP posts:
TenaLady · 17/09/2006 11:23

better get off here before they get back from the footy.
Dinner to start
Cleaning to do
Shower to have
Ironing to do
General picking up of everybodies stuff.

GET THE PICTURE...........TA TA for now have a good Sunday.

lovemybaba · 17/09/2006 11:26

I did the same this week. Didn't wash up for daaayyyyyyyys. There was even some pots of food on the side that were completely minging!!

I caved in though about 2 days ago and gave the kitchen a lovely spring clean (cannot bear a dirty kitchen . He couldn't give a shit! The only reason that I do tidy up the living room is for the sake of DS (becuase he plays with his toys and rolls all over the floor - bless him) and my sanity!

lovemybaba · 17/09/2006 11:28

Tenalady - think I might have to do that! Brill idea. Only thing is though, I'll probably come home and ds will be at his granma's house!

My DH is such a lazyy arse!

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