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Original poster

Would you give this man a second date?

82 replies

needsmorecake · 27/06/2014 14:14

Im really in two minds.

We got on well, he seemed nice, normal. hes solvent and has a good job. He was interested in what i had to say and he felt very comfortable.

however, i did not fancy him at all, though its very clear he fancied me.

He has asked for a second date, Ive said yes, to see how it goes, but im not sure.

OP posts:
YouMakeMeHappy · 28/06/2014 10:23

You might have a point with kissing honey. But that could be trained? I think if you became slowly attracted to a man over time then you would've been even more attracted to a man who you found attractive on first sight.

Pico2 · 28/06/2014 10:27

I'd say no, following the texts. I think that different types of people use texts differently and he is clearly an "over tester" and you aren't. This suggests that you will have different communication needs and styles.

SweetsForMySweet · 28/06/2014 10:27

Personally, I would not go on another date with this guy if you are not attracted to him. He ticks most of the boxes but if you are not attracted to him why carry on seeing him. It is unlikely that you will change your mind no matter how long you go out. Put him out of his misery sooner rather than later

TheHoneyBadger · 28/06/2014 10:47

no you cannot cannot cannot train someone to kiss! god no.

Original poster
needsmorecake · 28/06/2014 11:26

Fuck, I've got better things to do with my time than training a grown man to kiss.

He's pissing me off again by asking for a photo of me now, as he wants to see me.

Blee.

OP posts:
TheHoneyBadger · 28/06/2014 11:29

oh god you have to get rid now. that is ridiculous.

TheHoneyBadger · 28/06/2014 11:30

how about a, 'hi it was nice to meet you yesterday. having given it some thought i don't wish to continue. good luck with your dating :) '

Optimist1 · 28/06/2014 11:32

Run for the hills, OP! As a PP said, if he's behaving like this after a 90-minute coffee, what will he be like after one/two/several more dates?

eddielizzard · 28/06/2014 11:42

no more dates. clearly doesn't do it for you!

afriendcalledfive · 28/06/2014 13:17

I second honeybadgers way of discontinuing anything with him. Text that to him, op, the sooner the better. He sounds like a right twonker.

KillmeNow · 28/06/2014 13:25

I would think that he is just over eager in the light of the messages (not texts ) and their content. Nothing really worrying in these and the timings are just not your timings.

He may well be used to messages like these to and from friends. Lots of people do send things as they occur to them and get a reply as and when the recipient has time to do so.They are just random thoughts not stalker material.

It seems to me that you are looking for a way not to have a relationship with anyone really as you are so eager to see the worst in this man with very little to go on.

TheHoneyBadger · 28/06/2014 13:37

no kill me now, it isn't normal to text someone 3 times without a reply the same day as having met them for the first time for a coffee. i don't think the OP seeing this means she's secretly sabotaging any chance of a relationship with anyone.

Bankwadgery · 28/06/2014 16:44

Whys would someone who you have met once ask for a photo? That is very weird, I wouldn't see him again, just tell him NO!

Scarletohello · 28/06/2014 16:55

Just tell him you thought he was a nice guy but there was no 'spark'. Very hard for anyone to disagree with that. You aren't attracted to him and he's being a bit too needy and demanding now so do you and him a favour and get rid.

Avarose1234 · 28/06/2014 17:27

If you don't fancy him there's no point in wasting both of your time x

frames · 28/06/2014 19:15

Possibly reading too much into all of this. You don't seem to want to get to know him, his interest in you, is being interpreted as needy, and you are too concerned about settling for something less..than you expect.

Frogisatwat · 28/06/2014 19:49

Sorry but middle of the night texts iS needy.

Springheeled · 28/06/2014 19:58

After no instant chemistry? Yes. After those texts? No way!!!!

VitoCorleone · 28/06/2014 20:09

Well if you haven't actually told him you're not interested then how is he to know? He obviously really likes you and thinks you feel the same. Tell him your not interested if you aren't, he's not psychic

GarlicJunoWho · 28/06/2014 20:11

Very loud NO from me, too. Not because of the attraction thing, but the pushy over-attentive controlling intrusive and demanding premature communication. Bin! Next!

I can't even begin to encompass the idea that you should not only be planning your wedding with a man you've only met once and don't fancy, being flattered by his desperation, but training him to kiss! Confused Confused [uncontrolled laughter]

Loletta · 28/06/2014 20:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

YouMakeMeHappy · 28/06/2014 20:18

Honey I don't understand your thinking; you say that you would carry on dating a man you didn't find attractive in the hope that something would grow, he you would write off an otherwise perfect man if he was a bad kisser? I'm Not sure what a bad kisser tbh, I think it comes down to how you feel. My husband could kiss me anyway he likes and I'd enjoy it, but I could never ever bring myself to kiss a bloke who i didn't find really really hot physically.

ladygracie · 28/06/2014 20:18

I came on to say that I think what's app is less intrusive than a text. I am unable to explain why though. Had you replied before he asked for a photo or is that 4 texts without a reply?

HappyAgainOneDay · 28/06/2014 20:20

I reckon it's not just dating the man wants but, because of his eagerness, something more errm intimate ...

JapaneseMargaret · 28/06/2014 20:59

Jaysus. Training a bloke you don't fancy to kiss you. Grin I've heard it all now. Any man really is better than no man at all, for some people.

The 1:30AM text and the photo request are nail-in-coffin stuff. Cut him loose.

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