DRY 5

[allhailqueenmab]

Starting this before the old one gets filled up!
this is the thread for the alcohol free.
Join us!

cornchips, I am doing slim fast, meal replacement and it works well for me as I can be a lazy eater, not eating til I'm starving then eating junk. The diet your trying sounds similar, the trick for me is if I do get hungry in between shakes and 1 meal at night, to make sure I eat fruit, not junk. I only have to lose about half a stone and not getting too hooked on food problems as went days without eating in my drinking days ending up at an unhealthy 7 stones
I wouldn't be at all comfortable in a beer garden with everyone enjoying it with a drink.went to a fair not to long ago, too uncomfortable so took myself away
watching your son enjoy icecream......absolutely priceless
x

oh, and soubds like we're all turning into avid gardeners. maybe we will all get hooked and be opening our gardens for charuty like the posh rich country folk

No worries Cornchips. Just been watching Frozen with my DD so am all red and puffy eyed. That film just kills me every time .....

Hi I posted on the old thread - just wondering what does everyone tell acquaintances about not drinking ?

snowie, simple, no thank you I don't want a drink.
don't have to explain myself, and find no one else cares anyway.like it's been said before, as long as they can get theirs they are not bothered.

Yeah I know ! It's a bit of a battle at times though. DH doesn't seem to mind either way it's just I'm thinking of work social situations etc i actually think I would have to lie and say I'm on tablets or something because I will be judged and it will be assumed that I'm an alcoholic.

Anyway looking forward to being booze free because when I drink I smoke too utterly ridiculous. I have a audio self hypnosis book on my iPhone & I found it worked very well last time.

Hi Snowie. I have told close friends I am doing a 100 day challenge. They think it's just a kind of health kick thing. I am exactly half way through . But not planning on stopping at day 100 ...

Acquaintances - yes as Staying suggests, I just say "not for me thanks". You can also say "I'll have a soda water for the moment" suggesting that you might have something stronger later.

It's rare anyone actually cares. The people that care are generally people with their own alcohol issues. I was a terrible Mrs Doyle (go on, go on, go on) if anyone said they weren't drinking because of being up early/sports etc. .

I was up before my entire family this am. How lovely to have 30 minutes peace on this lovely sunny morning.

Also - for anyone starting out, I have realised that the whole "Friday/Saturday night I MUST have a drink" trigger has more or less gone for me. This was a massive thing for me before. I just couldn't envisage how you wouldn't sit down and neck at least a bottle of wine because I had got through a week. (Obviously I drank most of the other days of the week too, but Friday was always massively to excess). Yes, I still have pangs when I am in social settings etc but the whole day of the week thing has really dissipated by day 50. Quicker than I thought really.

Happy sober Sunday folks.

It is great I did it for a year enjoyed everything booze free - holidays, Xmas, birthdays etc ! I think I was a better mother never hungover & got lots of lovely sleep. Also took up crafting. I'm not sure why I took it up again I think maybe when I got to Xmas I was off it 9 months & started getting bored. I has originally said I would try the year & when I got to the year I would have a right to say "I don't drink" rather than "I've given up". Wish I'd never gone back on it now ! Anyway Day 2 :))

Hi all,

Just checking in to see how everyone is doing and to post an update.

Now into my eighth month of being alcohol free. Went out for lunch with an old friend yesterday in my favourite restaurant, and as I have been on a weight loss regime since June 9th (I was one of those who gained loads of weight - 15lbs in five months - after giving up booze because I swapped my wine addiction for cake ) and this was the first time I had eaten out in a while, I was worried about busting my diet. It was also playing on my mind whether I would be tempted to have wine or not - as this friend is known to like a drink and we have had some right boozy lunches in the past. I also haven't mentioned to her that I've packed up. It's not someone I see regularly - maybe three, four times a year for either shopping, a coffee, or the occasional lunch.

However, it was a breeze - friend ordered a diet coke and I ordered a sparkling mineral water. Wine wasn't mentioned, and its absence at the table wasn't missed. We had a lovely lunch and a good old natter, and when I came home and logged what I ate on MFP - I was within my calorie limit for the day. So a booze free lunch with an old mate that didn't blow my diet. And we both drove home.

Every month that passes without alcohol in my life, makes me wonder why in hell I drank for so many years, plus I wish I had all the money I spent on the fermented grape juice with which I used to pickle my liver. I'm self employed and was doing my accounts last week - going back through bank statements. Up till December 31st - there was entry after entry ... local off license .... Come January - nothing. They must have noticed the difference in their takings when I packed in the booze!

Oh, and as of this morning in 8 weeks since starting on my weight loss campaign, I am down 11.4lbs - so have almost lost all the weight I gained.

For anyone struggling - just hang in there and keep going, because it really is worth it.

Take care

Font
x

fontella...what a great post, full of gratitude well done for the weight loss, scary isn't it, eight months and a huge difference in quality of life.

Wish me luck. Today is a full day of packing the car to go on our holiday. Call me a weirdo, but for me practically my biggest trigger, more than even the holiday itself, is packing for holidays.

Hope everyone is well!

Morning all
Snowie hello from me and I agree with stayingdry - a simple no thanks should be enough.
Fontella - lovely uplifting post :)
Haggis - do you have any rescue remedy? Would that help manage the packing trigger? Just a thought
Glorious sunshine here again, love it!

Morning all.

Good luck Haggis- have a wonderful trip away!

Well. Just had a bit of a conversation with DH. It started with wondering if we will try for a second DC. Basically, when DS was born, it was very traumatic and he was blue and I hemorrhaged and it was all pretty horrid. I got quite severe pnd I can see now in retrospect, and possibly also had post traumatic stress- flashbacks, nightmares, panic attacks etc. It was after DS was born that my drinking really escalated as well.

We talked a bit about having another, and have decided against it, for a whole range of reasons. But the point is, I said to him that I knew I had gone a little mad for 2 years (probably 3 really), but that I was getting back to myself now and I was sorry that all that had happened and that I had put all of us through that. I was not talking about the drinking specifically- but that was such a major part of it. It was a good discussion. And served for me to really underscore that even though I have been a bit stop start stop start with my sobriety, that staying stopped has to be a priority, because life is immeasurably better without alcohol. Alcohol affects my depression at such a really fundamental level.

So, in some ways, if anything is going to strengthen my resolve, it was that discussion. Kind of a recognition that the fog of pain, of sadness is really starting to lift- and that has affected everyone around me.

Bit rambly again, sorry. :)

Just to say, Cornchips that I am so glad you had a good conversation with DH - such a positive post and such brilliant clarity of thought. Go you!!

Thanks NewName.I confess I am feeling a little sad and vulnerable today though. [shakes self]

This morning I got up at 5 and spent an hour pottering in the garden.Picked all the blackberries from the rogue blackberry bush that is about to be strimmed. Did some wedding. Attacked a climbing rose that is snarling up a weaker smaller rose.

It was peaceful.

that was 'weeding' not 'wedding'.

Lucy-just watched the video you put on your blog. That was really moving.

Morning Cornchips
It is isn't it? Makes me tear up every time I watch it and I've found myself watching it repeatedly. Beautiful
Take care of yourself today - you did a big and brave thing yesterday and there will probably be some internal emotional fall out today (well there would be if that was me anyway) :)

It is incredible...and the pictures of him when he was drinking and drugging... the utter pain and despair that just permeates his very being.

And how he is now. Golden, shining. Happy.

It is compelling.

cornchips, talking honestly with dp is good, positive and going forward.
I have found that by always being honest, whether it's about stuff he's done that pisses me off or anything really. I say straight away why I am not happy, no arguments just honest speaking I always feel better for it. maybe doesn't change anything but clears my head of it, doesn't allow resentments in and we all know what resentment leads to.
you are blessed with your family, and the sober serene lifestyle you have chosen and the courage to work for it.

on a lighter note off to the canal later armed with my shovel to "find" some plants.Taking the younger 2 as my cover that I'm doing a nature project for them if any old nosey bugger questions me
shall I pinch anyone some plants?

Thank you, both. I feel a little raw. I don't feel big and brave, or courageous though. [wry smile] But we all are, aren't we. Making such a fundamental shift in our lives.

Being honest and different is more difficult today than it has ever been imo. So much of life feels lived in the herd and is projected out on social media. That's why video's like the one I shared today are so powerful. Here it is if you'd like to see it too :)
vimeo.com/100327840

Wow! Powerful video Lucy - many thanks for posting that.

What a transformation in that young man - and has just reinforced my determination to keep going with what I'm doing.

Thankyou!

I am still here! life getting in the way a bit but plugging at it. x

Cornchips - that's great about your honest discussion with your DH. I think there are so many women that suffer really difficult births and there is just no support afterwards.

Lucy - I am not up to date with my blog reading today. I will grab some peaceful time tomorrow and watch that video. Thank you for posting.

Well - I drove 430 miles today. Arrived at lunchtime and had a slightly different arrival routine here (we've come here for 9 years because it's a kind of time share thing). That's helped. Spent the last 40 miles in the car listening to the Bubble Hour podcast about travelling. That really helped. So far so good. Currently eating strawberries dipped in chocolate and we are all in our pjs in the hotel room (after a 4.30 start this morning). Will be nice to wake up with a clear head. Got the Rescue remedy Lucy. Thanks for the suggestion!

StayingDry hope your plant foraging went very well. Biggles - good to see you. Hi to everyone.