The Brave Babes Battle Bus - In Search Of Sobriety, Sunshine & Survival!

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse :)

Welcome to the thread, or our mythical Bus called Gerald!

There is room for everyone. Always

There is help for everyone who wants it. Always

There is unconditional support and kindness. Always

We have two sentences that we believe in here -

1. • The Vulnerable Need Our Support, Not Our Judgement
2. • Alcohol Fosters Inertia

No matter what it is that you drink, how much, how often, we've ALL been in your position at one point or another...... so most of us WILL know exactly what it's like to be YOU

If you'd like to read the last thread, it's below -

THIS IS THE PREVIOUS THREAD

And if you want to read a pretty sobering thread and the history behind these many, the reason why we are all here, fighting to stay/get sober is here -

FIRST EVER BRAVE BABES THREAD

Hope to see you soon :)

Mouse x

Yes, poor man seems to be in a terrible state

Little, congrats to your dd, great results. Is she going on to do A Levels now?

Ma if you think it was the wrong decision, is there no going back?

fairenuff DD will be going on to do the International Baccalaureate. That's two years of pure hell right there! DD1 did it so I know what to expect this time.

What does it involve little?

They do 6 subjects: 3 at a standard level and 3 at a higher level. They must do maths, English, a foreign language and at least one science. They also do an extended essay on a subject of their choice 4000 words and they do a subject called Theory of Knowledge and they do an essay for that.

On top of that that have to do CAS ( creativity, activity and service) of around 150 hours over the two years.

Each subject is worth 7 points and the two essays can have a max of 3 points so 45 is the top mark you can gain.

DD1 got 35 points in hers which was excellent and got her into Glasgow uni with ease.

It's bloody hard work but sets them up so well for uni. The whole concept is that the youngsters will be global citizens and independent thinkers.

Bet you wish you had never asked!

Wow, that sounds like so much work!! Good for them, hope it pays off big time

Hi my lovelies, thanks for all your amazing support, it really does help knowing you guys are here for me, honest to God,

ma I often think of you and wonder how you remain so lovely, I know your marriage does not make you happy and yet you continue to put others before yourself with such good grace. I'm crap at "making do" I wish I could, on the face of it my life's not that bad compared to some but I just can't put Up and shut I'm, I wonder that my expectations are too high, my parents are soul mates to this day and they are each one half of the same jigsaw and I have never had that after giving my all to 2 marriages it makes me sad and tired.

On a lighter note I'm so glad your lovely boy and little's dd have done so brilliantly, I'm not the least bit surprised, your both amazing, wonderful mums, your posts tell me that every day.

I really love you all too bits, I'm all at sea with my life but this bus is my constant anchor of hope.

Xxxx

Well baby I do believe my eyes might be experiencing a little dampness.

Love to you. xxx

Darling baby, I wish I could just sweep you up in my bosie and make everything right again. I was a shite to my mam as a teenager, which appals me now. My mam is Bambi personified, if I could take those few years back I would do so, it makes me weep as her love never faltered.

She may not have liked me very much, I reckon, but she never retaliated. I wish she had, it may have justified the awful way I used to speak to her. Your daughter will feel this regret one day, please know I'm sure she doesn't mean it. I put it down to hormones, and learning how to process the whirling thoughts and demons spinning through my teenage head. baby know that you have all the unconditional love and support you could want on this here bus, I wish I could take some of your pain for you, on my big, strong, fat shoulders. I would you know.
Xx

ma! I hope your decision doesn't make you the saddest in a pile of happy... I hope you have some gorgeous "distraction" coming your way again soon, you sound like it may be your only oasis of smile that's yours. On a happier note... Ye must be fair chuffed wi your lad! What a corker of a first week! Xx

little the pride comes whirling through in your post! Fabulous news! It sounds like it turns out well rounded individuals to face the world, always a bonus andust do wonders for inner confidence. (I'm a cooncil quine too!) Xx

Catch you later lovely folk, xx

And must ...

Well done to your dd little and thank you babes for your kind comments. I saw a thing on Facebook today which said " I was so busy being everyone's anchor that I didn't realise I was drowning." Made me cry.
wry it is the,er, distraction that called for the decision....:-(
Ah well, it was nice to dream for a wee while

Oh my wonderful wry I gratefully accept your bosie and a wee lie doon in a horse box. The smell of horses always comforts me, it reminds me of being young and full of zest for life, I always knew I was lucky to have wonderful parents who made my life so rich, full of love and sacrificed everything so I could ride horses and do ballet, the things that brought me so much joy. I feel sad that wee girl had to grow up and realise through horrible years with Crohn's pain and 2 hurtful relationships that life doesn't always hold the promise I so believed in. I feel grateful for my lovely kids and wonderful parents and for now I will try to lose weight, get fit and be happy for what I have, not what I haven't. Thank you for being you.

ma I suspected the distraction was indeed the decision, life puts situstions and people in our lives for a reason, forever is a long time to make do, you deserve happiness, this ain't no dress rehearsal babe, this is it...

I know I'm biased but everyone I've encountered on this bus are the most genuinely nicest, kindest people I've ever came across in my life, maybe that's why we all have issues with alcohol, we're just too goddam nice for this cruel and unfair world...

Bit profound for a Friday night but I'm forever grateful fate brought us all together, we will always have each other.

Mushy but heartfelt my lovely friends xxx

Good morning everyone

Baby lovely, you really are 'going through it' I read back at about 6.30am and I've been lying in bed and contemplating relationships, children, parenthood, our parents etc etc Firstly, most teenagers are vile creatures (especially girls!) I for one was really awful, I spoke to my Mum like a piece of shit (similarly to my DD1 does to me now) when you're 'in it' it is so hard to see it from the outside so that you can reflect and put it into prospective.

A daughter's first love is their father (as a son's is their mother) They can do no wrong (this extends to their new partner sometimes too) there is nothing you can do about 'the step mother is nicer, better, prettier than you' syndrome. Their relationship will go up and down over time, mainly depending on how your X is with your daughter, if he's behaving in the way that she wants him too it will all be rosie until that changes, which it will in time. These bits you won't know about because you will only hear the good bits. Especially when DD is comparing you to her.

There is quite a good book about teenagers (sorry if you already know about it) 'How to talk so teens will listen & listen so teens will talk' (it is American, so a few Americanism) but I found it really useful.

In relationships I do think, whether your married, had partner for years, had kids with someone or not, that the woman is the one that holds it all together, they are the backbone if you like. From entertaining the DC, to making sure their uniform is sorted, their emotional needs, booking holidays etc etc And as women we have this expectation of our man that it will all be equal, perfect, balanced and when it isn't there is a huge disappointment. I for one spent years thinking it will be alright in the end because he knows my ultimate reasons that we've decided to be together and we're working towards this goal together. As women we are so determined to make things work. My brother pointed out recently (when we were stuck on a car journey together) that had my X-partner not left me, I would still be with him today and do you know what, he was absolutely right! My X did me a favour because he took the decision away from me and left. That was nearly 5 years ago and I was devastated, to say the least, and so angry, how dare he, I used to say. Anyway, I am OK, I did survive, I am much less angry, It is lonely but I know where I'm at, my girls are fine, we are skint (as I have not had a penny from X)

Like you said - this is not a dress rehearsal, this is it I'm going to post this now before it gets lost - sorry that it is so long......

spanna you are so right about the role of the woman. Being everything for everyone just sucks the life out of you until there is nothing of the original left.

I have a massage with the lovely Derek today. Should be enough unhappiness and tension in me to keep him occupied!

Baby sorry me again! I also had post natal depression with DD2 (knew there was something not quite right and wasn't diagnosed until she was 2)
Anyway, I have a 5 year gap between my DDs, yours is more, what I'm trying to say is, my DD1 was devastated when my DD2 came along, not only was I not myself, but all (most) of my attention had gone from her to the baby. This left my DD1 in a pickle and she very much went into herself. Their father was always away and I found it hard to balance it all. My daughter used to say and still does sometimes, why did you have to have another child, we were so much better off without her Fundamentally I know that my girls love each other (although they act like they hate each other) hopefully they will be good friends when they reach their 20s.
Keep letting your DD1 know how much you love her. Have you ever written her a letter to let her know how you feel and how she's making you feel? Even if you write it and don't give it to her, it could be a good thing for you to do. Baby you are a brilliant Mum. We all have such high expectations of ourselves, this is part of the problem. Please be kind to yourself, your DD1 does love you very much, she's just finding life hard at the moment, that really is being a teenager, I promise you this. My heart goes out to you and I am sending you strength, love and patience to keep going

Ma I'm sorry to hear about your decision, it's such a bummer to take the sensible option (do the right thing). Twas not meant to be, but your time will come

Enjoy your massage, relish it !!!

Great news re DS first week back, that is such a positive start to his year

Baby my X had a 'hands off' parenting style and basically left it all to me. He would be away quite often with work and when he came home my DDs would wrap him in his glory, he could do know wrong. I was always the Bad Cop and him Prince Charming. If there was any 'telling off' to be done it was me that did it. Does this sound familiar? Used to drive me insane

I am a proud Mum, my DD1 (15) did 3 GCSEs early and she got 2Cs and a D and I am so chuffed, as very little if any revision was done. She done good, she got Graphics and History The D was in Science which she can do again next May.

Day 20 and I will not be drinking today

Spanna sweetheart, day 20 is absolutely awesome and your success is driving me on too. (Not to put pressure on you but just so you know it's catching). I am really sorry that your dh buggered off and left you all high and dry but am so glad that you have found a way to see it as a favour in the long run. Being lonely with someone can be just as bad as being lonely on your own. Look what a fab job you are doing as a mum and as a woman. Well done to your smart dd! I am hoping teenage boys may be slightly easier but never having a brother or any boys in close proximity really puts me in the dark . Have a good day babe xx

baby I read your post yesterday and felt both sad and impressed. On the one hand it is awful to think of you feeling lonely and undervalued when you are clearly such a sweet sweet lady. But I am so impressed that you are so brave to reach out, to say when you are struggling. Sometimes showing vulnerability is really hard. Hope today is a good day.

little wow! Your girls are frighteningly high achievers

ma your little fella too! Glad he has had a good first week. Enjoy Derek and his magic hands.

Soc good luck with the half marathon babe run babe, run!

Annie alternate nights seems a pretty good plan, I hope your housework is done quickly and that you treat yourself to some relaxation and fun on your time off babe x

Waves to faire, wry, isinde, Margaret, rural, joey, mouse, venus and all other brave babes

Waves also to guggs and hope and welcome to Snazzy.

Hello Babes! We're back from Wales.

Good afternoon babes - lovely to read some positive posts, seems the DC of this bus are as wonderful fabulous as their mums!

I was working night shift last night so avoided the wine witch completely, it was also a bonus not to get stuck in to a killer shift with a hangover from the night before.

Hasn't stopped old vinegar tits whispering from in my ear the minute I've woken up - from "it's the Bank Holiday, g'wan, treat yourself!" to wrestling with the fantasy that I could perhaps moderate (never going to happen, I'm no good at moderating and the truth is I'm only good at doing shitfaced, I want 6,7,8... fall into bed oblivious drinks, not 2

So today I won't be drinking chews nails and holds on for dear life

Sorry,going to have a winge. I'm just so fecking tired all the time. I don't seem to have a second to myself and I'm worn out.

Can everyone (not you lot) all go away and leave me alone please?

It's not a health problem i'm just tired and broke. Do love ds and dh but snap at them all the time.

Bugger. Right will pull self together because there's nothing wrong that a bloody good rest couldn't sort out. Much love and sympathy to all- can see that there are babes who are having a hard time of it right now.

I will not be drinking today.

guggs here, have an opal fruit. I understand the knackered feeling.
Dd2 has a rash. I have just spent 5 minutes putting sudocrem on her bum. She is nearly 21 takes me back.
Had a fabulous massage with Derek and also talked and talked and he listened and understood and made me laugh and I feel so much better. Everyone needs a Derek in their life. I am now seeing distracted chap as a catalyst for change, not as a lost opportunity and I need to change an awful lot of things, the booze being only one. Put your shades on babes, ma is about to shine!

Hi guys, spanna thanks for your lovely supportive post, it's so touching that a stranger should be so incredibly understanding about little ole me but it warms my heart that you do.

My councillor asked me out of the blue last week what my favourite type of restaurant was, I said "it depends who I'm with, with mum it's a steakhouse, dh it's Italian, kids it's a burger chain" she said "no I asked what your favourite is" I said "I don't honestly know, I don't really think about what I like". The point being I dont even know my own opinions anymore, I was a whole separate person once with my own dreams, opinions, interests and hopes, now I don't even know what I like to eat, how pathetic is that.

I suspect that's the same for everyone of us, we're on the autopilot of life, jack of all trades, master of none. I've decided to look at myself and the things that make me unhappy and my weight is high on that list. I don't miss wine, I miss the reward, the release and food has became my new solace, well no more, there should be no solace, just a rich fulfilling life and I suspect I will get more respect from dh and dd's if I shown them I'm worthy and capable of making that happen.

Tonight I will get the SW books out and start my first very first attempt at running tomorrow.

As a former dancing teacher, I have found a ballet at tap class for adults which will get me out of the house 2 nights a week and SW on another so I'm challenging every one of you to start a new challenge, any kind that makes you feel good and start it this week with me!!!! I'm going to posts before I lose it and come back shortly xxx

Never mind the measly opal fruit, here, have a whole bag of skittles, mmmmm

(except the greens ones, of course)

I thought you were on holiday guggs, what's keeping you so busy?

Ma I'm sure you dd would thank you for sharing that with us, if only she knew

Yay for distracted chap being a catalyst!!

right, so I did not make it through day 10 really really let myself down, started off ok sipping cider from a wine glass, just going to have a couple and stop but ww came in with a whirl of her glittery cloak and I was gone. two bottles of wine later and DH came down at 3am to find me asleep face down on the kitchen floor in a pool of blood. I got shitfaced and fell cutting a hole in my lip and nose what a state. I feel really awful today, and am starting to accept that I can't do moderation. its all or nothing so I really need to think seriously about going for nothing. I am so ashamed that I let myself do this to myself