Who's Desperate and Awful Now....Story of My Divorce from Mr WT...Part 2....

[MrsC1969HJ]

Having reached a 1000 posts, I can hardly believe we are moving onto Thread 2...I have had the most amazing ongoing support from so many and I will always be eternally grateful. Link to Thread 1 www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2030270-PLEASE-HELP-DESPERATE-AND-AWFUL-DIVORCE?

[TheysayIamparanoid]

De-lurking just to say have read your thead(s)
and those two make me so

for you OP

You are fab!

[Bidingmytime07]

Ditto the above poster. I read a lot of your thread, and you are amazing. Wishing you luck

[jezzapaxmanslovechild]

Blimey Mrs C - ive just spent most of the morning reading all of your posts, and am agog at such twattishness! I was so agog I demolished an entire pack of ryvita thins and a tub of taramasalata whilst reading this My ex left me 5 years ago for the ow. Despite that deep down he is basically a decent bloke and great dad. It was very difficult at first but we are friends now - like brother and sister but with the shared connection of our kids. It was my mums funeral on Friday and he was there to support us, and he is coming to fix the washing machine on monday. When the kitchen ceiling collapsed due to a burst pipe he offered me money because he didn't want us to have a kitchen where it rained - ditto the boiler - he didn't want us being cold... I didn't take the money cos I didn't need it but it really helps to know that he can cover my back if the shit hits the fan - equally he had a huge outgoing recently, and I offered to have less maintenance that month - he covered it and didn't need to give me less. We still try to work as a team... I really really feel for you - he sounds like a complete nightmare! I have seen you go from strength to strength on your threads though - and all in the space of a morning the support you have had has been something to behold and you are doing amazingly!! I really wish you all the best x

[Anniegetyourgun]

Hope you're keeping hold of OW's little poison pen letters as they might be useful when it comes to court time.

[MissScatterbrain]

Report the notes to the police - its harassment.

[MrsC1969HJ]

Oh my goodness, after a lovely weekend away visiting my cousin in London, I have come back to this amazing show of support...I am so grateful, I can never tell you how much! Jezza...you are a girl after my own heart, taramasalata and pitta for me...but best when reading a heartstopping thread!! I did laugh! Also, as ridiculous as it seems, I do hope that ONE DAY Mr WT and I can have some sort of relationship for the sake of DS. I won't hold my breath though, he's not seen him for 3 weeks. Anyway, I am so glad to "see" you all again and lovely support and words from lurkers. It's amazing, it really is.

So, I had a note from OW on Saturday morning, pretending to be Mr WT, I am really not sure what her game is, making her presence felt?! Anyway, they have sent a few more credit card statements, have completely misunderstood court protocol but weirdly, are VERY reluctant to disclose one particular credit card, she wrote to tell me it was closed in January but this doesn't matter, she fails to realise that, he had the card in the run up, during and post leaving us, so it counts whether they like it or not. I have made a specific request for disclosure of this card and I suspect their "itchiness" is because of what it will reveal, it's quite funny really, I know a lot more than they realise but still they insist that they "didn't have an affair" and met for the first time at the beginning of Oct and that it was perfectly normal for my husband to start proceeds to move his guns merely days later and indeed go on her council tax in less than 3 weeks (yawn). The level of hysteria coming from both of them speaks volumes!

Anyway, I am having a few days off from court stuff, concentrating on getting DD back to school and other things. We're all fine! I wish I could post up pictures of my beautiful son from this weekend. I hope you're all well and look forward to keeping my story up to date and again, I am so grateful to you all for your support! xx

[inlectorecumbit]

They are way in too deep and too far over their heads to understand just what damage they have done to their own case. everything they have tried to do has backfired and everything they try to conceal will be revealed , why? because my dear you are on the ball, you have played fair all the way along and dealt with their behaviour with dignity whist looking out for the DC's.
The man you married is as good as dead and some alien has invaded his body, an alien with the brain the size of a peanut the morals of a skunk.

You and your Dc's are amazing and l am glad you had some fun away with your DS. Hope DD had a good weekend too-baby steps the way to go with her just now. Take things at her pace and you will all be fine

[MrsC1969HJ]

inlectorecumbit...yep, you're right...and am glad that you can see that too! Thank you so much, you are such a sweetie and always seems so on the nail with everything...yes, we will get there, I am so proud of both of them, 3 1/2 and 16, they have had a lot to deal with, they are an amazing team together and I am a very proud Mum! So onwards we go..........! x

[captainmummy]

I cant beleive they are handing you written evidence, MrsC! Even If they are purporting to come from him, surely it's all incriminating?

idiots. I'm sure they think they are being clever and hurtful and you have no idea what's going on.....

[MrsC1969HJ]

Oh Captainmummy he's pulled a blinder today. Very odd behaviour. Have had a lot of problems with the house, not least the electric garage door broke (due to his shit electrics). Today, with no warning, a contractor rocked up to fix it swiftly followed by Mr WT who paid him in cash (I didn't see him, a neighbour did, said he looked absolutely appalling). He then paid refunds to neighbours he did rubbish work for accompanied by apology notes. He also put some money in my bank account (half his normal maintenance). This is all very odd. Too little, too late, it really is. If he thinks this is somehow going to make him look better in court, he has another think coming. I am feeling very odd about all of this. The weird thing is, it's shades of the person I used to love. Trying to put right things he did wrong. I am not taken in or pining or anything, it's just strange. I am also not deluded enough to think he is doing all of this for anything more than his own gain. So, will see what happens next. Not sure how useful her note will be. He's still going to have to disclose the bloody card regardless of whether or not it was closed in January. He REALLY doesn't want to....hiding a multitude of sins I suspect!!

[captainmummy]

Well! No idea, I'm afraid. He could have had an attack of conscience, he could be thinking about his reputation, or the court case, or.... Unknown.
It's obviously coming out of your pocket, tho.

[captainmummy]

Or, maybe it's a sweetener - fix the garage and you forget (somehow) about the credit card.
Or she is playing bad cop to his good cop?
:)

[MrsC1969HJ]

God only knows, I really am clueless. This was totally unexpected today. Frankly, I would have preferred that the issues inside the house were addressed first, the garage can wait. Those things affect us directly. I doubt very much an attack of conscience...more likely damage limitation. Bit too late now though....what really galls me is how avoidable all this was and I think really he made his first mistake when he decided to withdraw all financial support five minutes after he left. What did he expect me to do? Idiot, that is all!! :-O

[pointythings]

Call me cynical, but I think he's bricking it about court and he's trying to do something, anything that will result in him not getting his dick slammed repeatedly in a door. Sorry, but I can't see it any other way.

[PetuliaGristle]

I'm with pointy, he's bricking it, loving the idea of 'dick being slammed repeatedly in a door' apologies for being very very non-PC but surely that's risking a brain injury? Perhaps he's seen yet another solicitor?

[inlectorecumbit]

Yep this has me beaten too
My first thought was perhaps there was a wee niggle of conscience starting to creep in as regards you and the neighbours but that was soon discounted. I think he now realised court date is very close and basically they are screwed. he is trying the remorse card and failing-his appearance is either one of stress/worry/regret or a deliberate act for the sympathy vote at court. You can guess which one l favour !!!
The man you see now is the "real" deal-the alter ego of the man you thought you knew but was just kept well hidden.
You are well shot of him. All of you

xxx

PS your daughter is really beautiful and DS a cheeky wee monkey

[pointythings]

Petulia

[MrsC1969HJ]

Ha ha, no I think you've all hit the nail on the head there! Petulia, I think possibly a solicitor has been consulted....at least I hope so! Inlectorecumbit...ahh, thank you, they are a lovely duo, even if I say so myself :-). We are SO well shot of him and if he looks and feels shit that is his problem, it's all self-inflicted isn't it? So, we'll see what tomorrow brings...I am wondering what the hell is going to happen next!

Night lovelies, thank you all for being here :-) x

[inlectorecumbit]

He will probably be trying to pull some "nice" stunts over the next few days to help his case in court but l am sure any attempts will be transparent and laughable.If he looks like a shit and feels shit = he is a shit

Expect the worse over the next 2 weeks -then you may be surprised that it won't really bother you at all.
You are the real winner here although it may not feel like that at times-you have DC's family friends and MN. What really does he have now? OW!!! what a prize she has turned out to be

[AcrossthePond55]

I agree there's more than meets the eye to his Mr Nice act. I don't see how it would be a 'court thing' though since it's not like there are character witnesses. I'd say it's more likely OW is sensing some 'negative publicity' on her business now that the truth is getting out there. She's probably behind it to suck up to the public.

[MrsC1969HJ]

Morning all, just an update. It's all getting extremely stressful. I have had to call the police after Mr WT started posting my full name and defamatory comments all over business media. It is amazing, he has changed his name 3 times and keeps posting things...even pictures of DS. I then received an extremely threatening email from him that was sugary but laced with undertones and one direct threat. I can't stand this anymore. I am frightened to open my email in the morning, I don't know what's going to be in it. I am sick of the anxiety. I am being interviewed this evening, have obviously printed and screenshot everything because he keeps closing accounts and opening new ones. He is making himself sound like a victim of an awful woman who is refusing him contact with his son but not stating the actual truth of the matter. Indeed, it is he who has refused contact because it is not on his terms only. Onto court stuff...I have received a huge load of papers from him but again there are two particular things he refuses to disclose and has put out and out lies on there including that we never lived together prior to our wedding (!), even going so far to ask ex-friends via Twitter to get in touch as he "needed help". He named one friend in the court papers as somebody who would confirm that we hadn't lived together, the friend refused to say anything of the sort as he lived next door to us and indeed helped us move when we sold my house. I don't understand it. He has also stated that the mobile phone fraud was nothing of the sort, that I logged on online and changed all the account details via an email address that he had cancelled and that he couldn't understand why I felt I was entitled to a refund (literally beyond belief, he doesn't seem to fathom that the police spoke to the mobile phone provider and indeed the bank when the report was made!). It is really too long to go into anything else, suffice to say that he clearly hasn't a clue about the court process and thinks he can get away with fairy stories. Across, I have no idea what this is all about with the fixing the garage etc, I do think it is damage limitation but too little too late. What a bloody mess, I just want this over with, it's been a year since he left and this should not be continuing. Just why?! :-(

[captainmummy]

Well done on getting the Police involved MrsC - it all helps; get it logged. I don't knwo what the penalties are for defamation on FB or twitter/linkedIn and the like - especially if he keeps opening new accounts. I suppose you can log it all with the relevant sites and they can check on IP addresses....??

Re emails - take a leaf from thename's thread and look into a Non-Mol, or a injunction to limit contact. The harassing is surely justification. Again, get legal and get it logged. Do you have a solicitor? All contact should go through them. All Contact!

I agree that so many of these 'men' seem to think that they jsut turn up in court, make their demands and the judge will 'ok then, MrC, whatever you say. MrsC - hand over your money, kids, house, car etc to your deserving, upstanding, perfectly reasonable ex. Oh and of course there was no fraud committed to the mobile phone co - in spite of concrete evidence by the Police, we'd rather believe you'. What do you mean, MrsC, fairy stories? !

Why is he so adamant that you didn't live together prior to wedding? What difference does that make to anything?

Hope the court case doesn't take too long - do you have a date?

[AcrossthePond55]

Oh God, how terrible! But I do think this also indicates that he is now attempting to 'try the divorce in the court of public opinion'. For it to turn ugly so rapidly indicates that he has now realized that he cannot run the whole show and so now is running scared, hitting out any way he can. Again, I think this has to do with his and/or OW's businesses or possibly the two of them seeing that they are 'not looking so good' to people in their social circle or to their clienteles.

Upsetting, yes, but you are NOT powerless. Do look into a non-Mol. Be sure you have copies of everything. At this point I'd insist any communications be via solicitors (if that's affordable to you) or in writing. Don't be afraid to defend yourself to anyone who asks you about things he's saying but do it in a quiet and dignified way, no character assassinations. A rueful shake of the head, a deep sigh, a tear, and an 'I don't know WHY he'd say such ugly and untrue things it's all so upsetting'. You are going to want to fight this fire with ICE, not fire.

As far as your email; my DH was receiving emails that were upsetting to him a couple of years ago. He ended up asking me to look at emails from this person (a former 'friend' who went way off the deep end) first and to delete them unless they turned threatening. Do you have a trusted friend who can look at them first to prepare you or can hide the ones that are just vitriol (for the police to look at later) from the ones that need legal action? Also, have you subtly checked DD's email to be sure he's not sending shite to her? She's so protective of you I'm afraid she may not tell you.

Be strong, MrsC. This too shall pass. He's too much a coward to keep it up once the police get involved!

[pointythings]

Good advice from everyone above, and I can only second it.

He's going to lose this, and he knows it. Hang on to that and stay cool.

[IrianofWay]

It's like you've kicked an ants nest - sudden frenzied activity when he realises the threat. What an idiot.