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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Do men despise women.

817 replies

Loomineer · 14/07/2014 21:04

On another thread read comments about women not realising how much men despise them. It got me thinking how in my relationships I've looked back and thought god. They really despised me.

My best friend is in a relationship where to me her dp treats her like he despises her.

I am not a man hater by any means. I just wondered what other people thought.

OP posts:
Zazzles007 · 15/07/2014 15:04

Yep

AnyFucker · 15/07/2014 15:05

OTM, you are trying be clever, are you not ? Wink

Sexism is also a "doing" word. If men are "doing" sexism then yes, we should try and combat it. And vice versa.

OnTheMap · 15/07/2014 15:06

Twinklestein, yes

AnyFucker · 15/07/2014 15:09

Hey ! thedancingbear! This is the point where you come in and say to OTM "mate, stay on topic, you are doing what men are accused of...switching it around and making it about the womenz do it too, stop doing that !"

or were you not listening to me ?

AnyFucker · 15/07/2014 15:10

it's a "small" example right there ^^

did it "whoosh" ?

Twinklestein · 15/07/2014 15:11

Twinklestein, yes

Well - I don't see why 'engineering is a man's profession' and I've seen no evidence that 'women aren't as good as men with computers' and some women love football, so no I don't see that any of that is 'factually correct'.

Zazzles007 · 15/07/2014 15:12

Er, no. He was cycling too fast to stop in 30m. The path is also used by pedestrians. What if he wasn't able to stop for a pedestrian? We don't have the advantage of un-constricted space. What if he had hit a pedestrian? So what you are saying that it is ok for a cyclist to completely disregard others use of the same space? What part of he was 30m away and travelling to fast do you not understand? I cannot control how fast he was travelling, that is the issue. You seem to be keen to assert a privilege for cyclists that doesn't exist.

thedancingbear · 15/07/2014 15:19

sorry, anyfucker, I've been busy getting a work email out for the last half an hour. But in any event, I'm not sure I understand your post?

OnTheMap · 15/07/2014 15:22

Zazzles, you're very funny there

"He was cycling too fast to stop in 30m ... "

Why did he need to stop in 30m? Because you made the decision to pull out and block his path. That's not hard, is it?

Pepperoneverthing · 15/07/2014 15:23

Men definitely do despise women.....you just have to take a look around you to see that. People deny it because men don't want women to rise up in anger and women because the truth of it is painful. But I don't know why they hate us..what the fuck did we ever do to them?? Women have far, FAR more reason to hate men, yet somehow we still, as I think Dworkin said, believe in their humanity. Pity that men can't show us the same courtesy!

OnTheMap · 15/07/2014 15:27

Twinklestein

"I don't see why...

'engineering is a man's profession' - the vast majority of engineers are male

'women aren't as good as men with computers' - the vast majority of software engineers, etc are male

some women love football - most season ticket holders are male for example.

cailindana · 15/07/2014 15:29

Got distracted by life and didn't get a chance to follow up my last post. B

But, Minus, when your DD is 15, do you think you'll be ok with her going out in a short skirt/boob tube and hotpants?

thedancingbear · 15/07/2014 15:30

OnTheMap - this isn't helpful. 'the vast majority of engineers are male' does not equal 'engineering is a man's profession' (even if true - I've a mate who works as an engineer in the oil industry - as traditionally male as it gets - and he has a fair few female colleagues. he's married to one of them).

CaptChaos · 15/07/2014 15:31

OK, OnTheMap, I'll bite.

Why would you think that the vast majority of engineers are male?

That the vast majority of software engineers, etc are male?

That most season ticket holders are male for example.???

There was a time when the vast majority of computer programmers were women, when it was seen as being little better than being a secretary, then it became lucrative, so, what do you think happened?

Could it be that men have the vast majority of disposable income (because they tend to be in higher paid jobs) and that's why they can afford season tickets?

Do you think the vast majority of engineers are male because girls are put off taking up STEM subjects at school and university?

Yes, so do I.

OnTheMap · 15/07/2014 15:32

the point I was trying to make is that we challenge a generalisation about engineering being a male profession as sexist - (it doesn't matter if it's true, it's for the sake of argument), it's a generalisation to say "men despise women" - which was the point of the thread - I've made my point, I'm off now

OnTheMap · 15/07/2014 15:34

CaptChaos, that's the not the point I was making.

cailindana · 15/07/2014 15:34

FWIW I agree with you on that one Map, and said so in an earlier post.

What I would say is "All men benefit from privilege and are blind to it. Some men are willing to open their eyes to it, most are not."

CaptChaos · 15/07/2014 15:35

But, it's the point I'm making. Plus, my point is factually correct as well.

Pepperoneverthing · 15/07/2014 15:36

How can anyone believe seriously that men as a class do not despise women? It is obvious...Once you see it, you see it everywhere. I understand people not wanting to face up to the painful truth, or men pretending that they don't oppress women, but to argue in all seriousness? The evidence is EVERYWHERE.

OnTheMap · 15/07/2014 15:37

Good on you CaptChaos

cailindana · 15/07/2014 15:39

Map I would be interested to know if you agree with what I said - that all men benefit from privilege and are blind to it?

CaptChaos · 15/07/2014 15:39

Patronising, much?

OnTheMap · 15/07/2014 15:42

Cailin, I don't agree that all men benefit from privilege, and I don't agree that all men are blind to male privilege that does exist - my problem is the word "all" and "as a class".

All other things being equal, the average man does have an advantage over the average woman in life, but there are many individual examples where this isn't the case.

cailindana · 15/07/2014 15:45

Can you give an example Map? I am genuinely interested btw, not being belligerent or owt.

thedancingbear · 15/07/2014 15:46

all men benefit from privilege and are blind to it?

No, I don't think this is true, though being male is definitely something that improves someone's life chances. A black guy with a physical disability born on a council estate to abusive parents does not benefit from 'privilege' for example. Clearly there are big issues with gender and life chances for example. But to chuck out there something as absolute, and obviously moralising, as 'men benefit from privilege and are blind to it' just seeks to entrench prejudices.