The Brave Babes Battle Bus - In Search Of Sobriety, Sunshine & Survival!

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse :)

Welcome to the thread, or our mythical Bus called Gerald!

There is room for everyone. Always

There is help for everyone who wants it. Always

There is unconditional support and kindness. Always

We have two sentences that we believe in here -

1. • The Vulnerable Need Our Support, Not Our Judgement
2. • Alcohol Fosters Inertia

No matter what it is that you drink, how much, how often, we've ALL been in your position at one point or another...... so most of us WILL know exactly what it's like to be YOU

If you'd like to read the last thread, it's below -

THIS IS THE PREVIOUS THREAD

And if you want to read a pretty sobering thread and the history behind these many, the reason why we are all here, fighting to stay/get sober is here -

FIRST EVER BRAVE BABES THREAD

Hope to see you soon :)

Mouse x

haha don't know what the supermarket opening hours / licensing hours are where you live, but I found it easier to go to the supermarket after 10pm when there was no alcohol on sale, or to go to the little local shops - greengrocer, butcher, etc. Or to buy online and id all the drink options.

Try it all out - it is a great life experiment and you will find out little by little which approaches really work for you (and maybe which ones don't).

haha well done. First few days/weeks are hell. So any day you make it through sober is brilliant. It gets much easier. And don't worry about waffle. We like waffle. Actuallly I love waffles. Ate one last night with ice cream and chocolate.

Now I'm imaging wry up to all sorts venus.

Haha waffle all you want Day 3 is amazing WELL DONE, you done good, so Day 4 and it's Friday Do you have any plans? Don't worry about your eating at the moment, your body is wanting missing sugar normally consumed with the booze. Have you tried any combinations of soft drinks yet? on ice, some of them are yum. Someone mentioned AF Mojitos (can't spell) they sound promising. You are sober and isn't it good waking up with a clear head, on so many levels

Wry oh yes, a man in britches sounds like you've got a packed week full of horsey shenanigans. Can't wait to hear all about horsey hunks the beautiful horses Have fun babe and enjoy yourself

Day 18 done, good night all x

Baby sorry little one's not been too good, I hope she gets better soon it can be so tiring when they're on you all the time. Big squeeze of strength to you honey. I've been thinking about running too, never done it before, not since school it must be catching

Hello haha, keep going my lovely, you're doing brilliantly! What's a few kettle chips between pals? Whatever it takes, one day at a time!

I am pampering, it helps to keep my mind off awd saggy tits. Coconut water and sparkling water here. Ice cold, in a very fancy glass.

You'll be grand, have a wee look at soc's list from the other night, a whole heap of loveliness we can look forward to! I am on day 6 after a wee wobble.

Slept right through last night and was clear eyed, clear skinned and clear headed today. Fab feeling!

Haud gaun, haha, this bus will be with you every step! Xx

If this bus was a film, what film would we be?

I would be played by Daniela Nardini, I'm awful like her face wise, but with short fat legs. xx

Good Morning Soc how you doing? is it getting warmer down there? x

Wry you are so naughty

Yes, thank god. Think it's going to be 18 degrees today. I'm starting to thaw. I love the heat. Friday morning here. I don't even think about drinking any more. The only time it creeps up is when I'm stressed or irritated and if I ride through those I'm good. A far cry from a few weeks/months ago when a sober Friday was so so hard. Now I just spit at WW and she disappears with her tail between her legs.

Summer is my next challenge, but fuck that. I'm staying sober.

Hi lovely babes.

Day 9 done. Ah, the luxury of getting into a clean bed sober . Definitely worth remembering. Night all xx

Hi my lovelies, I'm having a really shit time at the mo. My relationship with dh is near the end I think. He does very little with dd's and is totally selfish, not cruel or unkind but lacks any sense of family commitment as he was shown none himself, I on the other hand was the worshipped only child so our expectations are probably both a bit extreme in the opposite direction. I had a slip last weekend and it was purely down to my terrible sense of loneliness and despair and now my dd is back to hating me again and my 3 year old is wild and barely sleeps and I'm just so disappointed and feel so alone. I know I will not drink, I slipped up once and I'm treated like scum by a teenage dd who is always criticising me and telling me how wonderful a mother figure her stepmum is and I'm fat and useless, I know she's angry because I took post natal depression and "left her" for a while but I'm still her mother. I feel trapped, fat, old and resentful and then all that makes me feel guilty. Sorry for me me me post but I need to get this out of my head or I will go insane and this new format has just pushed me too far!!!!

wry loving your horsey tales, still making me smile.

Infact you all make me smile and feel cared about and stop me from losing the plot completely.

Big hugs
Xxx

Oh baby I am so sorry to hear you are having such a bad time. ((())) hugs for you.

Please don't hate yourself. You had a slip up. So what. You are only human. We all slip up at times.

I suspect there is something about getting to around a particular age when these feelings of being "trapped, fat, old and resentful" are actually pretty common. I am certainly in that place too if it is any comfort.

Keep posting and we will all keep supporting. Keep your chin up and i am sure you will weather the storm.

baby, so sorry that you're feeling like this but so glad you posted. Bear in mind, it's normal for teenagers to be scornful and critical. You could be a perfectly groomed, slim, impeccably behaved child entertainer extraordinaire and she would still find fault.

The only thing I can suggest is to remind her how to talk to you. Stroppy behaviour is one thing and can often be overlooked but she is not to make personal attacks on you. If she does there will be a consequence.

Yes, she's angry but she has to learn a better way to deal with it. Not easy I know when you are tired and run down yourself. Focus on you for a bit. A couple of days detoxing will make you feel so much better. Fill yourself up with fruit and soups, treat yourself to a face pack, or haircut/colour, or new nail polish, new book, hell even a new pillow, whatever small treat you would like.

Get some rest whenever you can. Can you get ds out to the park or somewhere where he can run off some of that energy? Then snuggle up for a film in the afternoon and maybe just rest?

Anyway, sending strength and love. Stick with us xxx

Permission to climb aboard gerald, if I may?

It's been a long time since I last posted on this bus (I popped on and off a few years ago under a different name, the lovely Mouse might remember me but doubt anyone else will!). I've always read the goings-on of this mad bus though, whether I've been drunk/sober or somewhere in between and think you're all amazing. I often wonder how Jesus is doing, reckon she's still as amazing and glam as ever!

I'm currently on day 11 - I stopped drinking for 11 wonderful weeks at the beginning of the year, felt great; years of anxiety/depression shrank away to virtually nothing and I felt in control of my life. But yep, for some mad reason I picked up again and before I knew it I was right back to square one. Had a disgusting binge 12 days ago, almost lost my sanity and felt paranoid and suicidal. Was in bed for 2 days, 2 days that my DC didn't have me 'present' as it were. Which fucking disgusts me. Decided I'd sailed far to close to the wind for the last time - my family need me around and I can't risk my DC growing up without me for the sake of a posion that adds nothing to my life other than misery.

So I'm on day 11 - having done 11 weeks previously I'm somewhat accepting of the sugar cravings, weight gain, random dreams and skin that looks like a dot-to-dot activity because I know it won't be long until I feel and look better. But if it's OK I'd like to slink up to the back of the bus and bag a seat as I'd quite like to make it past week 11 this time.

Welcome back lynns

baby sorry you are feeling down, you've had a slip up but it doesn't take away how far you've come. I dare say your dd is hurt, angry, scared but that does not excuse her attacks on you. She might not like you right now - what teenager does like their parents?? - but whilst she's under your roof she needs to learn to button it.

I wish I had some practical suggestions to make but I struggle with lonliness myself, and a relationship that isn't working. i'd so looked forward to some time off work but now it's here I have nothing much to do - apart from housework - and every evening I want to sink into a bottle of wine. I haven't but I'm floundering, having wine every other night so in that context your slip up is very minor indeed.

Well done on day nine beaches

Waves to all babes, I'm off to clean the kitchen cupboards, h is out so I feel more motivated to get on when I don't have to watch him sat on his lazy arse grr

baby I've only got 2 mins to post.

You are a wonderful,wonderful babe,I don't recognise that description you give of yourself.

As for having a slip? HA! Find me the babe who hasn't. Teenage girls are hardwired to be critical so don't pay too much notice to her. None here is a saint,or expects you to be. Just get up and accept some help and a big hug form us all. x

Have some

snazzy love the name and I'd be glad to buddy up with you, I was 3 months sober and had 1 minor slip last weekend, thing is sobriety has many wonderful benefits but it has also shown me why a bottle of wine became my companion, facing reality sober is hard and the changes you know you need to be happy are even more so. Right now we shall do it together ODAAT and I will love myself and throw myself into my diet and fitness regime. I will have swishy hair and dewy skin and a figure to allow me to wear fabulous clothes and best of all I have this amazing, wonderful bus,

Ps running songs, I heard "ride on time" this morning and "take me dancing naked in the rain" sounded fab as ever, Crikey I must be so sex deprived I'm subliminally responding to saucy titles, oooo errrr.

Thanks faire and little really needed those wee posts to perk me up, see there I go again "perky", smiling for now xxx

Baby thank you, I would love to buddy up, my eldest DD is 15 and for the majority of the time nothing I say or do is good enough, she can be so very hurtful at times and it's not always easy to not let such childish behaviour erode at your self-esteem.

We've had a really tough 18 months with her, for various reasons, then on Monday evening I got a phone call to say she was in A&E drunk; her and a few friends had shared a bottle of vodka and she'd become unwell and an ambulance was called. I walked into the cubicle to find her in a ball, vomit in her hair. I felt a mixture of fear, guilt and hypocrisy; granted she's never seen me as drunk as that only by sheer fluke and I'm praying it was an afternoon of teenage experimentation but what a wake-up call. Thank god I was sober and could collect her, the old "Do as I say, not as I do" line isn't going to wash with a headstrong teenager, so I really must keep on fighting this with everything I have. I've managed to hide a lot of my empties drinking from the DCs but maybe I'm deluding myself, they've certainly seen me put away more than the recommended units over the years, even if it's been dressed up as mum having a few vinos in front of the TV when they're in bed. It's not good enough.

I really want the apples to fall as far away from this old tree as much as possible

What a ramble, sorry everyone. But better not to lie and mask the harsh reality of what my life and that of those around me might become if I don't get my shit together!

I don't think me lying in bed with a 2 day 'migraine' last week was good enough either, I'm lying to those I love and cherish and the irony is I've always encouraged healthy communication, truth and trust with my DCs, with me the giant fraud faking and winging it.

Witter witter ramble ramble....

snazzy my oldest dd is 15 and my youngest dd is 3, my teenager has seen me drunk, it's not a regular thing but when life gets too much I binge for a day or 2 as I'm so so unhappy in my relationship and have battled post natal depression. She uses it to punish me at every turn and it's affecting the way my 3 year old is behaving . Dh and I barely speak so I feel very very overwhelmed. Im sure we can support each other, the babes on here are fab. guggs I love ya girlfriend xxxxx

Sounds bloody tough going baby, but you're here and wanting to change things which is such a brave step to take. 3 months without booze is an amazing acheivement, when we have a blip it's easy to focus on the negative and beat ourselves up but don't forget the progress you've made and will continue to make. Put your blip to bed and let's get our 'Game Faces' on

Welcome snazzy
baby sorry you are feeling so low. I can vry much relate to the " old,fat,trapped,resentful" feeling. That's me at the moment too. Had a very big decision to make about my life this week and have made the wrong one. It is of course, the right one for everyone else and therefore the right one! But God, what I would give to have been able to take the other option.......

Anyway, back to the real world and Ds had had a good week at school and got 3 stickers in French and all of his maths right except one " which I think is quite good, really." Bless.

Here is something to cheer you all up. I am going to have an out and proud boast.

My lovely DD (age 16) got 3 A* and the rest A's in her GCSE'S. She is smart, beautiful and lovely. I wish i could say she takes it from me but she is without doubt just like her dad in every way.

For those who are thinking "But littlewhitebag lives in Scotland?" We do, but DD is a posho private school girl. Unlike her mother who is a 'cooncil' girl all the way.

Your dd's results are fantastic little :)

Oh ma it's the pits, constantly making the 'right' decisions for everyone else, knowing that it's not the right one for you :(

Just been reading the lastest news reports on Paul Gascoigne, so sad...