Murdered by my boyfriend -BBC3

[Heartofgoldheadofcabbage]

If ever a programme should be recommended viewing it should be this. I have just finished watching the above and thank the stars I (eventually) escaped my bad situation.
Anyone else watch this?

[GarlicJunoWho]

Isabeller - please would you have a look at this thread, if you haven't already? Very much hoping OP comes back to it in one piece tomorrow, when I'm sure she'd welcome another outstretched hand.

[Isabeller]

Thank you Garlic I will do that.

[isshoes]

This was an extremely difficult watch and I am desperately sorry for anyone who has been through, or is going through this situation.

However I want to add that I too was horrified by the attitude towards the male poster on here who spoke of his experience as the victim of DV. Yes the proportion of male to female DV is probably a lot higher than the other way round, but that doesn't mean we should ignore or dismiss the cases where men are the victim, particularly when one poster says he has been through it himself.

[Meeeep]

I

[Sleepingbunnies]

Having just taken a friend in 2 weeks ago (only for a week before she went back) this programme made me cry and cry. For my friend, I am worried she will be next. She came to me in the middle of the night after he had BIT her face.

I am still very shaken this morning :(

[justiceofthePeas]

sleeping I remember your thread
There is still time for your friend.

[Sleepingbunnies]

I hope so justice

[EhricLovesTheBhrothers]

It's not the case that male victims aren't important. However it's impossible and unhelpful to try to be gender blind about DV. The facts are that male on female DV is a distinct phenomenon and needs to be addressed as such.
I'm not saying women aren't abusive by the way. Fucking Shona dickwad Sibaray just wrote an article in the daily shit detailing the many ways she has abusedher husband over the years. Of course female on male violence happens (and same sex DV too). However it seems to me that women tend to abuse the ones under their control, ie children, whereas men abuse women first, then children. Women's abuse also tends IME to be emotional more than physical.
Domestic abuse is absolutely gendered and it's pointless to pretend otherwise.

[isshoes]

There are far more female victims than male. But that doesn't excuse the attitude to the male poster up thread, and it doesn't mean you shouldn't take the whole picture into account when discussing how hideous it all is.

[Happynow1]

Just watched this on I player, so sad. I was with my ex for 13 years, I was forever leaving him, but it was always easier just to get back with him. When I would think of my future I knew we shouldn't/ wouldn't be together but I knew they only way I would get rid of him is if one of us died or he went to prison. Four years ago he got sent down, and luckily - although there have been a few bumps since he got out, I am free of him. Our daughter is 12, and I can't believe how I ever thought she needed him around, coz she only really remembers the bad memories, and she is doing so much better without him. We watched this together, cried together, and thanked our lucky stars together.