Do men despise women.

[Loomineer]

On another thread read comments about women not realising how much men despise them. It got me thinking how in my relationships I've looked back and thought god. They really despised me.

My best friend is in a relationship where to me her dp treats her like he despises her.

I am not a man hater by any means. I just wondered what other people thought.

dancingbear what is your solution then ?

feminists continue to get verbally and physically threatened while men and female supporters of the patriarchy STFU ? Will that solve the problem do we think ?

And I hand it back to you, that every time men say nothing about displayed misogyny you do females a dis-service.

On the occasions when my DH has stood up for women and confronted sexism he has been 'accused' of being gay. It doesn't bother him because he's not homophobic either but its a strange extrapolation really isn't it?

So are you saying that justifies a woman being called a bitch, cunt, and slut?

It certainly is, bleedingheart

the two ultimate insults to your husband for standing up to be counted. Do they mean homosexual or do they mean like a woman ? Neither of those say very much for the name callers.

I am not saying you should get into punch ups, Eminor, but that says it all really doesn't it ?

Sorry, but what is your point? Is it that you assume that Eminor and myself will necessarily have presented ourselves in an aggressive and confrontational, just because we are men? If so, that is an extraordinary suggestion.

I didn't say that at all, tdb, and to assume that I did is inflammatory

No of course not

Patriarchy exists and it is supported by male violence

is what it says to me.

no it doesn't, but you should be more careful ... people do get angry when other people try to kill them or do them a major injury

the two ultimate insults to your husband for standing up to be counted. Do they mean homosexual or do they mean like a woman ? Neither of those say very much for the name callers.

NO, her point is clearly that he has been abused and threatened.

I'm out of here. I agree that there is a problem, and (what with not being Jesus or Nelson Mandela) I'm afraid I don't have the complete answer. But there is no point in debating with bigots.

I've done this and nearly got my block knocked off because of it

I'm really sorry you were threatened with physical violence because you pointed out some blatant misogyny. That shouldn't have happened. However, it doesn't really prove your point, does it? Unless it was a woman who threatened you?

Men have all the power, even the nice ones. Men like having all the power, they really do. They will do anything to keep that power away from women. They really don't like men who try and stand up for women, and threaten to hurt them. They call them horrible names and accuse them of being fanny whipped and under the thumb.

Women who stand up for other women get called bigots.....

I don't have the answer either, tdb. I do feel that part of the answer though is that 50% of the population don't look the other way because it's all so diffucult.

tdb, women are abused and threatened all the time for standing up to men

it's more notable when it happens to a man who points out misogyny though?

Men have all the power, even the nice ones. Men like having all the power, they really do. They will do anything to keep that power away from women. They really don't like men who try and stand up for women, and threaten to hurt them. They call them horrible names and accuse them of being fanny whipped and under the thumb.

Just the ones that are arseholes? Or all of them?

I think the bigots are the misogynists, in DancingBears post

No, not all of them. Stop deliberately missing the point, it doesn't strengthen your argument to keep squawking "NAMALT"

it's more notable when it happens to a man who points out misogyny though?

No. I was just trying to disabuse you from your view that no men stand up to misogynists. the decent ones often do. But honestly, I don't think you are willing to listen.

I meant that it is interesting that men who are sexist think that men who aren't will feel insulted by being described as homosexual or feminine. Why should a man who defends women be sexually attracted to men?

DH really could not give a shit but I can imagine a lot of younger men feeling shamed or withdrawing from those types of conversation. And I don't know how he would have felt if he was a teenager trying to do that (maybe he did, I'll ask him).

He has helped some women in vulnerable and drunken situations and people he previously saw as 'regular guys' asked him if he'd done certain things which would involve taking advantage and abusing the trust of these women. It really angered him that they even saw that as an option. (E.g. asking him if he'd had a look at the genitals of a girl who had passed out on a toilet).

I know loads of nice guys, genuinely nice guys, who make jokes about being whipped etc when they do 'nice guy' things.

You do get a sense reading this that unless a man is prepared to be a one man warrior against all and every form of sexism that exists, and to go out of his way to combat sexism he isn't even confronted with (and sexism undeniably does exist), that man is part of the problem, and therefore part of that class that despises women.

To paraphrase Oscar Wilde, the problem with feminism is that it takes up too many evenings.

it doesn't strengthen your argument to keep squawking "NAMALT"

(i) yes it does when the initial propsition is 'do men despise women' (not some men, just men).

(ii) why use the word 'squawking'? Why can't/won't you debate in a civil fashion?

And what about the male cyclist's responsibility in this? So are you suggesting that because as the female in this incident, it is my responsibility to ensure that a male who is cycling way too fast as he is late should not necessary hit my car, when he is a good 30m away? Seriously? Wow, the mind boggles... Who knew?!?!

As a suburb, we have recently gotten bicycle tracks around our suburb. I happened to be home at one time when the council was calling and conducting telephone interviews regarding the use of these cycling tracks. I pointed out to interviewer that many of the (male) cyclists were completely berating the motorist for not treating them like pedestrians. And not only that, these cyclists were cycling in excess of the speed limit on these streets. It is now nice to see the cyclists actually stopping respectfully for motorists who are already in their path.

Not All Men!

And yes, even nice men like having a feeling of superiority over someone. I have heard 'nice' men called their friends under the thumb because they have done something thoughtful, are you suggesting that you haven't?

I am perfectly civil, tdb. You just don't like what I am saying.

As a white person, do you engage in, or tacitly condone casual racism?

Same argument really