Caught in the act . Mortified.

[SickOfAnts]

Have once again turned to MN as in RL there is only DH to talk to.

The barebones of the story are that DH and I were caught in the act yesterday by our DDIL and the ramifications seem to be totally over the top.

We've had a stressful couple of years. Our relationship was put into question over an event which happened nearly 30 years ago, was a horrid time and still now it is in the background.

Last year our DS1 announced that his girlfriend was pregnant, they're both students in pretty full on studies. We supported them 100% and i gave up work to look after our beautiful GD.

Yesterday we looked after our GD, DS and DDIL are on holiday from uni but we offered to give them a break.
DH came home for lunch and we fawned over DGD for a while and then put her down for her siesta.
One thing led to another (consenting adults in their 50's) and to cut a long story short DDIL arrived (very quietly) and caught us in a compromising position.

Mortification is not the word.

She went into the kitchen and DH spoke to her/apologised.
She was all kinds of embarrassed.
She woke up DGD and went home.

Since then all hell has broken loose. DS can't trust us to look after DGD, if we can't hear DDIL coming in then how could we hear a baby crying?

I could die. I feel dreadful.

DH has pulled rank and has basically told DS to just drop it.

I feel sick.

Thankyou for reading this far. I know this is a total non story but it's very upsetting and embarrassing for me and i needed to share.

Sickofants, you could also try looking at it this way - if they were really peed off they'd block you on Facebook.

It is interesting the assumption that once one reaches 50 ones libido plummets.

When i first met my PIL they were younger than i am now. They seemed ancient.
The mere thought of them DTD would have been vomit enducing!

Now in my advanced years i sincerely hope they did have intimacy.

20 years ago 54 seemed beyond old. Now at 54 i still feel young.
Even i question at what age is the cut off point fir sexual contact.
I see no reason why if DH and i are in good health and "up for it" that we couldnt continue into our 80's or 90's!
I may be being optimistic.

UnlikelyAmazonian Do you book a babysitter, every time you want to have sex?
Is it ok to have sex during the night, is you have a baby in your care? Is it just daytime sex that you have a problem with, or sex outside of the bedroom?

There are so many young women/couples who are held hostage by their parents wrt the care of their children.
Held hostage? No! They have a choice. It is a parent's responsibility to care for their children. Free childcare is not the same as paid childcare so you have to accept that it may come with standards that you are not happy with. If you don't like that, you have to move them elsewhere.
And it strikes me that if anyone is being 'held hostage' here, it's the OP. You can look after my child for free, but I can tell you what you can and can't do when my child is sleeping.

OP, I'm kind of glad that your sister found it so funny, because I hope that will allow you to feel a little less mortified by it. Sorry, but it is slightly hilarious, however, it is your DDIL that I am laughing at. I have a vision of a very prim, uptight woman (with a dull sex life) hyperventilating over the sight of her hot blooded in-laws having sex!!

Has anyone actually said that they have ad fundamental problem with the over 50s having sex, though?

I think most of us would rather not have a tangible image of our parents shagging, but then I'd rather not think about my brother's sex life, or my friends' for that matter.

I think the DIL is getting a hard time here (like the OP nudge nudge wink wink :o) She caught them but it was the son who kicked off and threatened to withdraw the grandchild.

I dont see that the DIL has been vile to the OP, just the son.

Oh and if my son was like that to me I would tell him in no uncertain terms that he was welcome to pay £££ for paid childcare, and would have to if he ever threatened me again.

Good lord, OP - you gave up work to look after your DGD?

Listen up people like UnlikelyAmozonian and Clarabelle - this was not a one off 2 hour babysitting slot - the OP gave up her job to provide childcare which enabled her DS and DDIL to contuinue studies, following their own indiscretion!

OP, your DH is spot on, your DS and DDIL need to get over themselves - and just face up to the 360' embarrassment - should be a laugh really!

"I dont see that the DIL has been vile to the OP, just the son."

Quite.

I cannot wait for this dinner. I think it's going to be fab and you better update us OP.

Please tell us the DS who came in last night muttering 'unsavoury' is going to be there too?

My in-laws watch our dc sometimes, it really wouldn't bother me what they did whilst my children were sleeping in another room. Having said that I wouldn't want to catch them though.

Give it time and I bet it will blow over and DS and DIL will apologize for overreacting.

Stop fretting.

Hi. Sick of ants. I agree. I'm 38 and my sex life is better than it's ever been. I'm up for it permenatly. I only get it a few times week though as I don't live with d.p, but I'd be the 5 times a day type if it were an option. me and d.p are going to put in for a holiday from work for September and spend almost the week in bed.

OP - just wanted to say I think you have done nothing wrong.
My DM provides childcare for my DC and I wouldn't dream of dictating what she couldn't and couldn't do whilst my children slept.
I don't understand why it would be an issue. I'm genuinely confused my some of the view points on this thread.
Ignore them keep your head held high!

SMS from DSis
"Nearly there. See you in 20 mins.Shall i wait a little down the lane? LOL"

Much mileage to be made out of this.
This has made her summer.

Lordy Lord today's going to be a constant pun fest!

Will she be there for the dinner? I think she would be a valuable asset as her reaction will hopefully show your DS how silly he is being.

Can I suggest you have a Chinese takeaway and you and DH decided to share a number 69? :o

"yes we're coming. 19.00." LOL!

I feel for your and your DIL's embarassement: not the sort of thing I would want share with any in laws. I question your son's overreaction: is he happy with himself and/or in his relationship with your DDIL? Studying and children can put a lot of stress on a relationship and maybe having a go at his parents is just a symptom of something bubbling underneath.
Good luck.

Oh for sure you are never going to live this down. And I bet your sis rings the doorbell...

You absolutely have to have carefully presented bangers and mash for dinner

favadi I dont think its that complicated. He kicked off because in his head his parents are not supposed to be having sex, let alone anything like a 69 on the sofa! DIL was embarrassed and told him, he has gone into orbit but using the baby as an excuse for his over reaction.

Kids think they invented sex, so us old gimmers are not allowed to know about it never mind partake!

May I suggest a starter of Cock Soup

with Fanny for pudding

all washed down with a nice bottle of Arse

:o

Present Dil with a bottle of domestos re labeled as brain bleach.

Not sure what dontgotosleep's pont is but you seem rather proud of yerself!