I think my marriage may have ended

[isthisthend]

NC but regular, suspect H reads MN and knows my username. Keeping details scant.

Last night H snapped. He totally lost control after I admittedly but unintentionally provoked an already tricky situation. He burst into to our LO bedroom whilst I was trying & failing to resettle after yet another wake up. He was furious that I had chosen that time to bring up a question whilst LO was howling. The answer is that since LO was born I have done every bedtime, nightwaking & morning. We need to sleep train but for reasons that would out me, he really has to be off work.

H pushed me out of the way to get to LO, I don't know why, perhaps instinctively I fought back standing my ground. LO will only settle with a bf, H has never done a bedtime, I had no reason to think there was a valid reason for H to try and do the settling.

H grabbed my arm and yanked me out of his path to get to LO. Today I have extensive bruising & fingermarks as a result. He agreed to leave me to settle LO and his parting shot was it is over and has been for a while.

We've not spoken since. He's at work. He hasn't seen LO today.

I am devastated. I cannot believe we both behaved like that in front of our LO who was clearly terrified.

His behaviour was so out of character. I don't know if it's over. I don't know if I can ever feel the same way about him now. We have a beautiful LO, lovely home, good jobs, a happy marriage or so I thought. How do we recover from this? Can we?

Its all gone, hasn't it?

Lweji I haven't made a comment about mellowing, ppplease did. And it's obvious why I'm asking if people have children. Because if they don't, and I would put money on the fact that they don't, they will find it virtually impossible to understand the situation that the OP describes.

I'm not desperate to justify my choice. I have been calm throughout this thread. I offered the OP an alternate perspective in a situation that was very similar to hers, on the facts, because the 'advice' she was getting from most other posters, including you, was ludicrous. I AM now desperate to help you to understand why you have no right to be in my face as you have been from the first post that I made, what the problem with posts like yours on the relationships boards is. You are aggressive, you are deaf to what the OP has to say, and yes, that is why she is gone, you are closing down supportive spaces. You can be as self satisfied about women's rights as you like but that is a fact. YOUR experience has dictated this thread, not mine.

Your comment about responsibility is interesting. No, I don't take responsibility for the OP - it's easier when you don't tell her what to do. I strongly suggest that you realise the same.

And now, I give up.

You have definitely got the two of us muddled Lweji.

Well I hope that while you've been having this esoteric debate and bickering amongst yourselves, that the OP is OK and safe.