I have never been so unhappy

[Blossomflowers]

Sorry me again, posting about the same old rubbish. Don't know how I have got in such a mess. Just to remind split from X of 20 years, NC for months. We have some how got to the situation where he stays here several nights of the week and every weekend. Our relationship is much improved but there are still big issues with his drinking and odd behaviour sometimes. Will just runaway to his little pad if things get too much for him.

I was OLD but not seeing anyone else atm, I would feel guilty. I am in such a mess moneywise just feel I am going to drown, and just totally adrift, the only thing keeping on the straight and narrow is DS, I just can't see a point in anything, feeling really hopeless, I have to say I have never felt so low in my life and just don't know how to even start getting myself out of this. Don't really know why I am posting but just needed to vent I suppose. Kick up the ass maybe

I bet, I will be looking for tips soon - I'm not long out a 12 year relationship and have yet to indulge in the delights of online dating - not sure if it's for me yet.

You know Jan it can be fun I have met some lovely people, great for your confidence, mine was on the floor end of last year. Just being told you are attractive is a good start. How else would I meet people at my age and living in the middle of bloody nowhere.

Yes, I'm a mature woman so not sure how I will meet them, not ready for it just yet but I will get around to it, I will probably have to!

I am was 49 this month, can't believe it, don't feel that old. Men my age seem to look do old, though half of them are probably lying about their age lol

I turned 50 in June! The men here my age are ugly and fat, I'm neither! Maybe I will turn into a cougar.

Nor me, you know I am constantly being contacted by boys in their 20's saying they would love to be with an older woman. I just couldn't do it, just don't get it.

I tend to find men in early 40's a better match for me. But keep and open mind.

Yes, I don't think I could go out with a man under 40 tbh, just no! Flattering for you though.

I get it, younger men have always fancied older women.

Jan I might be good for my age but would worry about wobbly bits and wrinkles. Am chatting to a couple of lovely fellas atm, over 40 you will be pleased to hear. This is going to be my distraction, every time I think of text FW will go on POF.

Good!

Just got off the phone with local man, sounds nice and we are going to meet up.
Have had several texts from FW and ignoring, last night he wanted nothing more to do with me, today he wants us to take DS out next week. Ignore, ignore, ignore.

Yes Ignore (except when gives you your money back) and your busy next week. If he wants to take DS out then he doesn't need you.

Enjoy you meeting with 'local' man.

If you ignore he has nobody to play his stupid games with, keep doing it, he'll get bored and move on to his next victim. Stop playing happy families with him, you know the reality is the complete opposite.

Good luck with your date!

Took DS shopping and some lunch, kept me busy. Several nice texts from "local man". Still not replied to FW.

Don't reply blossom it's time to move on!!

Thanks louby am staying strong today, bank balance suffered a bit, new shoes and perfume that hopefully I can use on the date.

Date arranged for this evening with "mr local". And still not replied to FW. Will have to see him @ some point to get cash. His texts make me angry.

Sending hugs and positive vibes. Good luck with Mr Local.

Thanks lisa I will not get my hopes up, as have become very cynical about OLD but on the face of it he sounds lovely.
I have made a decision that I need to sell this house, have to invest some money to get saleable condition so could take some time so not immediate but something to focus on.

Update, date was brilliant with local man, chatted for over 3 hours last night, wants to meet up over the weekend and seems very keen. I hope he is not too good to be true.

Had several txts from FW when I got home, have ignored. He is supposed to be paying me some money today that he owes me for weekends. let us see if that happens

Glad you date went well and you enjoyed yourself.

Yes keep ignoring FW. Although I think he will turn nasty again anyday as he not getting anything from you.

If you sell your house will you be able set yourself in another house without to large a mortgage.

RE House, not sure what will happen about house bit of a long term goal really.

Sounds great about the date!

Continue with ignoring the texts.

Having some sort of plan is good - and you might be able to make a fresh start which will almost certainly be a good idea.

Am on holiday in west country so wifi bit patchy but glad to read date went well.

Selling the house was something you had hoped to avoid but if it makes financial sense it is hard to reject.

Kitty up the duff your pets are here to stay - shouldn't laugh it never rains but pours.

Keep on rationing contact with FW to barest minimum ie business-like eg get what he owes you. He hasn't made that cash reimbursement today yet has he.

New shoes + perfume very good for confidence boosting btw. Have a good weekend.

donkey you have brought the bad weather then. lol
Flippin hell have no idea what you are supposed to do about kittens, will have to go to vet and get some advice, they will be really cute though.
Umm perfume shoes, also couple of new dresses, been such a long time since I treated myself, belated birthday present to myself.

FW coming over later to give me money and chicken food.