I have never been so unhappy

[Blossomflowers]

Sorry me again, posting about the same old rubbish. Don't know how I have got in such a mess. Just to remind split from X of 20 years, NC for months. We have some how got to the situation where he stays here several nights of the week and every weekend. Our relationship is much improved but there are still big issues with his drinking and odd behaviour sometimes. Will just runaway to his little pad if things get too much for him.

I was OLD but not seeing anyone else atm, I would feel guilty. I am in such a mess moneywise just feel I am going to drown, and just totally adrift, the only thing keeping on the straight and narrow is DS, I just can't see a point in anything, feeling really hopeless, I have to say I have never felt so low in my life and just don't know how to even start getting myself out of this. Don't really know why I am posting but just needed to vent I suppose. Kick up the ass maybe

lisa He wants to help DS buy a present, I would be churlish if not accept. I think I will just pretend I am not having a birthday this year.In past yes he was quite good about birthday gifts and treats, last year not so much.

Well as it's meant to be DS choosing I would focus absolutely on DS and be very grateful and ifg you suspect ex contributed financially to said gift just play dumb and ignore, just thank him for being a taxi if anything.

FW said he would like to come over this morning said he never wants to quarrel again and will be civil and understanding????, this text came in @ 1.00 last night, I have not responded, he will have probably forgotten he sent it. Just want my £300 . Am feeling upset but getting on with work. Also friend coming over soon who is going to sort out garden for me, that will be a big relief and can allocate some of £300 to pay for it.

FW said he would like to come over this morning said he never wants to quarrel again and will be civil and understanding????, This means he wants you to do as he says. It has nothing to do with arguing but all to do with control of you.

Because lets face it if he didn't want "to quarrel" he would set up a standing order to pay your child maintenance each week/month so you don't have to remind him or ask for money. Sort out his pets.

clutter Well academic as he did not turn up. His idea of not quarrling is he he does not like anything I say, he will just get up and drive away. I feel like I am treading on egg shells. I am going to do my best to remain calm when he eventually turns up and sort things once and for all

'He doesn't want to quarrel again' = stfu

As an aside, I am thrilled I managed to get the = to work as I am struggling with the keyboard.

I'd suggest that you don't count on the money until it is actually in your hand.

Show him the text as he was probably completely drunk when he sent it and won't remember. Then I would suggest that you say that you agree completely with him, one hundred percent, and that in future there is no point meeting up, DS can make his own arrangements with fw and all further contact about the money he owes you can be by email. In fact everything can be by email so that there are no misunderstandings and things can be worked out amicably. btw take the dog with you when you go.

I think you really need to keep him out of your head. Can you not read his texts except for once a week or when ds is with him?

Good luck.

lisa stfu? sorry am I being thick.

I wish I could keep him out of my head.

Lisa means when he says He doesn't want to quarrel again what HE is saying to you 'shut the fuck up'.

ah, thanks clutter yep that is it really

Good luck with the garden though if his lordship failed to show I guess you might hold back on the expense.

Heartily agree with Lisa & Clutter.

He is apparently coming after work to drop money off. No doubt will have to tell me all about his great evening last night.

I suggest that you nod, smile, get the money and have the dog ready {if it is safe for the poor dog}

Try imagine you are in a room watching it all on a screen. Or pink rhinoceros, with sparkly toenails. That is, if he turns up. If he looks under the influence, call the police re driving. This may help him access some help or at least realise that he needs formal help.

Good luck.

Just mowed to large lawns myself, bloody knackered.
lisa I will try to take your advice is he bothers to turn up.

So FW did turn out with the money, great, then proceeded to down a couple of bottles of wine, so much for never wanting to quarrel again and will be civil and understanding? He accused me of having sex with our gardener friend, ranted about demanded to know how many people I have slept with since we split up and apparetly I he does not find me sexually attractive and only comes over because he feels sorry for me. As he was pissed and drove home, I called the police and alerted them as I promised myself I would do the next time he did it. What complete dick

Hugs - he is the gift that keeps on giving, isn't he?

My suggestion is

fw: I have some money for you.
Blossom: Great, I'll meet you in town.
fw: here is the money, now I want to know inappropriate detail of your life...
Blossom: sorry, got to go, hot date.

My guess is that he is devastated that you didn't crumble without him. How dare you look at other men, especially as the queue of fit blondes hasn't turned up at his door yet. He will lash out, and you are his favourite punch bag. I suggest that you keep as much distance as possible. Easier said than done.

Good luck - and well done on reporting. He is insane and it isn't fair to decent people who are endangered by his drink driving.

Was the wine in the house or did he bring it with him? I would suggest that you're very strict with yourself from now on and if he does come to the house he's not invited in.

'Here's the money'. 'Great, thanks'. 'Now here's a... ' 'Got to dash, rather busy this evening, bye!' and shut the door.

Its your house, you should only invite friends round and he's certainly not that. What you do with yourself is absolutely none of his business - you could be sleeping with the gardener, postman and the twins from the next village and having orgies in the house - as long as it doesn't affect your son, it is really nothing to do with him. Perhaps 'what if I am?' might be a good response?

you could be sleeping with the gardener, postman and the twins from the next village and having orgies in the house

..the Pontypridd 15 on a rugby tour, the pick of the local Young Farmers and whoever you damn well please it's none of his business!

You lot are mad.
mistle he brought wine
donkey
Had a text from him this morning so not caught last night. Still going on about our gardener friend, well do fancy him a bit but married so no go for me. Seems to care an awful lot about what I do.
Been speaking another guy recently through POF he is hilarious, weirdly another cyclist

Well I hope that being able to have a bit of a with us helps?

If he brings wine, accept a bottle at the door, say, 'Oh is that for me, thanks! Sorry, I'm really busy , Bye!' and shut the door in his face.

As he was pissed and drove home, I called the police and alerted them as I promised myself I would do the next time he did it.

Forgot to say earlier, good for you. He's an accident waiting to happen.

Hope your birthday went well Blossom .

Actually birthday is tomorrow. I was there watching the wimbledon final on my own, just feeling very sad and lonely, have no plans to do anything special tomorrow. I just hope in 1 years time things will be very different.

I just hope in 1 years time things will be very different.

Hear, hear.

Are you looking at holidays for you and DS yet?

Thanks donkey lets face it things can only get better. Not made any decision about holiday, looking at finances atm, things looking better this month, might even be able to pay the mortgage and bills.