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Original poster

Mumsnet Poll: how wonderful/ useless is your dh/dp on a scale of 1-10

132 replies

TearingMyHairOut · 17/09/2006 09:50

Just want to hear from other mums how useless/ wonderful their other halves are and why. 10 being fabulour and 1 being totally crap. Also would be nice to know age of children and wheteher he has changed in any way as they grow up?

OP posts:
womblingalong · 17/09/2006 10:18

My DH is pretty much a 10 with dd, and probably a 7/8 with house stuff, taking responsibility, just fab really.

jessicaandrebeccasdaddy · 17/09/2006 10:19

we dont get to go out much...

went to go for a drink last night but our local was closed for a private function... we were very

Original poster
TearingMyHairOut · 17/09/2006 10:19

If I tried to tell dh that a full day teaching was a rest he'd have a right laugh. I need to convince him to do more without sounding critical. In the first 3/4 weeks he was on summer holidays he was a godsend because I was pretty poorly, but now I'm better it's like diminished responsibility-he knows I'll deal with it all.

OP posts:
jessicaandrebeccasdaddy · 17/09/2006 10:20

im a chef

FillyjonktheBananaEater · 17/09/2006 10:20

He is, without a doubt, an 11

He has just taken the kids for the morning so I can study.

He has also instructed me to make sure I have some "me" time.

He has singlehandedly packed up the nappies and sufficient healthy food for them, and planned some activities that they will actually enjoy (tractor and farmer's market)

He is, actually, fantastic and I am very lucky

Original poster
TearingMyHairOut · 17/09/2006 10:21

Oh dear what a shame JARD do you not have anyone who could baby sit?

OP posts:
Original poster
TearingMyHairOut · 17/09/2006 10:21

Oh dear what a shame JARD do you not have anyone who could baby sit?

OP posts:
Original poster
TearingMyHairOut · 17/09/2006 10:22

With regards to changing as they get older, I was wondering if as tiny babies who just eat, sleep, cry and stuff the rewards are a bit lacking and whether as they start to become more responsive/ give more back, partners become more interested. I'm at home with 10 week old and dh works full time but seems like he needs to chillout when he gets home rather than spend time with ds for an hour or so. I do all night feeds and pretty much all house stuuf, making bottles, washing etc. Is this normal because I'm the one at home or should I be expecting more of him?

OP posts:
QueenEagle · 17/09/2006 10:23

dh joined our family 5 years ago and became dad to my dd, ds1 and ds2. 10/10 for that.

At that time around the house? 1/10

Since having our ds's? He chamged nappies, did bottles when I stopped bf-ing, got up in the night on his nights off. 8/10

Around the house? 1/10 still.

3 months ago I returned to part time evening work so he now does the bathtime, dinners and stories plus homework and football training for the older ds's. Got to be 9/10 for that!!

It's taken a long time, but I appreciate he came in to an established set-up which was probably very daunting for him at times. He has improved so much with childcare related/housework stuff. So 10/10 for most improved dh methinks!!

jessicaandrebeccasdaddy · 17/09/2006 10:23

Fil does baby-sit on occassion but that is it.

may get easier when we move closer to Fil in a few weeks though

BonyM · 17/09/2006 10:27

On balance, I'd have to give him a 10. He's fab with the dds who are 8 and 18mths (dd1 is not his, but you'd never know it to see them together).

The only thing he doesn't do with dd2 is put her to bed at night but that's only because I'm still breastfeeding.

He has an incredibly demanding job with long hours but still does his fair share around the house (more than his fair share sometimes). The only thing he doesn't do much of is cooking, but that's only because I'm better at it than he is .

Having said that, he's just taken the girls off to Tesco to get stuff in to make Sunday lunch because I've got a stinking cold.

BonyM · 17/09/2006 10:29

Oh - with regard to your comment about men getting better/more involved as babies get older, dh has been great from day one - says he can't understand these men who think that small babies are uninteresting. He's been absolutely fascinated and besotted right from the start .

YeahBut · 17/09/2006 10:36

My dh is a 10 but perhaps it is because I expect him to do his bit. We are in this together.

Megglevache · 17/09/2006 10:46

Message withdrawn

intergalacticwalrus · 17/09/2006 10:52

My DP gets a 7. He is fairly good at all the nappy changes/winding DS2 at 4am/taking DS1 out for a good run etc, but with the day to day ghousehold stuff, he needs prompting. He will wash up etc, if I ask him to, but if he is left home alone, nothing gets done. |He's more than capable at most stuff though, but he never does anything to my standards

However, I am just grateful that he is good at the important things, like being a good dad to our DSs, and that he isn't a commitment phobic nobbo.

intergalacticwalrus · 17/09/2006 10:54

Btw, DS1 is 21 months, and DS2 is 11 days old. He was a bit uselfess tbh when DS1 was born, but that's because DS1 was a very difficult baby, who wouldn't stop crying for love nor money. He became much more involved etc when DS1 turned about 2 or 3 months, and became a little more settled. He is totally different this time round, as he's more confident

Original poster
TearingMyHairOut · 17/09/2006 10:55

Meggle - wow!!! share your expertise, how did you go about getting this dramatic change. Surely it wasn't just a case of saying one morning "right come on do more", if he was in the habits of a whole family belief. Was it a slow process...how did you do it. My hubby's family are exactly the same...a women's work is never done

OP posts:
TenaLady · 17/09/2006 10:58

dh 10 on DIY but pee's me off as it all takes ages cos he is a perfectionist to the enth degree. Always looks great at the end.

4 on the dealing with ds5.1wk. Never enthusiastic on doing any activities with him. I always push for him to take him to football on Sundays.

I need him to do the swimming which he always does reluctantly and never without a row cos I cant do water in vast expanses. He would of been swimming confidently yonks ago if he had been taken frequently.

1 on discipline. He cant grasp the principles on how to discipline unless it includes shouting or removing articles and putting ds in naughty room without a warning. (bloody waste of space)

SoupDragon · 17/09/2006 10:58

1

Original poster
TearingMyHairOut · 17/09/2006 10:59

Intergalatic walrus...my ds1 is exactly the same, very difficult and lots of crying. Do you think it's a confidence thing then? How can I gently coax him into doing more without seeming critical?

OP posts:
MeAndMyBoy · 17/09/2006 11:00

Usually an 9 but then he remembered to do the bins this week without me having to say more than once so a 10. I'd probably get a 5 on the other hand lol

Original poster
TearingMyHairOut · 17/09/2006 11:01

Why 1 soup dragon?

Tena Lady-sounds like you've got a mixed bag there...did you say you have 5 children? That must be a handful

OP posts:
Frizbe · 17/09/2006 11:01

about an 8 I'd say, he could do less computer stuff with ds, less tv with the dd's and more out and about stuff! he could also cook better, but on the whole as he works his ass off most of the time he's a fab dad when he's about

Megglevache · 17/09/2006 11:03

Message withdrawn

TenaLady · 17/09/2006 11:05

Tearingmyhairout, Noooooo, I would of loved 5 kids, he wouldnt of coped though!!

1 ds 5yr and 1 wk, 2 Stepkids 14 and 16 but they dont live with us and dont count as far as the household up here is run.

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