The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Sipping Super Summer Mocktails Whilst Soaking Up Some Sun.

[Mouseface]

Hello, tis me, Mouse

I'm what some would call a 'controlled' drinker these day, but I wasn't always and I'm not alone on this wonderful bus, Gerald, when I say that.

We have drinkers who drink each day, those who abstain completely and those who are not sure what it is that they actually want just yet....

We won't judge you for drinking, no matter what your reason is, we've all been in your shoes somewhere along the way!! And we have ALL used every excuse under the sun too!

We have some Babes who ride on the Roof-Rack, (clinging on for dear life ) and then we have an expandable Side-Car, which some Babes use, but the bus, well, the bus, our wonderful Gerald, who takes us here and there, to pick up people in need of an unbiased and much needed ear to listen to. :)

There are lots of ears on this bus, and not a single one will turn you away and not listen!

Two things that we do believe here are -

1. • The Vulnerable Need Our Support, Not Our Judgement
2. • Alcohol Fosters Inertia

If you are lurking and reading this thread, there is a reason for it, isn't there?

Stay lurking or come and say hello! We don't always bite.

And for those who'd like a bit of history, HERE'S THE LAST THREAD

And of course, THIS IS WHY WE ARE ALL HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE, A VERY AWE INSPIRING READ

See you soon x

Oh hope your post had my stress levels rising just reading it. I feel for you, I hope you are able to follow the advice from venus and isinde, something has to give before you break

Had to fight the WW tooth and nail tonight. Walked home past lots of pubs and people sat outside enjoying wine.

Got in and had a lemonade but it didn't feel the same. I'm ok now - 8pm seems to be my tipping point. Having some tea and a bit of chocolate.

Lost another lb at SW. Clearly the 4000 calories of wine I've been consuming a week is going somewhere!

I really want to get to a week. Then I can think very seriously about whether I'm going to drink on my wedding anniversary next weekend. DD at nan and granddad's so DH and I have a date.

Love this thread. If it wasn't here, I KNOW I'd still be drinking. Much love everyone ??

Medusa you are very welcome here. When the bus mis busy like this, new babes can feel a bit lost so please keep posting and make your voice heard.
I have lapsed badly these last 3 days. The warm weather tempts me too much so I am annoyed with myself. Where would you like to get to with your dinking? There are Babes here who can help you.
indie you rabbit murdering slack ass! Don't you dare disappear again!
Had a lovely day off today taking Ds up the East Neuk to rock pool and guddle and eat fish and chips.
I didn't have fish and chips.virtuous emoticon
I have a meeting with distracted chap tomorrow......

medusa hi babe and your so very welcome on our lovely friendly bus. Please don't hate yourself, sounds like your under a lot of pressure and I know better than anyone, infact we all do that wine is an instant stress buster!!! Think about this, we all know that a big giant choc eclair will make us feel fat and and sabotage our diet but it feels so good at the time and then so disappointed when the scales betray us. Wine is just the same and it make you feel better about yourself like a lovely friend only to be a bitch in the morning and then you feel bad all day and eat shite so your fed up the next night the cycle starts again. As well as your self esteem taking a thrashing, it's a depressant and so your mood slides day by day, I could write the book babe.

You've done great by posting and keep posting, we are a nice bunch and we've all been where you are now. I was drinking 1 and a half bottles every night and had the cheek to have no hangover which I suspect was a very bad thing, but looking back it dragged me down to gutter level.

We all help each other here and I really look forward to getting to know you, keep your chin up babe xx

margaret I also had to battle the wine witch. I went for a pub lunch with DD2, her boyfriend and his family. They were sinking wine, cocktails and beer. I had an alcohol free beer as i was driving but when i got home i was very tempted to open a bottle of cold white in the sunny garden. Thankfully i resisted.

ma You must have been near me today if you were in the East Neuk. I live in St Andrews. Do you live nearby? I would love to meet a real live mnetter!

Hello to everyone else. I am rubbish at remembering names.

Hello especially to medusa as a relative newcomer to the bus i can say this is the friendliest place i have ever hung out on MN.

this is the friendliest place i have ever hung out on MN

So true!!

little white I am further down the coast into Fife,but sometimes come to the West Sands for a day out with the Dcs.

margaret wedding anniversary, date night, drinking or not.... well now I am on my favourite topic - sober sex (close your ears and eyes all those who are not getting any..)

There was nothing in my background which prepared me for the delights of sober sex. From the early days of teenage fumblings, sex was always associated with having a drink. Meeting new people, arranging dates - all associated with being drunk. Fast forward to relationship with exh (who was financially, and sexually abusive) and having a drink before sex was my only salvation, in fact he used to get me drunk because he knew that I would be less resistant.

I truly believed that it was impossible for me to have sex if I was not drunk.

MY dp and I got together (predictably) in a drunken haze... and so the cycle would have continued.... except dp is not abusive, he does not have a problem relationship with alcohol... and also I decided to come to my senses.

So (possibly tmi here), instead of going to bed after a bottle and a half of wine and trying to: 1) stay awake 2) grit my teeth and search desperately for an elusive and diminished orgasm, I now delight in being able to properly and rightly, feel and enjoy the anticipation, the touch, the sensation, and the full glory of a completely sober orgasm

I tell you, life without drinking can be wonderfully different.

Hi everyone, I missed a night on MN and wow this thread moves fast. I went to the cinema with some girlfriends and naturally we went to the pub after, I drank..... a pint of ..... soda water {grin] so proud of myself, had a minor urge for wine on the way home from work but lost it by the time I got in. My fridge is full of ginger ale and tonic ready for the weekend which really will be my first challenge cos DH wants to go on a long walk we did last year, its great as we take a ferry over to a lovely park, walk miles round the coast into a small village by the sea that is like being abroad then get a boat back over the water to the old quarter of our city all of which involves several pubs on the way, I have suggested to him that I may not be drinking and all week I have felt quite strong but not sure how well I will fare if Sat is a lovely sunny day.
Babyj SW buddy WOW 5lb off well done you, I weigh in on Tuesday and seeing as over the last two drunken weeks I put on 7 I am really hoping for a loss due to lack of alcohol. I don't know if its my imagination but I feel better after just 4 days, less lethargic but like some of the others I wake up every night (usually for a wee or two due to all the fizzy water I am drinking) hopefully this will improve. thanks all for being here, I will get to learn who everyone is soon I am sure but I agree margaret and Littlewhitebagthis is the friendliest place i have ever hung out on MN. off to bed now after yet another wee

venus! You kind of read my mind there!! I was deliberating a post in the near future about this very topic.

nipping in to say hi to all....day 3 for me.....whoopee! technically already into day 4.....
i dont think ive managed that for years and years.

apologies for not keeping up wit hthe thread - but by gum it does move fast!

im also looking for nice "special" soft drinks as an alternative to booze.....

isin....
i went to an AA meeting last night (a first) - they stressed to me that all you need is a desire to give up.....it doesnt matter if you fall off the bus - keep talking and when your ready you will give it another go. i was drinking exactly what you are....at least a bottle per night.

ive managed 3 days without any alcohol at all but i cant honestly say i feel any better for it....im waiting to magically feel better....less tired, sluggish etc....maybe my body is just in shock....

isinde it isn't only you, the (aptly put) 'WW rut' also makes me withdraw from the thread - and unfortunately I let her win tonight too . But, I do find that posting helps inspire me to try more often, while withdrawing gives me the internal green light. You are intrinsic to the bus and DO always support and encourage others. We miss you when you aren't here.

Hello all from sleep-free central HQ. (mega post, sorry)

Just want to say I am overwhelmed by the support and help on here from you wonderful lot. I was really moved reading the encouragement on the thread this morning - I have had more help on here from you babes in one day than from anyone in RL for - oh, years.... So thanks, thanks, thanks again. And especially for the big Scottish hug from Baby. I am loving the Scottish vibe on this bus, can we park up near Glasgow for the Games please?

I feel a bit whiny now, it's only a job!

Ma - how is your work situation? And how is lovely ds? Is he looking forward to the summer holidays, and has he got friends to see? He sounds soooo nice!

Rural good luck with the Op. Ma must let you have some green opal fruits for your recovery, surely?

Beaches - good luck with the move xxx And thanks for the encouragement...

So many of your posts struck a chord - Venus, yes I do take on responsibility. Thing is before marriage and kids I was never like that, had fun jobs and partied hard for years, but been forced into it since kids by default as OH so crap, but yes, brought up with work ethic, and a certain pride in coping, which is so hard to drop even when I'm clearly not coping and am my own worst enemy. Having a good think about your emergency mask... or mine! Sat in the sun for an hour with a book tonight when ds at training and contemplated - think it is a beach and nothing to do for a month. But can't achieve that so.... planning some little relaxations.

Isinde thanks for the HR advice. Right now I am ...

1. Logging all my extra hours
2. Asking my boss for TOIL (in WRITING) which I can copy into Union if it is a no
3. Checking my contract and sending a copy to HR
4. Wording an email about how much work I have to do on my own for next 2.5 weeks as colleague on holiday and listing priorities and then going to send it with request for help in how to achieve everything or advice on what to drop.
   My tactic is to put as much in writing as I can because so far only have verbal record of complaints. Am also
5. downloading HSE stress survey from Hazards.org website, completing it and emailing my boss / Union with the results (which will prove how bad the problem is)

Does that sound a good start? Am off in 3 weeks again, then vital training early September but if it doesn't improve by then, time off definitely an option

Guggs, remember how excited I was when you left your job behind? I am trailing in your wake, but still tunnelling out, I hope...

The fact they are being vague about what the new structure / posts will be is worrying. Meeting some of the team soon in a central location (we are scattered across the country) and I know we are the breakout committee who want to leave

Vicar shhh, can't tell you what I do as don't want to out myself but basically work for a bunch of twunts in a high profile job where if I bugger it up I will be in trouble - though buggering things up when stressed and short staffed is not unlikely. Used to be great a few years ago, isn't now. I will PM you all one day when I break free and out them all, haha.
Well done on day 4 though babe!!! These are for you

Your name reminds me of the prison film McVicar, which must be where these prison metaphors are creeping in and so am thinking of you as my Great Escape ally. As Roger Daltrey's McVicar said to the 'screws' (ooh, I love prison jargon) 'I may not come first, but I'll be the best f*cking second they ever had'. (though he didn't say it with an asterisk of course, that would be impossible.)

Came close to panic a few times in work today, like always, but am OK at this very moment (till I turn the light off to go to sleep, mwah, ha ha)

I sound braver than I feel inside. But we are all a bit like that aren't we?

I do feel braver for knowing you lot though. Thank you xxxxx

Hello you lot! I've been here on and off for years, but this year I've been hanging out on the DRY thread because I needed a thread which didn't talk about moderation as an option - it was triggering for me for a while. But! You guys are just SO lovely and I miss so many of you and your amazing wisdom that, can I come back on the bus please?

I've been sober since the beginning of March. Pretty much planning to stay that way. Can't believe I've wasted so much of my life.

Mirn

Morning babes, another night plagued with nightmares so gave up and got up at 5. I'm always tearful and unsettled after I've seen my therapist but I guess I'm facing my deep hurt and disappointments head on without booze for the first time in my life.

It sounds dramatic but I'm 43, can't work because of my crohn's and I can't help thinking my best years are behind me. My lovely therapist has pointed out something that never even occurred to me, I've been told what to do my whole life... The only child of adoring patents who wanted me to do well so I was always trying to reach their high standards (all done with love), I left home the day I got married, then had a controlling jealous husband who took his own insecurities out on me until I left with a 2 year old to bring up, within a year met current dh who is a good man but selfish and stubborn and I generally make his opinions my opinions for an easy life. Wine was one of the few things I could control until it controlled me.... I think the reason things are breaking down is that I no longer wish to be controlled, I feel like a child who never got to grow up, I've never lived alone, fought with siblings so I'm super duper sensitive when confrontation occurs and I'm finding a voice and not everyone likes it, all roads led to a big giant nervous breakdown so I need to keep using that voice until my loved ones finally hear me!!!!' I have dreams too!!!

inside you know how many times I've thrown shit at the wall hoping it sticks, trying to get sober, getting sober, staying sober, and dealing with what stopped us being sober in the first place, it's what we're all doing, you are terribly missed here, the failures teach us much more than the successes and you a one smart, sassy, extremely funny, wildly intelligent woman so WE NEED YOU, there's not one thing you could tell me to make me love you less and that goes for all of us, Capito!!!!!!

eccles looking good there my friend, you've got wee boing
going on there girlfriend, loving it babe.

looking saw a wee flicker of the looking I love, tummy in, head up, go to work, log everything and do what you can, while you can, bob Dylan sang once "life is what happens when your busy doing other things" get the balance right whatever it takes it or you'll lose yours, your way too fabulous for us to let that happen.

ma show the norks day is upon us, I'm standing upright, breathing in and sticking mine out to salute our "nork master"

spanna a new house is like a fresh start, I wish you health and happiness in your new "crib" (I'm down with the kids) aye right

rural I'm sending wry to do your op cause id trust her with my life and your so precious to us. Take care and post if you can and I hope there no pain or discomfort for you.

Feel strange today, like a hormonal teenager, I guess mentally that's what I am, stamping my feet to get what I want and by god I'll keep stamping, sober and strong.

If that horse gives me any nonsense today I'll hang on like a rodeo rider, Rodeo Jane, I like it......

Mwah my fiends xxxx

Isindethickofit I did this on and off for ages, was doing 2 bottles a night possibly more at weekends I would go a day or two AF then 'reward' myself for staying off it then once I had drunk again it was 'ah to hell with it, one more week won't make much difference then I would feel guilty again, worry about my health, look at my eye bags and blotchy skin, coated tongue and think, no point stopping today as tomorrows the weekend! flawed logic if ever there was. I am only on day 5 today so no guarantees that I can do it but coming here has really strengthened my resolve and for the first time I feel strong enough to try again. I have been honest 'out loud' (rather than the battle in my head) for the first time ever, even DH does not know the full extent he just knows I overdo it a bit lot at weekends and want to cut down. This weekend is my big test, stay with us please and one day the resolve will appear, until then I doubt anyone here will judge at all.

Well said eccles your so kind reaching out when your battling heroically yourself. Please don't overthink staying sober, if you have a bottle or 2 over the weekend, it's what "normal" drinkers do, stil 5 sober days which totally amazing. I've stopped counting days, it seems as the days build do does the pressure so when I did drink that one bottle, my self disappointment and frustration and perceived failure to myself and my braver more successful babe friends would lead me to a mega binge!!!!. One day at a time and you've saved your liver 8 bottles of wine, take credit, be proud, every single day is a victory, don't heap to much pressure, your doing amazing, if you have any fabulous SW recipes could you PM to me, I have a 3 year old, a 15 year old, a grumpy food critical DH (he is an amazing cook) and I end up making all different dinners, which is expensive and hard work, your my SW hero, save me from this slavery xxxxx

Isindie - you and me bebe, I'm exactly the same, that's why sometimes I don't post either. At the moment I'm doing ok, and that is a guarded 'ok' because it could all change from one day to another. My job is very stressful and full-on and I know that wine relaxes me after a diffcult day or if I'm in an hotel room somewhere, but then it just makes me more anxious the next day. Oh! the hamster wheel of on and off. But I try (and it is bloody difficult) to have at least four days a week off, and sometimes I am chewing my knuckles with anxiety until 8pm and I am 'safe'. Sometimes there is just too much 'day' left at the end of my day, if you know what I mean and that is when it is dangerous for me.

However, we are all on the same journey, just different places along the road, but the bus keeps us all together and I get something from every single babe that posts, even if I find myself nodding along, or wincing in sympathy.

Lovely babes have good weekend, be kind to yourselves.

Ma Tu me manque aussi cherie - ce que je peux avoir un vert opale fruits? Pour l'amour du bon vieux temps?

Love to all - Ladame x

PS It is fking BOILING here. I'm being bitten to pieces by nastly flying things and guggs the giant spiders are back in my crocs again

I was just going to hop on and advise looking to do a massive poo on the boss's desk. Then have a little run round the car park with you top over your head and tits out. Well that's what I always felt like doing anyway

Then I was going to tell isinde to just get her arse back on the bus but then laMadame mentioned the giant spiders....wimper...bleaches brain..what eats spiders?

Will read and post properly later. I'm good but still battling with my ds to get him to use the flipping loo. Think that potty training has been the biggest threat to my sobriety so far. He's 4 and 3/4,very,very bright,full on,wonderful and not really continent.Bugger.

Hi all

Isind I'm the same as you. Ashamed and embarrassed.

For various reasons it's a big weekend for us but I'm determined to keep it to a minimum and there's someone here not drinking so I'm going to keep a lid on it to support them.

I'll be back on this bus permanently these coming days.

You're all an inspiration

I have popped on to write how i feel today.

It is day 14 for me. Great i know. But it doesn't feel great. it feels tiring and endless. I was certain i would lose weight, look fab and leap out of bed each morning with a spring in my step.

The reality is that i am not sleeping well. The mornings are a bitch. I feel more tired and unmotivated than i did when i was drinking. I do tend to perk up by mid afternoon though.

I have not lost any weight and instead i seem to be stuffing my face; i assume as compensation for not drinking?

I have a lovely house, great DH, fantastic children and a job i love. So why do i feel like complete and utter shit? I don't think i am depressed. Just very, very fed up.

Look out there. The sun is shining. It is beautiful. I live in one of the nicest places in Scotland and i am sitting here procrastinating about taking the dog out for a walk.

Rant over. Thank you for listening. As you were.

Thank you all for being kind and supportive. You are truly lovely people.