The Brave Babes Battle Bus - In Search Of Sobriety, Sunshine & Survival!

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse :)

Welcome to the thread, or our mythical Bus called Gerald!

There is room for everyone. Always

There is help for everyone who wants it. Always

There is unconditional support and kindness. Always

We have two sentences that we believe in here -

1. • The Vulnerable Need Our Support, Not Our Judgement
2. • Alcohol Fosters Inertia

No matter what it is that you drink, how much, how often, we've ALL been in your position at one point or another...... so most of us WILL know exactly what it's like to be YOU

If you'd like to read the last thread, it's below -

THIS IS THE PREVIOUS THREAD

And if you want to read a pretty sobering thread and the history behind these many, the reason why we are all here, fighting to stay/get sober is here -

FIRST EVER BRAVE BABES THREAD

Hope to see you soon :)

Mouse x

Sorry about the sex free wry but well done on the alcohol free. Xx

MissP another one here who remembers you - how wonderful to hear that life is so good.

And Perdita - are you who I think you are? I hope things are more settled for you all, and please post some more xx

I am completely ignoring all references to running / jogging / exercising. ffs - this bus is sometimes more like a cross between a sweaty laundry and a gym changing room (complete with swishy hair and lean bodies). It makes me sort of hate all of you. I think it's just isindie and I who are not exposing ourselves to the dangers of exercise.

venus I still haven't dragged my bike from the back of the shed - the thought was there...maybe tomorrow...

I did however try to break into a slow jog when I walked the dog earlier but I was wearing wellies so it was a non-starter (even the dog looked at me as if I'd lost the plot). Luckily we were on a back road to the arse-end of nowhere so I didn't make a complete tit of myself..

Still, I gave it a go

MissP I remember you from reading old threads, you and your man boys! Sounds like you really changed the course of things, well done on 5 years!!

beaches. Well done. 2.5km is awesome. And the dog will be grateful. And your liver! Xx

Thank Soc , I do feel better for doing it but I have to force myself straight out of bed and into running shoes, that way a cup of tea and a bowl of cereal is my reward! I also keep telling the dog that this wouldn't be happening if I had been drinking the night before and she rolls out her tongue knowingly

I was thinking about your months of sobriety, did you feel differently this time? More determined or accepting perhaps or was it just an accumulation of days and the new outlet of running? I still struggle with the long term idea, even when I KNOW I am in a better mindset when I don't drink

Hi beaches. Yes something felt different this time, but not initially. At first it was just the usual terrible slog and I also felt terrified of 'giving up forever', but as I got more and more AF days done I felt/feel more fantastic and giving up forever is actually appealing rather than frightening. Now when I look back at my drunken behaviour I'm horrified at the thought of going back there. I think the more time you put between yourself and alcohol the more clear everything becomes. I really don't want to become that person again. My relationship with my children is amazing now and I can't risk that. Everything is better.

The running helps enormously. I think exercise is vital for depression too and I think a lot of us alcoholics suffer from depression whether it's caused by the alcohol or a cause who knows and who really cares. Keep up the running. It's a bit like going AF. Such an awful slog in the beginning but then you get past a certain point, it gets easier and suddenly you start loving it. Probably at the same time as being AF will get easier. Then you too, can join me in the Smug Seats. . Life is infinitely better these days. Highly recommend getting past those hard weeks/months. xxx

Thanks for that Soc, it is reassuring to hear that, the greater the distance from the last drink, the less frightening not drinking is. At the moment I feel that I have to be so, so vigilant, that I am quite vulnerable to temptation. I am hoping that so some new habits can add to the defence. (Although it could lead to a double fail - that's my anxiety voice). I agree about the depression too.

Your journey is very inspiring to me and I love hearing about the positives in your life. And yes, I fancy a place up there in smugville

Got to hit the sack now babe, have a good day x

beaches my anxiety has improved so significantly. Just keep going. The rewards are worth it. Don't pick up that first drink. I'll never forget some lovely old man saying that in my foray into AA. He said "it's really simple, just never pick up that first drink"

Always here for you (and anyone else) xx

Day 24 today and I will not be drinking

I've got some online training to do before I go to work
Have a good day everyone xxx

Good morning my lovely gals, sober you are doing so well and your positive energy radiates through your posts, I love your energy and joie de vivre, keep inspiring us. miss p how thoughtful to come back and give us such lovely feedback on sobriety and the changes possible with determination and strengh. So happy life is good for you.

perdita good to have you with us, lots of lovely gals on here to help, big hugs to you

sober your so right about depression and alcohol, I can't remember what came first but for the moment I can control the drinking but my anxiety and very manic mood swings need to be exhausted so I'm between running or cycling, what led you to running??? Is it better for depression do you think??

Lots and lots of love to all babes everywhere, I luffs you all xxxx

Hello there, lovely people of the bus. I have just popped on to say hello. I am dealing with many issues right now and can barely breathe, never mind think coherently.

To be frank, drinking or not is the least of my issues right now. But i can't really divulge all that is going on as it is intensely confidential. Lets just say they are work, family and health related issues all jumbled up in one huge nightmare.

Love to you all.

little I totally respect your need to keep information private, just post if you need a friend or feel overwhelmed, I hope you sort everything out, remember we're here for you xxx

I am so pissed off right now. Did we actually have a holiday? If it was all just a dream, how come I'm still shaking sand out of our laundry?

(Warning: rant ahead)

Spent 45 minutes on the phone to the bank, to be told they still couldn't help me unless I phoned back with more information. And they wouldn't tell me what the possible outcome would be even if I did phone back, so I don't know if it would be a waste of time.

Ever since the holiday, DD has been complaining about sore feet (and she's a drama queen, so she whines a lot) Turns out she has flat feet/bunions - so why the hell didn't any of the so-called 'highly-trained staff' at Clarks ever point this out since we bought ALL her shoes from there because they're supposed to be "the best" ? Oh that's right, because they are fucking useless, it's all a con, their staff barely look older than DD, and whenever we asked if her feet looked odd they probably didn't hear because of the stupid fucking headphones they wear to stop them actually interacting with customers. [part of my anger may come from the guilt that I didn't take her to the doctors sooner] Now starts a merry-go-round of GPs, NHS waiting lists, chiropodists, orthotics, new shoes and more whining from DD and threatening letters from the bank.

And tomorrow I have to go to a urodynamics test! Never had this before but really not looking forward to it, as I think they are going to stick catheters in every orifice they can find. Maybe even some I didn't know I had.

Yes I have alcohol and chocolate. I can't decided whether to save the wine for tomorrow after the hospital appointment. Sadly, I feel the decision is dependant on DDs mood when I pick her up/ DHs mood when he comes home. I AM FRUSTRATED.

(Rant over)
(Thanks for reading, if anyone still is)

Hey joey

Clarks suck- 'tis a well known fact. I bet they told you that one of her feet is half a size bigger than the other- because that's what the useless buggers tell everyone.

Banks- also pretty sucky and not in the least bit helpful. Would cheerfully go back to goat bartering as a currency and bank and their non helpful help lines would be redundant.

Test- I had a cathether 'done' when I had ds. I had been terrified of it and made an enormous fuss. I didn't even bloody feel it

Good luck with it all and I don't blame you on the booze & chocolate front.

Aww thanks guys. You're right, I did forget to breathe! It's true, the catheters aren't supposed to hurt much - I googled a bit. Unfortunately I found stories of people suffering far worse than me, and that just made me feel guilty about having it done.

How are you both doing?

Hi joey I typed you a nice long post and lost it twice so can you make do with a hug, a big squishy heartfelt hug, good luck tomorrow babe, thinking of you as always xx

guggs I like the goat idea! I wonder what a Billy goat would get me? Some new discs and pads for the car would be good.

joey I used to be an automated Clark's shopper, it is drilled into us from the early on but I also woke upto the nonsense of it. I do not have perfect feet despite enduring their half sizes and narrow widths. Hope your dd gets sorted nice and simply. I have also had catheters and agree the idea of them is the worst bit. Good luck.

Spanna 24 days is fantastic, go you!!

little

baby I imagine any exercise works, it's that endorphin thing I have been doing a bit of cycling with the boys lately and top of my birthday list is some new handlebars so I can sit up properly like the witch in wizard of oz be more comfortable.

Waves to all other bus babes

Finally found you all. Couldn't find the threads I'm on on this sodding site! Scared to scroll back in case I lose you all again so sorry for no name checks. Had a really disappointing day today, something I was so looking forward to has been cancelled. I am gutted. It was holding me together and now its gone. However I haven't cracked. Day 3 amazingly. Think I am so pissed off with life that I'm showing it I can do this!! Fucking fed up though

beaches I didn't mean the properly trained 'old-school' ones, rather the young kids they have nowadays. Like I said, partly our own fault anyway.

ma you're having such a tough time, my heart goes out to you

Thanks alias .some of it is of my own making though. It was nice to have the escapism for a while but actually it just made the reality worse. Like when your eyes are used to the dark and then someone turns the light on and it dazzles for a while. But then,when it's turned off, the darkness is even darker until you get used to it again.
And this is me stone cold sober! .
I'm an ungrateful cow really. So much to be thankful for compared to many. Just need to find my path again. I got a bit..erm..distracted and lost there for a while.

I know what you are saying joey the old school ones did seem much more knowledgable. I think it was the toys and flashing lights phase that made me wonder why they were supposed to be a better brand.

Ma you ungrateful cow bag! I don't mean it, in fact I really like the 'eyes adjusting' analogy and hope that things feel more settled soon. Day 3 is fantastic, well done.

ma we all get distracted at times

Evening lovely babes,

soc just never pick up that first drink. So simple. So true. And that's it. I am still AF, and if I can do it on my holidays, when temptation is in my way - well I reckon it could be a doer. I'm feeling so positive at the moment, however it may be due to no work stresses, but hey, I'll take that. When I read how life is for you, that's what I want for me. xx

spanna how are you my lovely? Did you get your work stuff done and dusted? Day 24? I am beaming for you, that is flippin amazing and no mistake!

baby How are you sweetpea? You keeping fine today? I thank you for giving me a nudge to start riding again, I went riding again today, and I felt free and weightless and energised. I think there is one big smile on my face from start to finish, my cheeks ache when I get off. xx

little I'm sending you a massive bosie, I hope you have someone to speak to my lovely, or at very least someone to hug. We are here for you, just pop in to say hello when you can, so we know you are okay, I hope things improve for you soon, xx

joey your post made me smile, I remember the true hell of the Clarks foot squeezy machine...I was convinced that it would malfunction one day and make my feet doll sized. Now I wish I could go back in time and let the shitter squidge my feet into something that would fit in pretty shoes. I have flat, square feet. Limits pretty. I live in DMs, all styles. Perfect.

Don't panic about tomorrow, it will be fine, you'll see. Thought is worse than the reality, pick a subject that you know relaxes you and chatter away, it'll be over before you know it, xx

ma och I'm sorry you had your little bit of joy cancelled. You'll find your path again, you know. So you got a wee bit distracted..so you got a bit dazzled..I reckon it was a little life belt for you when you felt you were drowning. You grabbed on to it when you were too weary to tread water anymore. Well done on day 3, I'm that proud of ye! xx

venus I am not gym bunny material either. I cheat and sit on horseflesh. And I buy my jodhs from Fuller Fillies. More thigh room doncha know. I walk my dog, yup, but now she's arthritic tis fairly gentle paced. I wish I could run, but as I've said before, I run like Phoebe from friends. That and I shake the ground more than Clydesdales cantering past. xx

Waves to beaches, guggs, isinde and lynn (love your name, gotta love a dab o Partridge! )

I have loved these holidays, spending time with Little, spending time on me and trying to keep to my diet. I won't weigh myself until I get back to work on Monday. My jeans feel a little slacker though. But, like the lovely Clairee from Steel Magnolias said, my arse still looks like two pigs fighting under a blanket.

In case anyone is worried about the horse, he is a massive 18hh and all muck and muscle. God love him.

Night night lovely babes, big bosies to one and all. xx