Had anyone married in prison?

[HarrietLicthman]

I've been with my partner for just over 9 years. He's been inside for just over 3. We've decided to get married and I'm so excited, nervous and all of those emotions.

I just wanted to talk to anyone else who has done this? It's can be quite a lonely time having a partner inside.

I'm not looking for advice on if I should marry him, that has been decided already. I'm just looking for someone even just one person who knows my situation and I can talk to

Please no negative posts I get enough of that in RL as it is

Thanks

I really appreciate all the posts but really just want to speak to people who've been here of if any of you know any forums or website that this would be better placed I would love to hear

It's hard to explain to people who haven't been here and I don't expect people to understand

He might not be A category a prisoner he could just be there because they had a space,

To op I didn't get married but i have had a relationship with someone who was/is in prison if you want to talk

The one my boss went too was in the prison chapel, Cat C

I understand, Harriet...have you tried the PrisonTalk forum...I think it is mixed US and Uk.

Why would you do this OP? Very bad idea. You clearly know that really because you don't want to say what he was convicted of.

Do you have children with him?

Well of course people irl will be worried for you. I would if my daughter/friend was marrying a criminal. Who by the sound of it had done something pretty terrible. It's not being negative for the sake of it.

I do honestly hope though that he is a reformed character and that you have a happy life.

You want to be his wife, but you don't want to even say on an anonymous forum what his crime is.

Surely if you're going to set yourself up for a lifetime of having to tell everyone what your next of kin's situation is, it would be best to get used to it?

Or... you could change your mind and go and have a normal life?

I have a friend who is marrying someone who just got out of a Cat A prison. They swear he was/is innocent. Nah.

Harriett - bless, you won't find people here who have been through that because "WTF would you want to marry someone in that situation"

Is he your first love?
have you had unhappy previous relationships?

Because so far, you come across as being very naive.

Surely he'll never ever get a job? Or a mortgage? That would seriously bother me. The job bit more so of course. Can you go to uni if you've been in prison? I suppose you can. Are other things off the cards though?

What has made you want to marry now? Is it the realisation that he won't be out at all soon, so you want to just get on with it anyway?

He is appealing against the tariff or the conviction?

What was his sentence? Done 3 already in a Cat A..? What's his Earliest Date of Release?

Obviously it wasn't pinching apples!

When's his review for Cat B? Or what stage is the appeal at?

I'm afraid the devil is in the detail here, & I don't mean the table decorations

Do you even know OP???

Will the marriage be official though if it isn't consummated ?

I've sent you a message OP

He's not an A Cat prisoner which is why we are waiting for him to be moved.

HarrietLicthman Asked if anyone has been in the same position as her, she didn't ask if she should or shouldn't marry him or for anyone to ask why he is in prison.

She has stated he is appealing against his sentence this man could by all means be innocent, we don't know the situation and it is none of our business.

HarrietLicthman A good friend of mine married her partner whilst he was in prison I am going to message you now Hun.

I can't believe that sound people have commented on this post simply to be nosy or for their own entertainment

Mine is a genuine question though.

Thank you MwahMum I think I will leave this now it's not what I came for.

I was once with someone who served a long prison sentence and like you I spent years doing the appeal etc. if your DP was in A cat then you are obviously in for a long wait unless the appeal is successful (my now ex DP has been out of prison for 9 years and the CCRC are still considering his case - it is a VERY long process). Personally if I were in your position I would wait and get married when he comes out. He's obviously not been in that long and both you and he are looking to give reassurances to each other that you are commited to each other. Wait until it settles down and if you must marry then at least wait until he is in a D Cat - you could probably do it on a day release. Prison weddings and short, bleak, functional and not nearly joyful enough. Don't rush to marry now because you want to show your DP that you aren't going to leave him.

thecuntureshow So ignorant, so because someone is in prison they have committed the crime? There are a lot of innocent people in prison or have been convicted on joint enterprise, you don't know OPs partner to start judging him.

What did you expect people to be like Harriet? Natural curiosity I'm afraid. If you didn't want questions, perhaps you should have found a specialist forum for wives/girlfriends of prisoners or something.

HarrietLicthman It's fine, message me as I can't seem to message you. Also I think you should request for this thread to be deleted as I can see it escalating very quickly