Do men despise women.

[Loomineer]

On another thread read comments about women not realising how much men despise them. It got me thinking how in my relationships I've looked back and thought god. They really despised me.

My best friend is in a relationship where to me her dp treats her like he despises her.

I am not a man hater by any means. I just wondered what other people thought.

But does privilege necessarily equal contempt?

Do those who agree with the statement 'men despise women' also agree that 'white people are racist'?

I ask this as a feminist, incidentally. I don't think anyone would deny that misogyny exists, I just don't believe it is the default position for all men, the majority of men or men 'as a class'.

I think we all have have absorbed some attitudes from the culture around us, you'd have to be very vigilant to catch every damaging message as it goes in and root it out.

So most white people have preconceptions about black people. And vice versa too, but white people are the ones with the power so their prejudices are the ones that shape other peoples experiences. And I say this as a white person, one with the best will in the world.

The same for men and women. Most men don't consciously despise women, but there are a lot of roll eyes and dismissiveness there. Minor enough, but still...when it's someone with power in your life it has an effect.

And one of the biggest problems as I see it is a lack of empathy on the part of men towards women. They just aren't taught to identify with us, as just another human. You can even see it when people say 'Oh boys won't read books with a female lead', but storytelling is how we learn about emotion and empathy. Just one example. That's not a problem we have the other way around.
Between lack of empathy and othering it's really easy for men to think oh Gender imbalance in Parliament? Pay Gap? Prostitution? Women just naturally choose the shitty end of the stick, shitty sticks wouldn't be my choice but women eh, can't understand 'em!

It's very insidious and subtle and most people, men and women don't realise how much is absorbed and how it cycles. Without being in any way deliberate or malicious.

Do those who agree with the statement 'men despise women' also agree that 'white people are racist'?

I think that it's important to remember white privilege when thinking about race. I also think that there is a lot less overt racism than there is overt sexism on social media, people will also call out racism when they will stay silent or join in with sexism. I still believe that men as a class despise women as a class, they see them as lesser, not quite human. The majority of men will have women they see as equals, but even they will tend to judge women more.

I am sure that as a white person I have unconsciously taken advantage of my privilege and thereby disadvantaged someone of another race. It's my responsibility to try to be as conscious as possible of my privilege in that regard, though I'm sure I don't get it right all the time.

Is anyone here taking a sociology degree by any chance?

why?

Talk in the thread about people as a class just reminds me of sociology lessons, that's all. "The purpose of The State is to maintain the status quo." Things like that.

Um no, what an odd question Made.

Is that a thinly-veiled put-down, MadeMan ?

Interesting, thoughtful responses, thanks.

I can't say I disagree with anything you've said 7Days or CaptChaos, but I'm not convinced the existence of the patriarchy adds up to men despising women. I just think contempt is too strong an emotion for what you describe, 7Days - a sort of patronising yet generally affectionate bewilderment.

I recognise that among men I know. Misogyny/contempt/hatred I am lucky enough to not encounter very often in real life. Perhaps my experience is not representative, but I do think that saying 'men despise women' is overstating it - perhaps to deliberately shock? - and I'm not sure it's helpful. (Although I do admit it's got me thinking, so thanks for starting the debate, OP!)

Nope. It's an interesting thread that I've been following for most of the day and the whole 'men as a class' feelings I actually agree with.

Individually I don't think that all men despise women, but I do think that the system is designed to keep men at the top and in power.

Phew, that's a relief

The old saying "It's a mans world" is, I feel very much the case still, hence being single at 51.

"If the law says a woman can't rape a man, why is that? Why do we not use the same word for the same act (non-consented penetration)? "

Maybe because the woman isn't penetrating the man?

I'm actually wondering why some women seem to resent being women. They compare themselves to men. Why?

In what sense comparing?

I don't resent being a woman, I love being a woman. I don't like being treated as a second class citizen nor an object.

In what way are you treated as a second class citizen or an object?

If you cant see it being everywhere then I really can't relate to you bumbley. Im not going to even answer that question as I wouldn't stop.

Some men do despise women.

The vast majority do not, and it's the same the other way around, some women despise men.

I don't understand why it's so difficult a concept.

Individually, men can have all sorts of feelings toward women. Individually women can have all sorts of feelings toward men.

Men as a group or class despise women. A saddening number of women facilitate this.

Girls are belittled and their girlhood used as an insult by boys. This happens when they are quite young. Why might this be, if it's not part of male socialisation to see females as lesser. A 6 year old boy will often state categorically, that he loves his Mum and sisters, and yet still tell people who are being a feeble that they are doing it 'like a girl'.

'Oh! But that boy doesn't understand what the language means!' say people who don't get it. Which may or may not be true, but, if that's the case, why do so many men and women, who do understand the words and the idiom, still say it? Boys are socialised within their peer groups to see girls as lesser, boys who don't conform to gender norms are also seen as lesser. Girls seem to internalise these messages and either join in, accept them, or fight them. And the whole cycle carries on into adulthood.

I think that makes sense, someone far more erudite will come along and explain it better, I'm sure!

Capt - its not difficult to understand, its difficult to accept.

Rinks, no, I certainly don't feel that I am being treated as a second class citizen or an object. Perhaps you need to reconsider who you spend time with of you feel that is the case.

Excuse typos - Tinks

Capt, just because people disagree with you does not mean they don't understand you. Many of us do not think that men as a class despise women.