I have never been so unhappy

[Blossomflowers]

Sorry me again, posting about the same old rubbish. Don't know how I have got in such a mess. Just to remind split from X of 20 years, NC for months. We have some how got to the situation where he stays here several nights of the week and every weekend. Our relationship is much improved but there are still big issues with his drinking and odd behaviour sometimes. Will just runaway to his little pad if things get too much for him.

I was OLD but not seeing anyone else atm, I would feel guilty. I am in such a mess moneywise just feel I am going to drown, and just totally adrift, the only thing keeping on the straight and narrow is DS, I just can't see a point in anything, feeling really hopeless, I have to say I have never felt so low in my life and just don't know how to even start getting myself out of this. Don't really know why I am posting but just needed to vent I suppose. Kick up the ass maybe

[Blossomflowers]

Just had a text thanking me for BBQ, pink Rhino

[LisaMed]

Lol lol lol Pink rhino with rhinestones and glittery nail varnish!

[mistlethrush]

And a tuttu.

[Blossomflowers]

Ha ha, 2nd text in a hour telling me about his work. so Pink Rhino in a tutu and sparkles I have no idea why he is even texting me this banal rubbish
DS seemed to want to talk about his Dad yesterday, he now thinks he is totally nuts. I told him the dad is ill and needs to take medication to control this.

[Blossomflowers]

Trouble is I now know he is not taking medication as he supposed to because he was feeling better FFS

[LisaMed]

Pink rhino with lipstick...

[mistlethrush]

LALALALALA Pink Rhino (or Hippo) LALALALA

So, what are you wearing later?

[Blossomflowers]

mistle funnily enough he asked me that, ( which I thought was sweet) no bloody idea, hopeless I know. We are only going for a couple of drinks in country pub, so thinking jeans and a nice top? Depends if warm tonight. Not sure what to say to DS where I am going

[mistlethrush]

I think its sensible to be fairly open (up to a point at least!) with DS - along the lines of 'I'm meeting up with someone and we're going for a drink in a pub - I'll be back in by xpm. Jeans and nice top sounds ideal for that scenario - unless you've got slightly more summery trousers if its hot with you too.

[Blossomflowers]

Yes re DS, just don't want to put him in an awkward position, am only 15 mins down the road and have good mobile reception. Going to do school run in minute so will test out temp re jeans

[DonkeysDontRideBicycles]

Ooh a date that's great!
I'm a poet and don't even know it.

[mumandtwo]

Just been reading through this thread! Is there anyone else who can babysit in future so u don't have to rely on XP or even let him know that you're going out. None of his business really... It's up to you what u do with your life!
The best thing I've done in my situation is to stop replying to texts (5 years on). They know what to say to get a reaction and it's soooo tempting to reply. Now I take great pleasure in ignoring and he's slowly giving up.
I hope you have a lovely time this evening, I met my partner through online dating! Good luck x

[LisaMed]

Does Dr John wear pink nail varnish, lipstick and a tutu like the pink rhinoceros?

And what if the OW got Dr John to get the creep back to her? Would there be a sort of sparkly explosion?

[Blossomflowers]

mumand It is hard and whilst dating then happy to leave DS he is 14. I only asked XP last Saturday to have him to stay as they were going fishing and would have been nice not too worry about timing. It is a classic case of he does not want me but does not want anyone else to be with me. Oh and did I forget to mention he has lost the plot. OK still ignoring text, "pink rhino going attack garden now for the next couple of hours before getting ready for date. Glad to here some good can come of OLD I live in hope, not been that good so far

[DonkeysDontRideBicycles]

Just popped in to see if Blossom is back.

[Blossomflowers]

donkey Got back by 10.30, had a lovely date, he was really nice and wants us to meet again. As just written on dating thread, the only problem is he is really skinny you know the manic cyclist type. Find it of putting but think I should give him a chance, maybe I can get over it

[DonkeysDontRideBicycles]

Oh that is nice Blossom probably just what you needed a relaxed time
.

[Blossomflowers]

donkey Ha ha pedaling. Have DS1 and family coming over later for a BBQ, started work @ 8.00 this morning, must get some money in.Still thinking of rhino Rhino as he pops in my head so often and the urge to contact him is painful ache. What actual fuck is wrong with me.

[DonkeysDontRideBicycles]

cycling pink rhino?

Last night's date may not appear to be your physical type but.... he may have lots of stamina.

[Blossomflowers]

Sure he will have stamina. It was suggested by lisa that everytime I have an urge to text XP ,I envisage a pink Rhino with sparkles, truely I have not lost the plot yet.

[DonkeysDontRideBicycles]

Yes I saw that bit, lisa is a smart cookie. I was throwing the cycling bit in to distract you from He-who-must-not-be-thought-of.

[Blossomflowers]

Ah sorry bit slow on the uptake today. Trying to keep busy to distract, he does not deserve my concern but I care

[mistlethrush]

How was the meet up?

Of course you care - you're a nice person. Trouble is, he isn't - which is why he's trying to burden you with this.

Get that rhino pirouetting...

[LisaMed]

Getting him out of your head is the hard part.

My experience is that it is tough but worth it. I did all sorts of displacement stuff, did creative writing and tried to focus on plot, thought about tv shows, even counted cross stitch where I had to focus on the stitching.

I'm really glad you had a good night last night. You are worth a lot - remember that!

hugs