DRY 5

[allhailqueenmab]

Starting this before the old one gets filled up!
this is the thread for the alcohol free.
Join us!

Cornchips - lovely, lets see what we can pull together :) Me too on Leaving Las Vegas - that one is etched on my brain .....

Hi Lucy - I'd be very happy to meet up with you and any BFB & MN people. Cornchips - that part of North London is very close to me - so give me a shout closer to the time.

I started watching Thank You For Sharing last night - which is about sex addicts so far. But all very 12 step familiar! Watched about 10 minutes. I have a memory that it was critically panned.

Really excited about your list! I was just thinking it would be great to have one all in one place. I'd also forgotten that Philip S-H was in When a Man Loves a Woman until it started. So so sad.

For some reasons Haggis i just assumed you were in Scotland.

I know! Crazy internet subterfuge on my part. I'm Irish - so is DH and we do go on holiday to Scotland at least once a year. The username is from Cat's Eye by Margaret Atwood. The main characters always referred to themselves as looking like Haggis McBaggis ie a wreck.

Great Haggis to the meet up!

Believe it or not there are 23 films on the list (not including our own soon to premier A Royal Hangover)
And I just learned something new - had no idea that's what your name meant and how very untrue for you it is! :)

Hello all

Lovely to read how you're all doing. I'm busy entertaining two children (my life seems to consist of preparing food then cleaning it up this summer) and still proudly sober. My friends and family seem to be supportive and accepting of my decision: I put that down to the fact that I'm obviously in a much better state physically, emotionally and mentally than I have been in years, and the fact that I make sure I never show any 'weakness' about it in public. So if I do feel tempted, I won't express it, and I don't reminisce about the old drunken days. I'm not by any means evangelical or preachy, in fact I never bring the fact that I've stopped drinking up, I just make sure I don't allow even the slightest chink for the 'just the one' brigade to penetrate!

The dreams though, my god the dreams. It seems as though every night I either have one beer and then regret it, or I get completely smashed and can't get home. I wake up every morning mentally drained but very relieved. Any experiences from others? Do they eventually stop?

I've now been sober for longer than I ever have been since my early teens (about 5 months). It really has been the best thing I've ever done. I want this to be forever. 5 months ago I could never have said that, it was too frightening, but now I know what I want.

In other news, DH apparently forgot to cancel the Sunday Times wine order so we have boxes of the stuff in the garage. Not helpful!

Hey Mistress Congrats on 5 months - awesome stuff. Oh yes the dreams - they come and go with me and peak when I'm struggling in the day so the blinking drinking even haunts me in my sleep!! I'm coming up 11 months and I had one this week. Any chance you can return to Sunday Times and get refund?

Haggis - someone recommended Thanks for Sharing to me a while back, but like you only managed about 10 mins. It was shocking, wasn't it? Will be v. interested to see the film list once compiled!

The dreams are awful, aren't they? Only surpassed by the relief when you wake up and realise that's all it was. My subconscious is so vicious that IN THE DREAM I wake up after a massive black out session and have that horrendous realisation that I've blown my sobriety. So the dream isn't just me drinking - that barely figures - it's all about the shame and horror of what I've done. So when I DO wake up I am convinced it happened as I have already 'woken up' in my dream. Does that make sense?

Feeling really annoyed with myself as have started binging stupidly on food. Real replacement 'stuff down your emotions' behaviour. No desire to drink, but feel chippy and resentful that I can't which I know means I am not really 'well' (dry drunk in AA speak). Feeling 'less than' about all sorts of stuff (recent exams, career, weight etc) which is silly and frankly self-indulgent. Was in such a positive place (hate that word, but you know what I mean) until recently. Think it may be to do with me trying to come off my ADs which I have done before with zero success. Did it astonishingly slowly - slower than the docs suggest even - but once I was down to 1 a week I started losing the plot so suppose I have to accept that I just need the wretched things. Need to not see myself as being a loser for taking the sodding things.

Objectively things are fine. Probably just need some more time to myself and a few meetings!

Anyway - always so love popping on the thread and hearing everyone's news. Cornchips - hoping things are feeling calmer for you.

Hi again- once again zipping in and out (sorry!). Tortoise, great guest post today. :)

Thanks Merce... things are calmer. Although I have been bingeing also- and a few times last week started purging as well which I thought I was out of.... anyway. Someone said to me today I was doing 'poor me' which brought me up short as I have never thought of myself as a 'poor me' kind of person. Something for me to consider maybe. (I was actually taking the piss out of myself I thought).

I confess I have not yet had a drinking dream. I have plenty of dreams where DH leaves me for other women though.... usually because of my drinking. Hmmm. Something else to consider.

Merce - sounds like keep going with enough of the ADs to feel better in the sobriety? You sound very aware of everything which is the key I think.

Loved Tortoise's guest post today also. All the responses on MN were considered and "got" it. But on the MN Facebook there are some people who have spectacularly NOT got it and that has irritated me. Better "keep my eyes on my own paper" as the lovely BFB ladies say .....

Mistress - how wonderful - 5 months! And thank you - you've just saved me about £6. Your post prompted me to remember I'm on holiday and forgot to cancel the papers .... So at least I can cancel this weekend's ....I love the sound of your approach to telling people and staying strong in case of "just have the one".
And your joy in what you've achieved! Inspiring for people like me heading into my third month. As for the dreams, I haven't had many. The subconscious is a bloody odd thing.

Funnily enough, I might have been talking up my no drinking rather too positively (and combination of truth - I am loving it (mostly) and fake it to make it). My sister in law has joined us on holiday - and says I look so well that she's starting the 100 day challenge today. Bless her, she doesn't even have a bloody drinking problem, or anything approaching one. I do hope I haven't been preachy ... But very happy in the company of others drinking and last night I was asked to choose the wine. For the table. I did, but wouldn't do it again. Rather a stretch too far....

Chips - you sound more chipper? Hope everyone has a good week.

Oh and Lucy thanks for the compliment - and really looking forward to the list. Yes Merce "thanks for sharing" is bloody awful!

Evening all :)

I posted once a few days back and haven't returned - I've been steadfastly concentrating on doing this; devouring blogs, books, etc all to stay on track. It's now Day 17 and I'm feeling good about it in lots of ways although so so SO tired all the time that I'm starting to be a bit worried about it. Is this normal?!

Lucy - I'd love a link to your blog please :)

Would also be up for a London meet at some point. Rather tragically I think I'm actually off to bed already in the vain hope a ridiculously early night might assuage some of this tiredness. Really want to contribute more to this thread..!

The utter crushing tiredness is so so so normal! I'm still feeling it, but i also keep going back to the start with my slips.

I'm off to bed too. My new favourite thing is a cup of peppermint tea and a listen to the Tara Brach meditation podcasts.

More tomorrow, friends. Thank you all for being around. Any lurkers or occasional posters- please post as often as you please. I just love the connection. :)

Ooh now I think I read Mrs D talking about those podcasts Corn - maybe I'll give them a go.

I have been lurking on this thread since the day it started - the original thread. At that point I was a bit like, ooh let me read about this strange breed of OTHER PERSON who might want to consider such a crazy notion as stopping drinking. I think I knew all along deep down that I was one such person So here I am.

Thanks for the heads up re. tiredness. In my madness, I am of course starting to think I have some sort of inoperable last stage cancer which is causing it all.

Tiredness definitely normal! I think it's all about finally getting back in touch with your own body and where it actually is when not pissed/recovering from a hangover. If it doesn't sound too glib, try to embrace it. I remember almost enjoying my first tummy bug as was the first time in YEARS that I was genuinely ill rather than trying to pass a hangover off as a 'bug'.

Welcome, Teapot!

Rather liking the sound of these meets, btw. Assuming London is where most of us are?

Evening ladies :)
Great post Tortoise!
Haggis You're welcome ;)
Teapot You can find me here: ahangoverfreelife.com/
Cornchips Need to check out Tara Brach myself so thanks for the reminder and there is nothing better than an early night imo
Merce I think London seems to be the place to be for the meet, it would be nice wouldn't it?
Survived my wobble but still feeling very vulnerable so I think it'll be early to bed for me too! Nothing beats sleep these days .....

Dear all, just read this thread and feel so inspired and think maybe I can do this. Had a shocker at the weekend, thread in relationships. Complete blank period of about 2 hours. I never mean to get drunk, but I do all the same. Think the only way forward is to stop completely. Can't imagine getting much support in RL as surrounded by quite heavy drinkers, DM, DH and lots of friends. I will do this. Today is day 1

Welcome Jemimarose. You are among friends!

Thank you Merce, just tidied kitchen without a glass of wine, small steps for me! Girls night Thursday and I have volunteered to pick then all up, take away at one of their houses. I know I would never drink and drive so feel quite safe . I'm also running most days and using my fitness pal to monitor calories, I will have loads extra now for food instead of vino and gin! Hoping to regain energy, fitness and sanity.

Everyone starts with small steps - don't knock them! Are you sure you want to go out with the girls this soon? May be fine for you - but I found it easier to avoid big nights out for a while until I felt more established/safer in my sobriety. If driving will keep you safe, go for it, tho. Anyway - not sure if you've been lurking but this thread is full of fabulous, supportive women. Getting sober is SO worth it x

Hi Teapot and Jemimarose! Yup, small steps but they soon add up.
I second what Merce says. I tried to limit social stuff to 100% necessary the first couple of weeks. The tiredness is something phenomenal and that continues. But the pleasure of crawling into bed 100% sober is something else! I was in bed 8.30 a lot of nights. Still do occasionally. Nothing bad comes of an early night!

Thanks for the heads' up, Haggis, I haven't seen the Facebook feed and will avoid it! This is one area where being in a different time zone helps a lot. But there was always going to be push back, because it's the sort of topic that makes people feel defensive. Glad you liked it though.

Lovely to see new people, Teapot and Jemima! It's pretty good here on the other side of the rainbow.

Good morning and thank you for welcome, feel relieved about my decision to stop drinking but as expected DH not supportive. He feels as it is my birthday next week, plus hols that I shouldn't stop yet......if he wanted to stop drinking I would love it! So many nights he falls asleep drunk on sofa and gets cross when I try and wake him up.

Serious cracks in our marriage and my appalling behaviour, drunk at weekend is a real wake up call, see thread in relationships for terrible details. Need to think about future and most importantly what is best for 2 x DS.

Didn't mean to start the day on a downer, sorry, heart racing at the thought of next few weeks. Thank you again for support.

Good luck to you all and have a top Tuesday!

Hi Jemima. My DH didn't want me to stop either. He cited upcoming holidays etc. as it happens the holiday has been MUCH better. Try not to think ahead though. It's a cliche but just do the next hour, five minutes whatever. Good luck.

Everyone in the "sobriety world" is very shaken up by the death of Robin Williams. Tortoise blogged about it wonderfully today. Not knowing the man I can't know, but I'd be fairly sure that his depression was at the least exacerbated, if not caused, by his relapses. Sarah Turner (author of the Sober Revolution) treats individual women at the Harrogate Sanctuary and says that some young like 80% start out on ADS - but those that successfully get to a years sobriety a much smaller number (about 15% I think) remain on them.

"Something like 80% are on ADs"