Would you give this man a second date?

[needsmorecake]

Im really in two minds.

We got on well, he seemed nice, normal. hes solvent and has a good job. He was interested in what i had to say and he felt very comfortable.

however, i did not fancy him at all, though its very clear he fancied me.

He has asked for a second date, Ive said yes, to see how it goes, but im not sure.

Just bin

I think it sounds like you'd already made up your mind on page 1 of this thread anyway.

Could it be the whatsapp messages were not sent at that time? If I haven't got a good signal, mine can arrive all at once and at odd hours of the day.

No matter what the time is of the message though, I'd be pissed off at someone asking me for a photo so soon and asking me how my night was before I'd barely got through the door. Obviously he's too keen and its not reciprocated. You need to tell him how you feel as if a second date is on the cards, he must have thought you liked him too.

He's texting these things because he does fancy you, you agreeing to a 2nd date suggests you also liked him, and if you fancied him then, as you say, you would probably be happy to get them. However he's sending them despite no return input from you which suggests he's not really picking up on the fact you are only lukewarm. Either that or he has picked up that you are lukewarm and thinks keeping up the keen even without responses will make you more keen. Not a tactic that generally works.

I suspect if you're getting annoyed then on a 2nd date you are likely to be a bit tetchy/brusque and he will try even harder and that will be even more annoying. that is if you get that far. I suspect every subsequent text from him between now and then is going to be more and more irritating.

I think I'm saying that you should probably not bother, but I think you've decided that anyway.

My experience has always been that I know straight away if I fancy someone. If I don't straight away it doesn't develop. I've tried to have relationships with men I didn't fancy- never worked.

I think you've already made your mind up. Text him and just say you had a nice time but didn't feel you connected.

On the flip side... The guy I've been seeing for 3 weeks now actually PHONED me at 1.30am 3 days after our first date! We were both out separately that night with friends and he didn't realise what the time was. I was asleep and didn't even hear the phone. I was flattered actually, but I did/do fancy the pants off him!

sorry - no i didn't say i would be dating someone i wasn't attracted to. i said that i had experienced amazing chemistry with people who i haven't initially noticed or felt immediate attraction for. i also said that personally i only really know what's there when i kiss someone re: someone could be gorgeous and tick lots of boxes but the chemistry be all wrong somehow when you're intimate or someone youd never really been aware of any spark with could kiss you and blow your mind with the chemistry and then you do become really attracted to them.

so whereas for you you're saying no initial instant attraction is a no no for me i was saying awkward/not right/no chemistry kiss is a no no and it's not about technique or something you can teach (jesus i can't think of anything worse) but about how your energies for want of a better word dance with each other you know? either you get the curly kundalini up the spine or you don't.

and personally i've found it very fucking surprising sometimes as to who does set off all that awesome energy and been like whoah who knew that was there?