DH and porn

[anoldchestnut]

I know this has been talked about lots before, and I always had the attitude of oh well men like porn - big deal.

But now of course it's MY dh and I'm feeling a little different.....

Basically I saw some photoes printed from various websites last week hidden in our bin (at least they were in the recycling bin ). I really had no idea that dh liked this stuff, and why on earth did he have to print them off? What is worrying me though, apart from generally feeling uncomfortable with the idea of dh 'sorting himself out' (as opposed to me sorting him out) is that some of the photoes were of men doing it with other men, one or two were of transexuals i.e. men with boobs that looked liked women but had penises. In the last few months he seems to have had a preference for 'bottom' action with me (I have no desperate objection to this, and put it down to a dislike of condoms - and ironically I going to GP tomorrow to go back on pill). He has also started immacing his 'undercarriage' - OK so have I, but I'm really wondering what on earth is going on here. He's 41 - is he questionning his sexuality? Does he not find me attractive anymore (despite having lost 1.5 stone and now being a size 6 to 8)?

I realise this sounds a bit troll-like, but honestly I'm not. I've been posting for years, although infrequesntly, but I remember the brain/brian thing, cod and custy are my fave posters, and misdee and sparkly are sisters if that helps prove I'm a regular poster.

TIA

Children are very good at sensing when their parents are happy or unhappy with each other. Why is this your pay back? Have you told him that you were unfaithful? Has he "forgiven" you? You say you did it because it was good to feel sexy again. Why wasn't he making you feel sexy again?

Life is too short to be waisted on people that make us unhappy. Let us know how your friend gets on with him. I doubt he will confide in anyone.

Yes you're right re the kids. But part of me feels I/we owe it to them to try. They would be devastated if we split up, though fi we handle it properly I dare say in time they'd get used to it.

Just feels like pay back cos of what I did, and maybe I deserve this. No he doesn't know, though the other guy's wife does and they've been trying really hard to put things behind them and build up their relationship again.

No he doesn't make me feel sexy or attractive or loved more than life itself which is what I want. Though obviously I don't make him feel like that either. I keep thinking maybe this is an opportunity for both of us to go our seperate ways and find what we;re looking for, but then doubt creeps back in my mind and I think what if I don't find what I'm looking for; I don;t want to grow old on my own, I want to share my life with someone, but I'm not sure we can change things between us, but then again we ought to try. All of this is assuming he's straight of course - if he's not then obviuosly we have no future, at least not as a married couple.

It's been the longest weekend of my life. I was going to wait a few weeks as we have quite a lot on this month and I don't want to ruin it, but I can't wait that long - it's eating me up, so I'm thinking I might confront him this weekend if I'm brave enough.

Chestnut, so sorry to hear this, especially after everything seemed to be going in a better direction.

Maybe you are both busy but how long are you going to wait until you confront him about the missing condom? I'm sure its eating at you, the sooner you talk to him, the better, whatever the consequences.

Stay strong X

AOC - I was following your thread and wondered how things are now? Any update?

Hope you are ok

x