DRY 5

[allhailqueenmab]

Starting this before the old one gets filled up!
this is the thread for the alcohol free.
Join us!

21 days!!!

I met someone for lunch today that I always drink with. I told her I wasn't drinking and she just accepted it and she didn't drink either.

I haven't really told anyone I have given up. I just say I am not drinking at the moment. I have explained that it's because it was making me feel ill.

My weekends are so much better booze free.

Keep going everyone!

So many tough days today though not surprising where school fairs are involved. I honestly don't know how people do teaching or childcare as a living. Hold my hat off to them, they must have the patience of a saint

Ugh Corn that would wind me right up, your dh saying something like that. My ds still has meltdowns and he's 7. Things like days out they can get over excited and it results in tears by the end of the day. That's kids for ya. Nice to 'meet' you btw, I think we have missed each other on previous threads.

Well done leftie, glad you're so positive and how great to have a supportive friend like that.

My weekend has been good also. Went to an AA meeting today after humming and haaing about it and glad I did. Much bigger crowd there, more ones my age too and recent additions Still feel a bit like a fraud there, similar to pp (sorry can't scroll back on this, Lucy?) as if I'm not 'bad enough' to be there but pushing it to the back of mind for the time being. I think part of it is I've never really felt like I belong anywhere so this is probably an extension of that. Still not sure its for me but still keeping an open mind before deciding.

Feeling positive anyway. It's scary not being able to numb some unpleasant emotions I'm having but on the flip side I'm looking forward to seeing the person I can become without chucking booze down my throat all the time. Feel like there's certain parts of me I've never faced up to before and emotionally grown up, just been trying to hide a lot of pain without dealing with it and putting it in the past.

On that note time for tea and bed. I have to laugh at my rocking Saturday nights now . Hope everyone is having a good weekend and for those of you with trials today, big well done for getting through it!

Got reading back after posting, Sorry was teapot not lucy

Sorry sorry sorry. Been up to my eyes at work and quite down. Really need a bit of a slap right now too. We also did school fête yesterday, and, apart from being naffed off by the alpha clique - they really are a bunch of tossers, I only went and won a very expensive, lovely looking bottle of red wine

Just been looking at it wanting to cry for being such a bloody useless hopeless failure. I know I won't have any but I bloody want to.

Stop me from wanting to just jack it in. please.

Play the tape to the end biggles

The lovely wine won't taste nearly as good as it looks. You will feel riddled with guilt and shame.

You will neck it and the have to go out to get another bottle. You will then spend half the night on the bog, and feel like utter shite tomorrow.

Thank you! absolute nail on the head especially the bit about going out and getting paint stripper straight afterwards . So good to have this thread!

Biggles tell us about alpha clique. We have ours too, and I feel intimidated, (I am a bundle of insecurities at the best of times)but remind myself that the apogee of my existence is not to be Queen of the PTA. I could not handle the stress for a start, do not have the committment for another start, and it suits some people very well to devote that energy to the school, and they do it very well.

I do my bits well. :) Smiley, occasional coffee, let DH bake cakes for the fete.

I bet you do your bits bloody well.

It's just the group is sooo impenetrable, and, although I don't particularly want to be a part of it, I tend to offer my services if needed -example, the school discos were going to stop due to lack of parent involvement so I rallied a few people around and now pretty much do all of them.

When it comes to fetes, I've also been involved for the past three years and still, we ( three or four of us) are tolerated not ever thanked as we're just not in enough! bloody women

When DS was at playschool there was a really horrible clique of mums. They would turn and whisper when people outside the clique, like me, came near. I think they particularly hated me because DS father went out with one of the clique about 12 years previously!!

Anyway, they all used to wear ponchos I am not making this up and one day, one of the non clique SAHD turned up wearing a poncho and sniggering to us that he "just wanted to get into the clique"

I think I nearly wet myself

They all just looked bemused but they did stop wearing the horrible pink ponchos. Carried on being bitches though.

Hi All

Looks like we're all having Christmas Fair Hell this weekend! Ours was ok but a bit fraught, the kids mostly enjoyed it but I found it tough.

Biggles is the wine still in your house? I'd get it out if you can. Early gift for neighbours? Or just bin it????? However much others may say it's worth you know the true cost to you is sooooo much higher. Remember the AA saying about the train? Something like our destructive relationship with alcohol is like a train going only one way. We can get off, but if we get back on again it us still only going the same way.

You've already got off that train, please don't climb back on again. Especially not when your feelings about a bunch of irritating bitchy Mean Girls are clouding your judgement. You are going to feel so brilliant tomorrow when you wake up and you realise you didn't succumb. As opposed to bleurgh beyond belief if you do.

Why not bin the wine, have a bath, brush your teeth, go to bed? You'll feel so much better tomorrow and remember, you'll never regret NOT having a drink.

So today I went to a 5th birthday party where the beers and prosecco appeared at about 11am. People clutching heads and complaining about their hangovers from the aftermath of school fairs. So children are learning that along with the cake a birthday equals alcohol. At 5. I mean, I know the kids aren't actually drinking but you know what I mean. It's insidious. But this time last year I was at the same child's party, hungover to the gills, desperately unhappy and refusing champagne because I was determined I wasn't going to drink in front of my children and I had to drive. Managed not to drink that night but straight back to the wine the following night. I'm so so glad to be different this year.

Agree with sydney, Biggles - give the wine away.

Really getting a lot from the posts on the thread this weekend. sydney - it's our DTs 5th birthday in a couple of weeks, and it's going to be in the morning too. Your post has just made me ponder whether I can get away without offering that glass of wine to people when they arrive, and I think I'm going to go out on a limb and forget about it. Good job too because the prospect of the cake, the entertainer, the party bags, along with 25 children and their parents is more than enough to be going on with.

Christmas fair hell describes it perfectly. Today we had to attend our village one..... I was desperately hoping there might be hot chocolate, but it was all mulled wine and mulled cider.

What I disliked both yesterday at school and today was that it was all the same stuff...... commercial stallholders. I overheard one of my more pithy neighbours describe it to her husband as 'tat for twats'.

Biggles how are you?

Thanks everyone - I haven't binned it, but put it away with the champagne dh got in the summer. Him and my mother can drink them at Xmas. I know that reallyI'm strong enough to say no (13 months today ) but sometimes it's just so bloody annoying!

Am starting a running 'streak' tomorrow - going to try to run every day this month I have set my alarm for 5.30 and put my running kit out...... we'll see.....

Agree with so much that has been said over the past few days. Alcohol is everywhere this time of year even more than usual . There was a bar at the fete of course, dads milling around with their real ale, mummies with their wine. Just so wrong

Nearly time for celeb. I am such a saddo. Think of me at half five in the morning. I am really going to try!

Thanks again everyone x

and [should have a medal emoticon] for Biggles!!!!

Well done. And good luck with the running too.

Sleep well all x

Did it!!!!!!!? Only 20 mins and not my speediest but hey . happy Monday

Hey well done Biggles - for the booze victory and the early morning running one.

Isn't it interesting how similar all our themes are? I feel quite lucky in the whole PTA/clique department (although am now panicking that anyone might think I am part of a clique) because quite a few of the children from my DTs nursery went onto their primary, so a few of us were friends already. I honestly cannot believe behaviour in grown women such as wearing ponchos en masse turning away from people and whispering... WTAF? It's all early days for me though, and I'm trying to get my head round the PTA thing. I am one of the class reps and already realising that no matter what you volunteer for, they'll ask you to do more. It's a stretch for me to do anything really - I feel in a state of constant stress. I will never be the kind of person to be heavily involved in PTA stuff, I just don't get what motivates people. I think it all harks back to the need to be rebellious. It's just too 'head girl/prefecty' for my liking!

When the other two were at school. I was just always too pissed to do anything so now small daughter is there I feel I need to sort of 'pay back' for what I didn't do. Which seems ridiculous. Also, this time, I have actually made some proper friends at school - the ones I made when dd and ds were at their schools just got fed up with me after a while because of the drinking. or just the unreliability. If we're being dead deep, it's all psychological - desperately wanting to 'belong' after a very out of control childhood etc.

Whatever the reasons it is stopping me drinking I guess and the friends I have made are really supportive. so that helps.

Just had a great phone call - we (work) have been given a £15,000 grant towards one of our projects, so I am really really pleased. Loads of effort finally rewarded!

Biggles congrats on the run, on putting down the drink and on the grant!

On the PTA sort of thing..... I found when I was drinking I never had the self confidence to say 'no' to things. I was unable to stand up for myself and what I or my family needed, so I got suckered in to all sorts of things - volunteering in community groups, on committees etc. Many of these things caused me great anxiety and unhappiness due to the time involved or the tasks involved, and because I tend towards anxiety anyway. One of the best things about not-drinking is that I am stronger in myself, and I am learning - finally- to say 'no' at the right time. I was being heavily pushed a few weeks ago to jon a particular committee that is notorious for backstabbing and in-fighting, and I was being leaned on pretty heavily. I am so proud of myself because I actually said 'no' and then 'no' several other times when it kept getting pushed. I find I am valuing myself more, and my own time more. That has been self affirming... after years of being a people pleaser. I would love to get involved with my community in another way one day though, if it is filled with good friends, is nurturing etc.

I got a book out of the library the other day called 'The Hive' by Gill Hornby - it's all about alpha mummies in school. I just can't bring myself to get past the first couple of pages though! It looks really good and very funny but I just feel a bit too scared! Ridiculous

Morning all!
Sorry to hear that people had 'not so pleasant' school fair experiences over the week-end. I'm afraid I'm really crap at being involved in school stuff and use the excuse of work and we live in village where bus collects DC's for school so don't do the school gate/playground thing staying (happily) blissfully aware of such behaviour although do hear stories from other parents. Biggles great news on run and grant! :)

that should have read unaware!

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2249570-Dry-6

Eek I've just started a new thread. So nervous I had to do a semi name change (first time in 5 years on Mumsnet).
Just worried this one would fill up. Please come on it and post so I'm not a Billy No Mates....